will find Him, if you seek with all your heart.
Just keep trying. שֶ בַ ע יִּפוֹל צַ דִּ יק וָקָ ם משלי כד טז A Tzaddik falls seven times, and gets up. Failing is almost inevitable; don’t be impressed with it. The main thing is just being an: עוֹדבֵ Oved (one who serves Hashem seriously).
פֶ ן יֶחֱ רֶ ה אַ ף ה' ו טו
A Yid Needs to Be Nis'pael From Hashem, And Play Down the Rest of The World
הרָ חָ is a Lashon of burning. Gehinom is the punishment for people who fail to acknowledge the real fire of Har Sinai. The smoke and fire, the: לפֶ רָ עַ darkness, and: וֹלוֹקת וּבְ רָ קִּ ים thunder & lightning of Har Sinai is supposed to get a person charged up and “on fire” in Avodas Hashem; to realize his greatness and get moving upwards, like a fire always goes up.
הֲ שָ מַ ע עָ ם קוֹל אֱ לֹקִּ ים מְ דַ בֵ ר מִּ תוֹךְ הָ אֵ ש כַאֲ שֶ ר שָ מַ עְ תָ אַ תָ ה וַיֶחִּ י ד לג Has any other nation heard the voice of Hashem speaking out of fire, and survived? The Pesukim continue reminding us of the Nissim and מוֹרָ אִּ ים גְּ דֹלִּ ים ד לד terrifying experiences that happened on Har Sinai, and those during Yetzias Mitzrayim, with all the incredible Makkos: בְ יָד חֲ זָקָ ה וּבִּ זְ רוֹעַ נְ טוּיָה with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm! A Yid needs to be Nis'pael from Hashem, and play down the rest of the world.
He needs to stop being afraid of mere humans, no matter how important and Chashuv and powerful and smart they may be; no Hispa'alus from anybody! Massive mountains and high skyscrapers, even great Tzadikim are there for you ONLY to bring you closer to Hashem, not to have your tongue hanging out in awe of a human, and getting depressed why you aren’t on a higher Madrega.
Fire symbolizes Hispa'alus, which belongs only with Hashem. You talk about His greatness, and rave about the beauty of His world, with as many details as possible. Fire causes fear, and you learn to fear ONLY Hashem; not a silly Basar V'dam who doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.
Fire also means “light” and Simcha. At the Simchas Bais HaSho'eva in Yerushalayim which they celebrated every night of Chol HaMoed Sukkos, they juggled with “fiery” torches. And the giant Menorah’s, each with four giant torches, lit up the entire city. (Mishna). There is: חֲ רוֹן אַ ף fiery anger only when Simcha and aspirations for greatness and aiming upwards are missing. You have your choice which fire to choose: Gehinom and anger (when a person gets angry, he is exposed to all the forces of Gehinom. Gemara) and punishments, or greatness and Simcha and the true Ga'ava: וַיִּ גְ בַ הּ לִּ בוֹ בְ דַ רְ כֵי ה' lifting your heart in order to serve Hashem.
