Out of all the Aseres Hadibros, the mitzvah of kibud av va’eim is unique. The first column of the luchos contains mitzvos bein adam laMakom, and the second contains mitzvos bein adam lachaveiro. Kibud av va’eim is at the end of the first column, since it really fits into both of these categories. Why is this so?
The Sefer HaChinuch (33) explains that the reason behind the mitzvah of kibud av va’eim is to express gratitude for all the great kindnesses our parents have given us. It is hard to accurately describe how much our parents do for us. They helped bring us into the world and provided us with all we needed when we were so little and helpless. They are always there for us and love us unconditionally. We mustn’t be ungrateful and instead honor and respect them, as a way of expressing our heartfelt appreciation.
This mitzvah is so fundamental that it is one of the Aseres Hadibros, and the Torah specifies its reward: “”Honor your father and mother in order that your days will be lengthened…” (Shemos 20:12). Also, our Rabbis list it as one of the mitzvos where we will “” eat its fruits in this world,” yet its primary reward is in the next world (Peah 1:1).
When we truly ingrain how much we are indebted to our parents, continues the Chinuch, we will come to realize how much more so Hashem has taken care of mankind. From when Adam HaRishon was formed, Hashem has given human beings everything they need to survive and, each second, pumps into us the priceless gift of life. Hashem looks after us, our parents, and every human that has ever lived since Adam HaRishon. When we truly appreciate the great good our parents do, we will appreciate all the great goodness of our Father in Heaven.
We can now understand why this mitzvah has elements of bein adam lachaveiro and bein adam laMakom. Appreciating what our parents do helps us also appreciate the limitless kindness that Hashem is always bestowing upon us, leading us to a greater awareness of what He does. When we truly internalize this, we will live a life of such happiness.
There was a man who was known by everyone as being one of the happiest people. He always wore a big smile and would always relate how much he appreciated all life’s blessings. When asked for his secret—how he is always so happy and appreciative—he explained that his parents were so supportive and loving. Even when he misbehaved and came home with a negative report card, his parents always made him feel loved. When he grew older, he began to think: If this is how my parents act towards me, then all the more so, how much does Hashem love me with such unconditional love? Even if I sin and make mistakes, He is always showering me with so much good and blessing. Appreciating what his parents did and their unconditional love helped train him to appreciate Hashem’s unlimited goodness. This ensured he was always of good spirits, radiating happiness to everyone who knew him. (A Life of Bitachon)
