Four Tips for Your Teβillos to be Answered
The parashah begins, ההיא בעת 'ה אל ואתחנן לאמר, "I prayed to Hashem at that time, saying..." Moshe davened with all his heart to have the merit to come into Eretz Yisrael. The Or HaChaim HaKadosh teaches that Moshe Rabbeinu was careful to daven in the best manner, so he would have increased hope that his tefillos would be answered. He used four techniques for his tefillah, and they are alluded to in this pasuk:
1) To daven with humility.
One shouldn't ask from Hashem as if he deserves it, and that Hashem must answer him. Rather, one should request with humility, understanding that Hashem doesn't owe him anything. This is alluded to in the word ואתחנן, which means pleading, as it states (Mishlei 18) רש ידבר תחנונים, "The poor plead." This is how Moshe davened, like a poor person, requesting a חנם מתנת, an undeserved gift from Hashem.
Before Shemonah Esrei in the morning, we say דלים עוזר, "Hashem helps the poor." The Arizal says that one should imagine that he is poor and helpless, and daven with that mindset.
The Pele Yoetz (Kniyah) writes that there was once a group of tzaddikim who were davening with lots of kavanah, and it was revealed to them from heaven that although their tefillos were wonderful, they deserved punishment since they didn’t have humility. However, there was one person in the group who davened with humility, and in his merit, everyone was saved.
Once, a woman asked the Chofetz Chaim zt'l to daven for her son who was very ill. The Chofetz Chaim came to the beis medresh and said, "Ribono Shel Olam, over the years, You did so much kindness with me. You helped me write the sefarim Mishnah Berurah, Shemiras HaLashon, and other sefarim. It is not because I was deserving that You helped me. It was due to Your unlimited kindness. Please do me one more favor and answer my tefillos and heal this boy."
Take note that the Chofetz Chaim didn’t say, "In the merit that I wrote all these sefarim, answer my tefillos." He prayed with humility, with the recognition that everything he has is because of Hashem’s kindness.
A student of the Chazon Ish zt'l once said to his Rebbe, "Es kumt mir a mazal tov – I deserve a mazal tov. I just had a child." The Chazon Ish rebuked him, because no one can say "es kumt mir", that he deserves Hashem's kindness. Hashem doesn't owe anyone anything.
A childless woman was complaining to Reb Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt'l about her bitter life. Reb Shlomo Zalman explained to her that she can't have complaints because Hashem doesn’t owe her anything. However, if she will do for Hashem more than she is required to do, Hashem will do for her more than she deserves, and she will merit children. She heeded his advice and became a volunteer in Shaarei Tzedek hospital in Yerushalayim. A year later, she had a daughter.
2) To plead from the source of compassion.
The next condition for tefillah is hinted in the words, 'ה אל. The Or HaChaim writes, הרחמים ממקור שבקש, to plead from the source of compassion.
3) To daven at auspicious times.
ההיא בעת teaches us to daven when there is an eis ratzon, auspicious times for tefillah. Some times are more mesugal for tefillah than others, and we should strive to daven at those times.
The Gemara says, "When is it an eis ratzon? It is when the tzibur davens." Reb Pinchas Koritzer zt'l says that for an hour, each day, the הגנוז אור (concealed light) shines, and whoever prays at that time, his tefillos will be answered. Since we don’t know when the or haganuz shines, it is good to pray several times during the day. Maybe he will pray at the time when the concealed light shines, when it is an eis ratzon for tefillos to be answered.
4) To express oneself clearly in prayer.
לאמר means that when one davens, one should express himself clearly. He shouldn't speak in vague, ambiguous terms, leaving room for doubt in the meaning of his words.
There was a couple in Yerushalayim who had only one daughter. They wanted more children, and they would daven, "Fill our house with children." With those somewhat ambiguous words, they prayed for more children. Their one and only daughter merited to have many children. Unfortunately, she was divorced, and she and her children moved into her parents' home. The parents' tefillos were answered. Their home was now "filled with children," but that wasn't what they meant. It is essential to be specific and express oneself clearly while davening.
The Or HaChaim quotes the following Midrash (Esther Rabba 7:24): A traveler was exhausted after walking a long distance. He raised his eyes to heaven and said, "Ribono Shel Olam! Send me a donkey!" This was an ambiguous tefillah because he didn't specify why he wanted a donkey. He walked on and met a high-ranking official. The official was standing next to a donkey and its new offspring. The official couldn't travel on with the newborn, so he commanded the Yid to carry the baby donkey to his home. As the Yid walked, with the donkey on his shoulders, he said, "This happened to me because I davened for a donkey, but I didn't express myself clearly. I failed to ask for a donkey to ride on. My prayers were answered; I received a donkey. But instead of riding on it, I must carry it."
