We discussed previously that when the majority of a kehila accepts Shabbos, even if it is before the required time that one must start Shabbos, that obligates the rest of the kehila to stop doing melacha, as well. Does this apply to a husband and wife, as well? Does the husband davening early require the wife to stop doing melacha, or can she continue along with her Shabbos preparations, while her husband has already recited kabalas Shabbos?
If she is required to stop, that would mean that a wife must finish all melacha before the husband accepts Shabbos, even if it is a while until he comes home from shul? In addition, she would be required to light the candles before the husband recites kabalas Shabbos. Keeping in mind that she cannot light the candles before plag, that would leave just a small window of time to light – in between plag and the time that the shul reaches bo’ee vishalom.
Rav Moshe Feinstein, in his classic Igros Moshe, opines that a husband’s acceptance of Shabbos does not affect the wife, and she is allowed to continue to do melacha. He asserts that it is not stricter than a husband who makes a neder, which will not obligate the wife.
He points out an additional reason to allow the wife to continue to do melacha. As mentioned previously, it is possible that the only time that the acceptance of early Shabbos would have implications is if a person is mekabel because he wants to add to the kedusha of Shabbos or in order to stay away from desecrating Shabbos. But, more often than not, one is only accepting the early Shabbos for convenience; the proof is that hardly anyone makes an early Shabbos in the winter. That may not have the severity of a full-fledged minhag and would not obligate the wife to refrain from melacha.
He does add that, although one who did not make an early Shabbos is allowed to do melacha for someone who did, a wife should not do melacha for her husband, once he accepted Shabbos. He explains that there is a fundamental difference between others doing melacha and one’s own wife. Other people doing melacha for you is only a rabinical prohibition. Consequently, in the case where someone did not make Shabbos yet, it can be allowed. But, says the Igros, for a wife to do melacha involves a Scriptural mandate. This, he maintains, is similar to the prohibition of asking one’s slave to do work, as stated in the Torah. Since a husband has certain authority over his wife – she is obligated to do certain work for him – the same restriction should apply.
Rav Yonasan Shteif, in his teshuvos, also concurs with this ruling. He says out that we only find in Shulchan Aruch a precedent for a kehila obligating the others; we do not find in Shulchan Aruch any mention that a wife is obligated to follow her husband. He also does not differentiate, as the Igros Moshe does, if she is doing it for her husband.
The Shevet Halevi, however takes issue with the psak of the Igros Moshe, arguing on all his points. He posits that a wife should be just as obligated to her husband as the minority is to the majority. He adds that a wife is more obligated, because ishto k’gugo, a wife is considered to be one entity with her husband and, additionally, he says that a husband is the boss of the house and he sets the rules and regulations for the household.
As far as comparing a wife to a servant, he says that although a wife has certain responsibilities to her husband, it is still not to be compared to a servant, and should not be a reason for her not to be allowed to do melacha for her husband.
As far as differentiating between why a person is making an early Shabbos – whether it is for convenience or for adding on to the sanctity of Shabbos– he feels that there should be no difference. As long as they made early Shabbos, for whatever reason, that should obligate both the wife and the minority to follow suit.
In summary, whether a husband who is mekabel Shabbos, obligates his wife to join, is subject to a machlokes haposkim.
Rabbi Scheiner
