Everyone notices the difference between a personal written Happy Birthday Card compared to a generic printed card bought in the store. The bought card might be fancier with pull outs and perfect rhyme etc. but it doesn't impact the receiver the same way, both emotionally and psychologically, as a thought out message hand written. The first statement that a Yid says very morning when he wakes us is a personal thank you to Hashem for returning his soul. מודה אני לפניך שהחזרת בי נשמתי. And if one still is not cognizant of the personal Hashgacha and concern of Hashem by returning back his neshamah, he is given a second chance as a reminder in the tefillah of אלהי נשמה שנתת בי, משמרה בקרבי, ממני, ולהחזירה בי, שהנשמה בקרבי, אלקי. The poignant effect of personalizing over just being part of the group, are light years distant from each other.
One of the most difficult mitzvos to fulfill is during the night of the Seder. In contrast to every night of the year where there is a mitzvah of זכר ליציאת מצרים making it incumbent on every Yid to remember and recall the geulah of Am Yisrael from Mitzrayim, on the night of the Seder one is obligated to actually relive his redemption חייב אדם לראות את עצמו כאילו הוא יצא ממצרים. Many rituals have been instituted at the Seder to help us overcome this daunting challenge and personalize our redemption but nevertheless it still remains a hurdle for everyone to pass over.
There is a true story about a group of irreligious Israelis who were on a trip in the Amazon jungle. Suddenly out of nowhere, a boa constrictor fell from a tree and wrapped himself around one member of the group. Everyone tried to pull it off of him but to no avail. They could see that they were helpless and their friend was already beginning to turn blue from the lack of breath. One member screamed out Yossi this is the end, at least say the Shema Yisrael. With his almost last breath Yossi screamed out the Shemah Yisrael which he knew from his youth. Amazingly the snake suddenly released his deathly grip around Yossi and slithered away from the group who stood stupefied from the open miracle that just witnessed. Yossi returned back to Eretz Yisrael and became a Baal Teshuva. The impactful experience and the evident intervention of Hashem, drove him to learn Torah diligently to become a true Ben Torah, to get married, and to become an Avreich is the Ponivish Yeshiva. One day he gets a call from a member of that same group who wanted to come visit him. Yossi was excited that maybe this meeting together might inspire his friend to change his lifestyle and hashkafah. Yossi told his friend that he wanted him to meet his Rebbi Rav Yehcezkail Levenstein who was well aware of Yossi's past. As they met and talked, Rav Yechezkail asked Yossi's friend about that jungle experience with the boa constrictor. After Yossi's friend finished retelling the episode, Rav Yechezkail asked him bluntly if you were there and saw the miracle why is it that you didn't change your life to become religious? He answered "the miracle happened to him not to me"!
Yossi's friend saw the near-death experience live and in color, he deeply felt the panic and the tenseness of the life and death situation, he saw the obvious intervention of Hashem and yet even with all this he did not personalize the details of the deathly crisis of losing a close friend and his salvation from the hand of Hashem.
What is expected from us during Tisha B'av? Chazal say (Aicha Rabbasi 3,8) that the night of the Pesach Seder always falls on the same day of the week as Tisha B'av. According to what we explained above, this connection includes, that just as the night of the Seder requires one to relive the experience of servitude and freedom on this night, so too one must bring himself to feel as if he is part of that Churban of the Beis Hamikdashos on Tisha B'av. For Chazal tell us (Yerushalmi Yuma 1,1) that כל שלא נבנה בית המקדש בימיו כאילו נחרב בימיו every individual who does not witness the building of the Beis Hamikdash in his days is tantamount that it was destroyed in his days. Does that mean to say that Torah giants like the Rambam and Rabbe Akivah Eiger were instrumental in the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash as well?
The Zera Kodesh of Ropschitz explains that the word בימיו used by Chazal does not mean in his days but rather it is to be interpreted as with his days. Every Yid throughout the generations is a partner collectively in the constant building of the Beis Hamikdash. Each one of his days of life, if it is full with mitzvos, maasim tovim, Torah study, and tikkun hamiddos, are the building stones of the future Beis Hamikdash. An individual who allows his days to be wasted and purposeless, and fails to contribute to this ongoing process, is deemed to having destroyed it by holding back its rebuilding.
