It is a great level to accept shame and humiliation in silence, without answering back. Reb Yonason Eibshitz ('ל 'ג איכה ,בכות אלות) says it is as if one brought a korban. This is alluded to in the pesukim (Tehillim 4:5-6) וְדֹמּ וּ צֶדֶק זִבְחֵי זִבְ חוּ ,סֶלָה, "...be utterly silent. Slaughter offerings..." Reb Yonason Eibshitz writes, "It is known that when someone embarrasses his fellow man, it is like he murdered him. The color leaves his face, and he turns white like the dead. When a person hears people humiliating him and doesn't respond, and he accepts it with love, it is like his blood is being poured for Hashem and brought on the mizbeiach, and he conquers his yetzer hara immensely. סֶלָה וְדֹמּ וּ means that he is embarrassed and he accepts it with love and in silence. It is like his blood was put on the mizbeiach, as it states afterwards, זִבְחֵי זִבְ חוּ צֶדֶק, 'Slaughter offerings...'"
The Navi (beginning of Shmuel 1) tells that Elkanah had two wives, Chanah and Peninah. "Peninah had children, but Chanah had no children" (Shmuel 1, 1:2). Peninah used to provoke and humiliate Chanah, as it states, (ibid. 1:6) כִּי ּה ַרְּעִמָה בַּע ֲבוּר כַּעַס גַּם ּצָרָתָה וְכִעֲסַת ָּה ּרַחְמָה בְּעַד 'ה ס ָגַר, "Her rival (tzarah, named Peninah) provoked her again and again to irritate her." Rashi writes that she would say to Chanah, "Did you buy a hat for your older son? Did you buy a shirt for your younger son?" Rashi also writes that her taunting was l'shem Shamayim. She wanted Chanah to be upset and daven for children.
The Navi tells us that Chanah davened for a child, and Hashem gave her Shmuel HaNavi. Chanah praised Hashem, she said (Shmuel 1, 2:1), 'בַּה ק ַרְנִי רָמָה 'בַּה לִבִּי עָלַץ, "My heart exults in Hashem. My pride has been raised through Hashem." The Chasam Sofer (Drashos, Drush 22, vol.3 p.22a) teaches that Chanah merited a child because she accepted the shame she received in silence, and she didn't embarrass Peninah. The Chasam Sofer writes, "Chanah said that she was נעלבת, embarrassed, ולא נעלבת, and she didn't embarrass others, and she wasn't upset about the tzaar she had in This World. Actually, she was happy with her yesurim. In this merit, she had her yeshuah." This is hinted at in the words עָלַץ 'בַּה לִבִּי which are roshei teivos for עלב, shame. She was shamed, yet she didn't shame others, and therefore Hashem raised her mazal, and she merited to give birth to Shmuel.
When a person is embarrassed and humiliated by others, it is an opportune time for tefillah. If he can be silent and not respond, and he davens to Hashem, his tefillos will be answered. An indication of this is found in Malbim’s commentary on the following pesukim. It states, (Tehillim 69:13-14) 'ה ָלְך תְפ ִלָּתִי וַאֲנִי ,שֵׁכָר שׁוֹתֵי וּנְגִינוֹת שָׁעַר יֹשְׁבֵי בִי יָשִׂיחוּ ָיִשְׁעֶך בֶּאֱמֶת ע ֲנֵנִי ָחַס ְדֶּך בְּרָב א ֱלֹק ִים רָצוֹן עֵת, "Those who sit in the gates talk about me and make up drinking-songs of drunkards. As for me, may my prayer to You, Hashem, be at an opportune time. O Hashem, in your abundant kindness, answer me with the truth of Your salvation."
The Malbim writes, "When people who sit at the gates speak about me, and they drink wine and they make leitzonus about me, at that time, ָלְך תְפ ִלָּתִי וַאֲנִי, I turn and pray to You. This is because when people laugh at me, it is an eis ratzon. At this time, א ֱלֹק ִים ָיִשְׁעֶך בֶּאֱמֶת ע ֲנֵנִי ָחַס ְדֶּך בְּרָב, Hashem answers my tefillos and grants me salvation.
Last summer, he went to a bakery erev Shabbos to buy challos for Shabbos. In this bakery, people put on gloves before they handle baked goods. For some reason, he didn't do so this time. When he put out his hand to take one of the challos, one of the customers in the store shouted at him in a loud voice, "Does everyone have to buy what you have already touched with your hands?" He was very embarrassed. He felt as though his blood was being shed like water. He was also upset that no one in the store spoke up in his defense. It seemed that they all agreed that he should be berated in such an embarrassing manner. He immediately turned his eyes to heaven and whispered a tefillah from the depths of his heart. He said, "Ribono Shel Olam, let this shame be a merit for my two sisters who are waiting so long for children." One of his sisters was married for four years; the other one, six and a half years. They both didn't have children. Hashem heard his tefillah. Both his sisters bore a child. One child was born before Purim, the other before Pesach. He also had his yeshuah; despite the doctors' dire predictions, he had a son that year. Three children – three worlds – all in the zechus of remaining silent in the face of humiliation, and by turning the pain and suffering into a tefillah to Hashem.
Another story happened in the Catskills last year. A rav was saying a long shalashudes Torah, and one of the attendees ran out of patience and embarrassed the rav in public. "Why do you go on and on with divrei Torah that no one is interested in hearing..." The rav remained silent. Someone quickly approached the rav and told him that he is six years after his chasunah, and he doesn't have children. The rav blessed him with all his heart that he should bear a child. Then, the rav said to him, "Not one child. Two children. May you have twins." This year he had twins. Mazel Tov!
