“How Can I Forget the Miracles?”
We have related in the past that Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l was about to deliver a shiur before his talmidim when the bitter news came regarding the passing of his beloved grandson, Sruly Miller, in an accident in Eretz Yisrael. All the attendees of the shiur were sad and brokenhearted by the news, and in walked Rav Miller to deliver his shiur with his usual sweetness and geshmak. Everyone present was sure that the news had simply not yet reached him—for they saw no difference in his demeanor. Later, it became clear that not only did he know about it; he had already eulogized his grandson via hookup, and he had arrived in yeshiva straight from delivering deivrei hesped.
His talmidim turned to him and asked, “Rebbi, how are you capable of such emotional strength?!”
And Rav Avigdor answered, “Imagine that a person insulted you, and moments later, you open the mail to find a number of checks made out to large sums of money for work that you did. Would the pain of that insult prevent you from feeling joy about the money?! And so, I tell you, in these very moments, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is giving me air to breathe, and more air to breathe... and more air. How can I forget about these incredible kindnesses because of the terrible news that came to me?!”
Through this story, Rav Miller illuminates for us the words of the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh and the Sefer HaChinuch. When a person goes through difficulties and challenges, there are many ways to strengthen himself. But the Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh is telling us that the best answer is right there: to constantly remember and constantly repeat to himself the goodness and the kindness of Hashem, and then he won’t even feel his tzaros as much. This is how a person must live 24 hours every day; filled and subsumed with gratitude and joy for Hashem’s kindness and the goodness—until nothing at all can interfere with that joy.
