This week's Parsha, B’ezrat Hashem is Parshat Va'etchanan. This Shabbat is also called Shabbat Nachamu, after the first Haftarah we read from the Shiva D’Nechemta – the Seven of Consolation: נַחֲמוּ נַחֲמוּ עַמִּ י יֹאמַ ר אֱ -לֹהֵ יכֶ ם – Comfort, comfort My people, says your G-d.
This year, the 15th of Av – Tu B’Av – falls on Friday, and the Mishna states in Massechet Ta'anit (4:8):
ַמְלִיאֵל, לֹא הָיוּ יָמִים טוֹבִים לְיִשְׂרָאֵל כַּחֲמִשָּׁה ּאָמַר רַ בָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן ג עָשָׂר בְּאָב וּכְיוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִ ים, שׁ ֶבָּהֶן בְּנוֹת יְרוּשׁ ָלַיִם יוֹצְאוֹת בִּכְלֵי לָבָן ֵשׁ אֶת מִי שׁ ֶאֵין לוֹ ֹּא לְבַי ּשְׁאוּלִין, שׁ ֶל ...וּבְנוֹת יְרוּשׁ ָלַיִם יוֹצְאוֹת וְחוֹלוֹת בַּכְּרָמִים.
Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no better days for Israel than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur, when the daughters of Yerushalayim would go out in borrowed white garments, so as not to embarrass those who did not have... and the daughters of Yerushalayim would go out and dance in the vineyards.
The question arises: Why does the Mishna list Tu B’Av as the first good day, when the Jewish year begins in Tishrei with Rosh Hashanah, suggesting Yom Kippur should logically come first?
The Ben Yehoyada explains: It seems that this custom began in Israel on the 15th of Av before Yom Kippur, and after several years, it was also practiced on Yom Kippur itself. Alternatively, Tu B’Av often marked the start of matchmaking, when a young man first saw a maiden and felt drawn to her, with the process often concluding on Yom Kippur, as the time between them is short. Conversely, it would not happen that the beginning would be on Yom Kippur and the completion on the 15th of Av, as the time between them is great and it would be forgotten.
Today, we will delve into the matters of Tu B’Av. We begin with a question from the Gemara (Ta'anit 30b):
בִּשְׁלָמָא יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִ ים – מִשּׁ וּם דְּ אִית בֵּיהּ סְלִיחָה וּמְחִילָה, יוֹם שׁ ֶנִּיתְּנוּ בּוֹ לוּחוֹת הָאַחֲרוֹנוֹת. ָא חֲמִשָּׁה עָשָׂר בְּאָב מַאי הִיא? ּאֶל אָמַר רַ ב יְהוּדָה אָמַר שְׁמוּאֵל: יוֹם שׁ ֶהוּתְּרוּ שְׁבָטִים לָבוֹא זֶה בָּזֶה.
It's understandable why Yom Kippur is significant, as it is a day of forgiveness and atonement, and furthermore, it is the day the second Luchot were given. But what is the significance of the 15th of Av, and why was it established as a “good day”? The first opinion offered is that the 15th of Av was established as a day of joy because on that day the tribes were permitted to intermarry; on this day, the prohibition against a daughter, inheriting her father's estate, from marrying a man from another shevet was annulled. The Gemara then asks from where we learn this prohibition applied only to that generation and not future ones, and the answer is: זֶה הַדָּבָר אֲשׁ ֶר צִוָּה ה׳ לִבְנוֹת צְלׇפְחָד – This is the word that Hashem commanded concerning the daughters of Tzelafchad. This Pasuk teaches that the prohibition of transferring inheritance from tribe to tribe only applied in that generation. A second reason given for the significance of the day is that on the 15th of Av the tribe of Binyamin was permitted to enter Kehal Yisrael and marry with the other shevatim; after they had forbidden such marriages due to the incident of Pilegesh BaGivah – the concubine in Givah (Shoftim 21:1). A third reason given is that on the 15th of Av, those who died in the wilderness ceased dying, as the decree that they should perish and not enter into Eretz Yisrael was annulled. Three additional reasons are also provided: it was the day King Hoshea abolished the guards that Yeravam ben Nevat had placed on the roads to Yerushalayim to prevent Aliyat HaRegel to the Beit Hamikdash; it was the day when the dead of Beitar were allowed to be buried, and the bodies had not decomposed the entire time; and it was the day when they ceased cutting wood for the Mizbe’ach, and they rejoiced because a great Mitzvah had been completed.
