The Meaning of the Nechamah - a lesson from my (non-Jewish) dentist!
We begin this week’s moving haftara with the famous words, “Nachamu nachamu ami”. Hashem, our Father who destroyed the Beis Hamikdash and who sent us away into an endless bitter galus, is now saying to us, “Nachamu nachamu ami”.
These words should make us cry, not tears of sadness, but of deep emotion, of recognition that no matter how far away we seem to be, Hashem is our father and is looking to console us.
We have just completed three weeks of mourning over the churban Beis Hamikdash, and are beginning a period known as “Shiva d’Nechemta - the seven weeks of consolation”. This seems paradoxical: if the entire mourning period only comprised three weeks, why do we need seven weeks for nechama? It also seems extraordinary that deep into Elul, approaching Rosh Hashanah, rather than reading a haftara that discusses teshuva, malchus, and Rosh Hashanah, we continue to read the chapters of nechama! There must be a deeper meaning to this custom.
Moreover, it is difficult to see how we can be consoled at all. Has the Beis Hamikdash been rebuilt? Have we been redeemed from this bitter galus? Do we even see an end in sight? Have we been told when it will end? In fact, we are even said to begin the nechama on Tisha b’Av itself, at chatzos, the moment when the Beis Hamikdash went up in flames! Where is the nechama in all of this?
A Lesson From My Dentist!
I noticed that a piece of my tooth had broken. It was not painful but nevertheless warranted an urgent visit to my dentist. After a few phone calls with the aim of attaining an emergency appointment, I was sitting on the dentist’s chair with the dentist poking around my mouth.
He asked me if I was in pain. I responded that I was not. “Not at all?” he asked. “Nothing”, I replied. “What about when you drink something cold?” “Also not.” “Ok, no anaesthetic required.” He took out his tools and began drilling, sanding, and other assorted “construction” work. Towards the end as he drilled deeply in my tooth I suddenly felt excruciating pain and cried out. “Did that hurt?” asked the dentist. This time I answered in the affirmative. But his response surprised me. “Great”, he said. I was shocked. Was he in this job to heal people or to inflict pain upon them?
The dentist explained himself. If it is not painful, if it doesn't hurt, it means that the nerve has no feeling and the tooth is dead. Only a tooth that is alive has feeling and will therefore cause pain. The fact that you felt the pain means that the tooth and root are well and alive. At that moment I felt that I had a deeper understanding of Shabbos Nachamu.
How Long Until the Weeping?
There is a little-known passage in the Yerushalmi (Ta’anis 4:5) which relates that when R’ Yehuda haNasi would speak about Eichah he would offer twenty-four explanations of the words, “Hashem consumed us without pity, all the dwelling of Ya’akov”. R’ Yehuda’s listeners would weep and then be comforted. When R’ Yochanan would speak about Eichah he would explain the exact same words in sixty different ways. His listeners would also weep and be comforted.
The Yerushalmi asks: How is it that R’ Yochanan, who lived a generation after R’ Yehuda haNasi - a longer time after the churban - would have more explanations of Eichah that mourns it?
The Yerushalmi answers that in the times of R’ Yehudah haNasi, there were people alive who witnessed the churban and whose memory was still fresh. After twenty-four explanations of Eichah they would be weeping so much that he had to stop. In the time of R’ Yochanan, however, the memory was already more faint; it took sixty explanations to arouse the people to cry to the same extent.
This Yerushalmi gives us an astounding insight into the connection between avelus and nechama. Even if you live long after the churban, if you delve deep enough into avelus, you will reach a stage of uncontrollable crying. But when you reach this stage you will also be comforted. Why? Because if it hurts, it shows you're not dead! The root is still alive! You are connected to Hashem. This is the greatest nechama.
לע“נ ר‘ חיים נתן בן מורינו הרב שלמה ז“ל
An Embassy of Shomayim
Let us explain this more deeply.