What Chazal are conveying to us is that we must take this day of Tisha B'av and make it personal. We can watch films and clips about our national tragedy the entire day, we can be inspired by personal stories and triumphs. However, if we don't personalize it but rather say "it didn't happen to me" then we lost the purpose of this special day. Each one of us must come to the recognition that we possess a personal churban of which we are responsible, for thereby withholding from Klal Yisrael and Hashem His dwelling and presence amongst us. We must realize that by not personalizing this day and internalizing to reclaim our life's mission and tachlis, we are destructive, irresponsible, apathetic and ungrateful to our nation and to the One who created us.
In another Chazal (Berachos 33) they have revealed to us how to attain the madraigah of being deemed as if we built the Beis Hamikdash in our lives. This knowledge is apropos and foundational for this national day of mourning. כל אדם שיש לו דעה כאילו נבנה בית המקדש בימיו anyone who possesses daas is deemed as if the built the Beis Hamikdash in his days. The word daas is explained as the ability to infuse knowledge and internalize it into the middos and action. Not to talk the talk but to walk the walk. The word דעת also spells עדות which means testimony. It is the changing of one's actions and conduct that give testimony that his wisdom has been integrated in his character and heart the seat of his middos.
Therefore, the mourning process of Tisha B'av must include the component of דעת as a building stone for the future Beis Hamikdash to rectify the "it did not happen to me" syndrome and "I take no responsibility for the concealed relationship that we have in galus with Hashem".
Nearly every year I get emotional when we sing the kinus of בצאתי ממצרים בצאתי מירושלים. I used to think that the reason of this reaction is because of the niggun that we sing alongside the words. After all the niggun that accompanies Aicha arouses emotion. However today I had a new insight into the basis of my emotions and that is, this particular Kinna is personalized. It is all about me and my yetzias mitzrayim and my going into galus as if I am experiencing both of these two monumental historical events of Am Yisrael simultaneously. With a personalized lamentation accompanied with an arousing song, one can attain דעת and feel repair and hope for the future with his commitment to change and upgrade his spiritual life and closeness to Hashem and with his fellow Yid.
Even in the tefillah of נחם which we recite at Mincha Tisha B'av our Chachamim threw into the national tragedy nusach a personalized message לבי לבי מעי מעי (Yirmiyah 4,19). Chazal understood very well that one needs to personalize a national tragedy and take a responsibility for it, even in תשפג . Otherwise, the delay of rebuilding of the Churban can linger on for years chas veshalom.
Chazal tell us that the first word of Lamentation which is איכה is related to Adam Harishon when after the chait, Hashem addressed him with the inquiry "Ayekah" where are you? With every reading of Aicha each person must also address to himself the question of Ayekah where are you, what is your responsibility in Hashem's departure from Adam and the Churban of the Beis Hamikdash that casued the galus of Am Yisrael. Without a self questioning of Ayehkah, and a change of conduct, there will not be a fixing of our state of Aichah.
Tisha B'av is not only about the fasting, viewing the clips, reading books and articles about the Churban and saying Nacheim alone. It is all the above on the condition that one personalizes the arousals of what he hears and sees this day of mourning. הרואה סוטה בקלקולה יזיר עצמו מן היין . If one sees a Sotah woman when her body is falling apart he must refrain from wine and its products. Why? Chazal are telling us that this is Hashem's way of communicating to you. If you were witness to this miracle you are prone to the same outcome of this unfortunate woman if you don't take care of it and make a real change in your ways. I believe that my niggun Bilvavi which talks about building a Mishkan to Hashem in one's heart, brings out the same emotion. It is a song of yearning to personally build within yourself a dwelling place for Hashem. It is through this song that one takes upon himself the responsibility of why it has not yet been built over these hundreds of centuries. It stirs wi,thin one's heart the meaning and purpose of life and that the most important and precious thing in the world is one's close relationship with Hashem. For that goal we are even willing to sacrifice our lives, which includes for sure a passing and fleeting materialistic world. ולקרבן אקריב לו את נפשי, את נפשי היחידה
Rav Brazil
Gut Shabbos