The Point of Similarity Between Tu B’Av and Yom Kippur
The first question that needs clarification is: What is the point of similarity between Tu B’Av and Yom Kippur? Another question that needs clarification: Shlomo HaMelech says:
צְ אֶ נָה וֹ אִמּוֹ שְׁלֹמֹה בָּעֲטָרָ ה שׁ ֶעִטְּרָ ה־ל וֹן בַּמֶּלֶך וּרְ אֶינָה בְּנוֹת צִי בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ וּבְיוֹם שִׂ מְ חַת לִבּוֹ׃
Go forth and gaze, daughters of Tzion, upon King Shlomo; upon the crown with which his mother adorned him on the day of his wedding, and on the day his heart rejoiced.
On this Pasuk, the Mishna (Ta’anit 4:8) states: בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ refers to Matan Torah, and וּבְיוֹם שִׂ מְ חַת לִבּוֹ refers to the building of the Beit Hamikdash (which may it be rebuilt speedily in our days, Amen). This implies that Tu B’Av has some connection to the building of the Beit Hamikdash, and the question is: what is that connection?
Another question, if the Mishna tells us “And the daughters of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards," it implies there is some special time on Tu B’Av related to shidduchim – matchmaking. What is the connection between the two?
Blessing and Curse in the Month of Av
The sefer Shaar Yissachar, by the Minchas Elazar of Munkács, quotes the Kedushat Levi, where at the end of the essay for Shabbat Nachamu, he says the month of Av is both blessed and cursed. As it pertains our topic, this helps us understand the Gemara’s statement that on the 15th of Av they were engaged in matchmaking, and on that day they would go out and dance in the vineyards, etc. Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, went out and chose a match for Yitzchak Avinu, and at that time he went from being cursed to being blessed. Similarly, on Tu B’Av, we go from being cursed, in the first half of the month, to being blessed, in the second half of the month. Therefore, they engage in matchmaking, similar to Eliezer, who went out and by this went from being cursed to being blessed.
The Ceasing of Death in the Wilderness
Shifting to the next reason given for the day of Tu B’Av being a joyous day, Chazal come and tell us what happened on that day when those who were destined to die in the wilderness ceased dying. The Midrash (Eicha Rabbah 1:33) recounts:
Every eve of the ninth of Av, Moshe would announce to the entire camp, saying: “Go out and dig,” and they would go out and dig graves and sleep in them. In the morning, he would dispatch a messenger saying: “Rise and separate the dead from the living,” and they would stand and take themselves out. Fifteen thousand and more were subtracted, for a total of six hundred thousand. In the fortieth year, the last one, they did so and found themselves intact. They said: “It appears that we were mistaken in our calculation,” and they did the same on the tenth, the eleventh, the twelfth, the thirteenth, and the fourteenth. When the moon was full, on the 15th of the month, they said: It appears that Hakadosh Baruch Hu annulled the decree from upon us, and they then rendered it a holiday.
Rabbotai, why did each person in the wilderness need to dig their own grave, rather than relying on a group like the Chevra Kadisha, responsible for burials?
The Siftei Tzaddik suggests that, since Bnei Yisrael in the wilderness ate only the meat of Korbanot, it was challenging to find individuals willing to become ritually impure by handling the dead. When fifteen thousand died in a single day, the lack of willing buriers meant that, without pre-dug graves, bodies might remain unburied overnight, violating the commandment against such delay.
The question arises: Did Moshe Rabbeinu not know that the decree was annulled already when they awoke, all alive, on the 10th of Av? Why wait five days to reach that conclusion?!
The Ben Yehoyada explains that Moshe and the great leaders of Bnei Yisrael did not err or have any doubt. They knew the truth, but Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to confuse the people's minds so they would be uncertain about such a significant mistake. This uncertainty would only be clarified on the fifteenth of the month, allowing this day to be established as a day of joy and celebration. Surely, this day was meritorious for reasons known to Him, and thus it was destined for several good things mentioned by the Chazal.
