Let’s try to explain. There is Mishnah (Avot 5:20) that says:
יְהוּדָה בֶן תֵּימָא אוֹמֵר, הֱוֵי עַז כַּנָּמֵר, וְקַל כַּנֶּשֶׁר, וְרָץ כַּצְּבִי, וְגִבּוֹר כָּאֲרִי, לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹן אָבִיךָ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמָיִם. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עַז פָּנִים לְגֵיהִנֹּם, וּבֹשֶׁת פָּנִים לְגַן עֵדֶן.
Judah ben Tema said: Be strong (brazen) as a leopard, swift as an eagle, fleet as a gazelle, and brave as a lion, to do the will of your Father in heaven. He said: the arrogant is headed for Gehenom and the shamefaced for Gan Eden.
הֱוֵי עַז כַּנָּמֵר – Are we really being asked to be עַז –brazen and chuzpan? This is contrary to the first of the three good qualities found in the hands of our people according to the Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 3:4): בַּיְשָׁנִים וְרַחֲמָנִים וְגוֹמְלֵי חֲסָדִים – we are bashful, merciful, and bestow kindness. The Mishna itself points out this contradiction at its end! How are we supposed to be both brazen like leopards and bashful?
The Tur, in Arba Turim, opens the section of Orach Chaim by quoting this Mishna, and says its author began with “strong (brazen) as a leopard” because it is an important principle in our Avodat Hashem. Sometimes a person desires to perform a mitzvah but is prevented from performing it because of people who mock him. Therefore, the Mishna cautions that we should have fortitude against the mockers and not refrain from performing the mitzvah. And the same is true when it comes to not performing a sin. Don’t be embarrassed. When someone asks you a question during Chazarat HaShatz (Reader’s Repetition), don’t be afraid to signal that you’ll answer later. If we are not meant to talk at that juncture, no shame will be felt in upholding the rule.
I have a friend who works in the high-tech sector, and he is the only religious one in his company. He says he does not wash his hands the entire day. When they all go down at 1:30 for lunch, he stays at his desk, puts in his earphones, and listens to Daf Yomi. I asked why he didn’t go down to eat, and he pointed to the hassle there would be in finding a sink, a proper cup to wash with, and a towel. And then Birkat Hamazon too! He feared that his peers would mock him. I told him he was dead wrong. He needs to lead by example, proud, and unfearful. He’ll see that no shame results.
I was in a store during the middle of the day, and it seemed as though 200 people were lined up to pay. The line was not moving. Suddenly, it was prayer time, and a Muslim man nearby pulled out his rug, laid it out right where he stood, and proceeded to do his thing. He didn’t think twice about it. He wasn’t embarrassed in front of anyone. Why can we not learn from that, l’havdil bein hakodesh u’vein ha’chol. Be proud! That is what the Mishna is teaching us, according to the Tur.
If someone approaches you to tell a great juicy story about someone else, do not be embarrassed to show the palm of your hand and say, “No thanks.” The Tur says, the Avot are the best examples of this pride. Avraham stood alone on the other side of the river. Yaacov lived in a house filled with idols but was not influenced an iota. Our Avot had no shame in their Avodat Hashem. The Torah can also serve as our עַז, our strength to be brazen in the face of mockery and challenge: לְעַמּוֹ יִתֵּן עֹז ה'.
The Tur adds that David HaMelech exemplified this strength, as it says: וַאֲדַבְּרָה בְעֵדֹתֶיךָ נֶגֶד מְלָכִים וְלֹא אֵבוֹשׁ – I will speak of your decrees in the presence of kings and not be ashamed.
