What has four letters, sometimes has nine, and never has five .
Moishe Miller was lonely and wanted a pet. But not just any pet – he wanted one that was different. So he went to Al’s pet store and told Al he wanted a different kind of pet. After some discussion, Moishe bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. Moishe took the box home. He found a good place to put it and decided he would immediately take his new pet to the local bar to show it off. He asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to the bar and have a l’chaim with me?"
But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Moishe a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked his pet again, "How about going to the bar for a l’chaim with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So Moishe waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, you in there! Would you like to go to the bar and have a l’chaim with me?"
A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."
David and Michael Altman, two young brothers, were spending the night at their grandparents’ house. At bedtime, the two boys recited the evening prayers before going to sleep. David, the youngest brother began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A BICYCLE...I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...I PRAY FOR A NEW LAPTOP..."
David’s older brother Michael leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Bubbie is!"