Why the Great Celebration?
After understanding what happened on Tu B'Av, we can now ask: Why the great celebration? To explain, let's approach a very interesting point, stemming from the Midrash in Yalkut Shimoni (782), where it says:
הוּא לִתֵּן ְ ָדוֹשׁ בָּרוּך ֵּשׁ הַק ַּיִץ בִּק ּאֲמַר רַ בִּי לֵוִי בְּכָל חֹדֶ שׁ וְחֹדֶ שׁ שׁ ֶבַּק ָר נָתַן לָהֶם פֶּסַח קָטָן, ּלְיִשְׂרָאֵל מוֹעֵד, בְּנִיסָן נָתַן לָהֶם פֶּסַח, בְּאִי בְּסִיוָן נָתַן לָהֶם עֲצֶרֶ ת, בְּתַמּוּז הָיָה בְּדַעְתּוֹ לִתֵּן לָהֶם ָדוֹל ּמוֹעֵד ג וְעָשׂוּ הָעֵגֶל וּבָטַל תַּמּוּז וְאָב וֶאֱלוּל וּבָא תִשְׁרֵ י וּפָרַע לָהֶם רֹאשׁ הַ שׁ ּ ָ נָה וְ יוֹם הַ כִּ פּ וּרִ ים וְ הֶ חָ ג.
Rabbi Levi said: In every summer month, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to give Yisrael a festival. In Nissan, He gave them Pesach. In Iyar, He gave them Pesach Katan (Sheini). In Sivan, He gave them Atzeret (Shavuot). In Tammuz, He intended to give them a great festival – but they made the Golden Calf, and so Tammuz, Av, and Elul were nullified. Then came Tishrei, and He compensated them with Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot.
This means that Rosh Hashanah was supposed to be on the seventeenth of Tammuz of that year, and Yom Kippur on Tisha B'Av (and then Sukkot in Elul). The sefer Ze’ev Yitraf, by Rav Ze'ev Huberman zt"l, a Torah giant in America, brings forth a wonderful idea: We have five afflictions on Yom Kippur, and Chazal instituted these same afflictions also on Tisha B'Av. According to the words of the Abudraham, the most severe fast is Asara B’Tevet – the 10th of Tevet – which if it falls on Shabbat, we fast on Shabbat. The Abudraham writes that there is a distinction between the four fasts; the four fasts are sometimes postponed when they fall on Shabbat, except for Asara B’Tevet, which never falls on Shabbat. But it sometimes falls on Yom Shishi, and we indeed fast on that day, entering into Shabbat while fasting. This is because the words וֹם הַ זֶּה בְּ עֶ צֶם הַ י appear regarding Yom Kippur just as they appear regarding the 10th of Tevet (Yechezkel 24:2):
־בָּבֶל ְ מֶלֶך ְ וֹם הַזֶּה סָמַך וֹם אֶת־עֶצֶם הַי אֶת־שׁ ֵם הַי ָ בֶּן־אָדָם כְּתׇב־לְך אֶ ל־ יְרוּשׁ ָ לַיִם בְּ עֶ צֶם וֹם הַ י הַ זֶּה׃
Son of man, write for yourself the name of the day, this very day, the king of Bavel laid siege to Jerusalem on this very day.
If the fast of Asara B’Tevet is so severe, why don't we observe all five afflictions that are on Yom Kippur? Furthermore, why place the five afflictions on Tisha B'Av instead of on Asara B’Tevet? Ze’ev Yitraf answers simply: If Hakadosh Baruch Hu initially wanted the 9th of Av to be the day of Yom Kippur, then even after the schedule was changed, Chazal left the five afflictions of Yom Kippur and instituted them on Tisha B'Av!