We are all familiar with Plato’s encounter with Yirmiyahu haNavi. Plato asked the sobbing Yirmiyahu why he was crying over a material building, and also why he was crying over an event that had taken place in the past. Yirmiahu answered Plato’s first question by explaining that the Beis Hamikdash was more than just a material building. However, he told him that a non-Jew would be unable to grasp the reason for weeping over something that had taken place in the past. In the following paragraphs we will explore this idea.
We live in a mundane world, far away and disconnected from Hashem in shamayim. So how do we connect to Him? Essentially, we do so through the vehicle of the Beis Hamikdash (aside from the vehicle of Shabbos as well as talmidey chachamim who are a bechinah of the Beis Hamikdash). The Beis Hamikdash was a so-called “embassy” of shamayim in this world, to which Hashem would descend and in which He would dwell. Three times a year, every member of Klal Yisrael would ascend to the Beis Hamikdash to meet and connect to Hashem. In the Beis Hamikdash there were nissim, just like in shamayim, and a Yid who needed a kaparah, wanted to show gratitude, or just bring a korban to Hashem, had a place in which to do so. This was not just a physical structure, it was a place of deep connection.
This is what Yirmiyah could not explain to Plato. The Beis Hamikdash was more than just a physical skeleton; it was the essence of connection to Hashem. If a person loses a connection, lets it go, and no longer mourns for it, the connection is indeed no more. If a child loses his father, and, as he grows up, forgets about him, there is indeed no longer a connection. However, if he continues to cry for his father and yearning to see him, then while his father’s body is indeed no longer, the connection to him is still there. In fact, it may even be stronger and deeper than when he was alive.
Yirmiyah’s cries were not over history, they were holding on to a connection with the Beis Hamikdash and Hashem. The more he cried, the more connected he was. The more painful it was, the more he saw how alive the root of Klal Yisrael was.
Do not Wipe the Tear!
This constitutes the greatest nechama. Chazal state: “Kol ha’misabel al Yerushalyim zocheh v’roeh b’nechemasa”, anyone who mourns over Yerushalayim merits to see the nechama, not only in the future, but already now. How so? By means of the weeping and the pain which are an indication of life and an upholding of the connection.
The second pasuk in Eichah states: “Bacho sivkeh ba’layla, v’dimasa al lecheyah - She cries at night, her tears are on her cheek.” Why are the tears still “on her cheek” - why have they not dried? The answer can be found in the following words of the pasuk. “Ein la menachem mi’kol ohaveha, kol ro’eha bagdu vah, hayu lah l’oyvim” - she has no one to console her; even her friends have turned against her. For the loss of Yerushalayim we are inconsolable. No one can, or is willing to, comfort us; that which remains are the tears on our cheeks, tears that are not wiped away, tears which are themselves a nechama for they indicate that the deep connection to Hashem remains alive.
We now understand how even within the galus, and before the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash, we can feel the nechama. The crying itself is the nechama and in fact, the tears help form the very bricks that build the third Beis Hamikdash. We can even achieve this on Tisha b'Av itself.
The Upcoming Weeks
As we have explained on previous occasions, every complete item or process is made up of ten parts (such as the seder plate, the ma’amarim with which the world was created, and so forth). The ten parts are divided into seven (as in the days of the week) and three. The three represent the root and the seven, the completion. The three weeks of avelus, were a period of crying and mourning, of reviving our deep connection with Hashem. The shiva d’nechemta are the days of realising and enjoying our special relationship and connection with Hashem.
It is therefore not difficult to understand why we focus on the nechama even during Elul. Teshuva means returning to Hashem. Tisha b'Av comes before Elul to ensure that we arrive connected and with an ability to return to Hashem. We can only repent if we feel connected and in a relationship.
The coming weeks, while weeks of vacation, are also a period in which we can show our love of and connection to Hashem, as the Gedolim stress. Let us use these special weeks of nechama, of renewed connection and relationship with Hashem to the maximum. As we say the words “Nachamu nachamu ami”, let us feel the embrace of Hashem, consolation, and connection. And may we continue with this newfound connection for seven weeks all the way into Elul and the ultimate nechama, b’karov.