So, according to the original plan, Tisha B'Av was supposed to be Yom Kippur, and the question arises: When was the first time Bnei Yisrael were informed they would have a day of atonement like Yom Kippur? When Moshe Rabbeinu descended with the second Luchot on the 10th of Tishrei, he informed them that this day would be established for generations as a day of atonement. And the proof? Chazal say in Tanna debei Eliyahu Zuta (4:1):
וּבְאַרְ בָּעִים יוֹם הָאַחֲרוֹנִים שׁ ֶעָלָה מֹשׁ ֶה לְהַר סִינַי לְהָבִיא אֶת ָם שׁ ֶהוּא סוֹף וֹם הָאַחֲרוֹן שׁ ֶבְּכֻל ָזְרוּ יוֹם צוֹם וְתַעֲנִית וּבַי הַתּוֹרָ ה ג ֹא יִשְׁלֹט בָּהֶם יצה ָזְרוּ תַּעֲנִית וְלָנוּ בְּתַעֲנִיתָם כְּדֵי שׁ ֶל אַרְ בָּעִים יוֹם ג"ר וּלְמָחֳרָתוֹ הִשְׁכִּימוּ וְעָלוּ לִפְנֵי הַר סִינַי יִשְׂרָאֵל הָיוּ בּוֹכִים לִקְ רַאת ָתָם לַמָּרוֹם. בְּאוֹתָהּ מֹשׁ ֶה וְהוּא הָיָה בּוֹכֶה לִקְ רָאתָם עַד שׁ ֶעָלְתָה בְּכִי ַלְג שׁ ָעָה נִתְגבָ תָ ם ֹדֶשׁ בְּשׂוֹרוֹת טוֹבוֹת וְנֶחָמוֹת וְאָמַר הקב"ה בְּשָׂרָ הּ אוֹתָם רוּחַ הַק ִי שׁ ֶתְּהֵא ִי וּבְכִסֵּא הַכָּבוֹד שׁ ֶל ָדוֹל שׁ ֶל לְיִשְׂרָאֵל בְּנִי נִשְׁבָּע אֲנִי בִּשְׁמִי הַג ְדוֹלָה וְיִהְיֶה לָכֶ לָכֶם בִּכְיָה זוֹ לְשָׂשׂוֹן וְלַשִּׂמְחָה גם יוֹם זֶה יוֹם סְלִיחָה וְכַפָּרָ ה וּמְחִילָה לָכֶם וְלִבְנֵיכֶם וְלִבְנֵי בְּנֵיכֶם עַד סוֹף כָּל הַדּוֹרוֹת.
And during the final forty days that Moshe ascended Har Sinai to bring down the Torah, they established days of fasting and affliction. On the last of all those days — the completion of the forty — they decreed a fast for themselves, so that the yetzer hara would not overpower them. The next morning, they rose early and gathered before Har Sinai. Bnei Yisrael were weeping as they awaited Moshe, and he was weeping as he approached them — until their collective crying ascended to the heavens. At that moment, the mercy of Hakadosh Baruch Hu was stirred upon Yisrael, and He accepted their repentance with favor. The Divine Spirit heralded them with good tidings and comfort, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu said: “My children, I swear by My great Name and by My Throne of Glory, that this weeping of yours shall be transformed into joy and great happiness, and this day shall be for you a day of forgiveness, atonement, and pardon – for you, your children, and your children’s children — until the end of all generations.”
The Sefat Emet says (Yom Kippur 5655), certainly it was through Aharon's power, when he participated with them in the sin of Cheit Ha’egel, that he brought them back in Teshuva, and therefore the atonement of the day was given into Aharon the Kohen Gadol’s hands.
Why Did the Women Dance on Yom Kippur?
Following these learnings, we must understand – why did the women go out and dance on Yom Kippur? The Sefat Emet presents a wonderful idea, but first, we must preface his words. Bnei Yisrael sinned with Cheit Ha’egel – a terrible and dreadful sin; after leaving Egypt, they made the calf and proclaimed: מֵ אֶ רֶ ץ מִ צְ רָ יִם ָ יִשְׂ רָ אֵ ל אֲ שׁ ֶ ר הֶ עֱלוּך ָ ֶה אֱ לֹהֶ יך ּ אֵ ל – These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up from the land of Egypt. The Seforno comments – when Aharon saw that they were rejoicing in the corruption they had done, he despaired that it could only be corrected in a way that they would return to their purity and be worthy of the Luchot. In other words, the severe sin here was that they were happy in the sin, and they were dancing around the golden calf. Indeed, they were in distress when they engaged in the matter, and for this, they were not held accountable. But why were they dancing and rejoicing around it?! This was the indictment!
Imagine a person who, chas v’shalom, has a critically ill family member at home, and he is in great distress as a result. A charlatan comes to him and proposes an idea:
"Listen, my mother was in the exact same situation. I have miracle drops that can get her back up on her feet like new!"
"Please tell me – what are these drops?!"
"They are special drops made from zucchinis grown on a detached bed of watermelons with lettuce on top – completely organic without any pesticides; you put three drops in the right nostril and another four drops in the left ear — and the person is like new, after a week they come back to life! For you, a thousand dollars instead of two thousand!"
What person in distress wouldn't buy such a miraculous remedy?! A person in distress does, and buys, anything they are told will help!
Imagine a person boarding a flight to the USA, and after two hours in the air, they hear the steward announce: "Attention passengers, if there are any pilots among you, please come to the cockpit immediately!" Someone approaches the steward and asks: "Tell me, why do we need pilots? Is everything okay?" Stuttering in fear, the steward responds: “N-n-nothing h-h-happened — a-a-all is j-j-just f-f-fine." From the tone and quivering lip s, you understand that everything is really super fine. After a brief inquiry, it turns out that the pilot and his co-pilot were poisoned, and now there are 9 hours left in the flight! What does a person do in such a situation? They can say viduy or simply write a will and put it in a bottle – maybe when the plane falls into the sea, someone will find the bottle and send it to the family by express mail – just don't forget to include the Swiss bank account number.
What happens if at that same moment someone jumps up and declares: "Ladies and gentlemen! If you bring me 10 pounds of gold, I can create something automatic that will land this plane safely!" You ask them, "How do you know how to do that?!" The confident individual responds, "I once studied aeronautics on how to make a co-pilot out of raw gold without a pilot!" Who wouldn't give him what he asks for?! Anyway, they have nothing to lose – what does it matter if the gold goes to the sharks or to that person?!
Can one judge a person acting out of distress? No, as seen in the Golden Calf incident, where the people’s actions were driven by fear, not deliberate rebellion. The eirev rav came and pressured the people, "Ladies and gentlemen! Tomorrow there is no manna! Moshe Rabbeinu is gone!" What does a person with 250 children do when told there will be no food tomorrow?! They’ll do whatever they’re told. So, the eirev rav suggested making a golden calf, and out of pressure, the people agreed — but that was not the indictment against them. Rather, it was the desecration of G-d's name that occurred there: “How can you dance around the calf?!”
The Sefat Emet writes in his collection for Tu B'Av: Why do the women dance in the vineyards? And why was Tu B'Av a day of celebration like Yom Kippur? It seems that these two were the greatest sins of Bnei Yisrael: the sin of the Golden Calf, which was a rebellion against the Luchot and Torah, and the sin of the Spies, which was a rebellion against Eretz Yisrael. These two sins – Cheit Ha’egel and Cheit HaMeraglim – have continued to affect us throughout our times of exile. On Yom Kippur, the main sin of the Golden Calf was forgiven, and on Tu B'Av, the sin of the Spies was forgiven when the generation of the wilderness ceased to die. Therefore, the joy of Yom Kippur remains even now, as we have only this Torah left, while the joy of Tu B'Av was only during the time of the Beit Hamikdash, and that joy has turned to mourning. This may explain why the women danced on Tu B’Av: unlike the men, they did not participate in the sins of the Golden Calf or the Spies, refusing to contribute their jewelry to the calf, as noted in the Midrash.
From his words, it seems that just as Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness and atonement, so too is Tu B'Av a day of forgiveness for the sin of the Spies! And this is the connection between Tu B'Av and Yom Kippur.
If so, this is why the Mishnah tells us בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ זֶה מַתַּן תּ וֹרָ ה and וּבְיוֹם שִׂמְחַת לִבּוֹ זֶה בִּנְיַן בֵּית הַמִּקְ דָּשׁ . What does the building of the Beit Hamikdash have to do with this? I think the answer is very simple; the Gemara (Ta'anit 29a) states that Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to the people: “You wept needlessly that night, and I will therefore establish for you a true tragedy over which there will be weeping in future generations.” The crying for generations was because of the sin of the Spies; if we said that on Tu B'Av the sin of the Spies began to be forgiven, then this is in essence the beginning of the building of the Beit Hamikdash. Why? Because the entire destruction of the Mikdash was due to that crying on the night of Tisha B'Av, and if now they have repented and fifteen thousand did not die, it implies that the sin began to be atoned for, and thus this is the launch of the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash.
We should know that according to the commentators, the Yamim Nora’im (Days of Awe) begin from Tu B'Av and not from Rosh Chodesh Elul. Why is that? There are people who customarily fast for 40 days before Yom Kippur, and the only way to achieve that without fasting on Shabbat and holidays, is to start from Tu B'Av, leaving exactly 40 days on which one may fast!
The Gemara (Berachot 61a) says: A person should always walk behind a lion [which is the month of Av, whose sign is Leo] and not behind a woman [whose month is Elul, whose sign is Virgo]. Sefer Shaar Yissachar writes, this is the reason for the custom that from the fifteenth of Av and onward, people bless each other with a כְּתִיבָה וְחֲתִימָה טוֹבָה, a good inscription and sealing, because חמש"ה עש"ר בא"ב equals the numerical value of כתיב"ה וחתימ"ה טוב"ה.
The Torah says in Parshat Nitzavim:
ְכֶם לִפְנֵי ה' אֱ וֹם כֻּל ָבִים הַי אַתֶּם נִצ-לֹהֵיכֶם רָאשׁ ֵיכֶם שִׁבְטֵיכֶם אֲשׁ ֶר בְּקֶרֶ ב ָ זִקְנֵיכֶם וְשׁ ֹטְרֵ יכֶם כֹּל אִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל: טַפְּכֶם נְשׁ ֵיכֶם וְגֵרְ ך ָ עַד שׁ ֹאֵב מֵימֶיך ָ מֵחֹטֵב עֵצֶיך ָמַחֲנֶיך:
You stand, this day all of you before Hashem, your G-d; your tribal chieftains, your elders and your law officers, every man of Yisrael.
In these Pesukim, Chazal find a hint to יְמֵ י הַ דִּ ין וְ הָ רַ חֲ מִ ים – the Days of Judgment and Mercy. They begin on Tu B'Av, when they stop cutting wood for the altar – ָמֵ חֹטֵ ב עֵ צֶ יך – and go until ָעַ ד שׁ ֹאֵ ב מֵ ימֶ יך – the last day of the Water Drawing Festival, the day of Hoshana Rabbah. If so, we have learned that Tu B'Av is the beginning of the atonement for Cheit HeMeraglim, and therefore the daughters of Israel, who did not sin in that sin, go out and dance on that day.
The Building of the Third Beit Hamikdash
With all this, I would like to open with a wonderful idea originating from the words of the Bnei Yissaschar, in three places (Tishrei 4, Cheshvan 1, and Kislev 12). There, he introduces an amazing chiddush and says that the building of the Third Beit Hamikdash, which we all await, will be in the month of Cheshvan. Every day of Chanukah, we read the offerings of the Nesi’im. On the first day, Nachshon ben Aminadav, etc., one by one until the eighth day of Chanukah. But we do not stop there. On the eighth day, we read four more Nesi’im, from the ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth day of the Mishkan’s dedication. And then a summary of all the offerings together. And we don’t stop there either. After finishing this Parsha, we add four more Pesukim form the next one, related to the commandment given to Aharon to kindle the Menorah.
The question arises: what is this day called Zot Chanukah – the eighth day of Chanukah – when we read the summary of all the days and then also read about the Menorah? What is hidden in this day?
The Bnei Yissachar says: Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave the month of Kislev the days of Chanukah because the Mishkan was completed in that month but was not inaugurated until Nissan. Hakadosh Baruch Hu paid Kislev back in the days of the Chashmonaim, and these days of Chanukah are the initiation and preparation for the final redemption when the hidden light will shine completely as in the six days of Ceation in the Mikdash that will be built speedily in our days; and its inauguration will be in Cheshvan.
