Humor
Miracle at the Red Sea
One day, little Jacob is praying to God, when Arthur, the town "grouch," passes by.
"Why in the world are you praying?" asks Arthur. "You're wasting your time."
"God forbid!" says Jacob. "I'm praying to the Almighty God, who has performed wonders and miracles like leading the Jewish people out of Egypt and helping them cross the Red Sea."
Arthur scoffs and says, "Please, you think that really happened? I read that the Red Sea was only about 10 inches deep when the Hebrews left Egypt, so there was no miracle at all!"
Arthur walks towards the bus stop, but looks back and sees Jacob still praying. He can't resist so he turns back and asks Jacob, "Why are you still praying? I told you that God didn't perform any miracles in Egypt!"
"Oh no," says Jacob, "the Almighty God is greater than I thought. How miraculous that he was able to drown an army of Egyptians in only 10 inches of water!"
The Riddle from Chelm
A simple Jew from the infamous city of Chelm visits Warsaw. He meets the shamash of the shul and the shamash asks him a riddle: Who is my father's son, but he's not my brother? The simple Jew thinks and thinks, finally gives up and asks: Who is it?
The answer is simple: "Me."
"That is great," he thought! When he returns to Chelm he gathers his friends and family and challenges them with the riddle. Who is my father's son, but isn't my brother? They give up. "It is the shamash of Warsaw!" he proclaims grinning at the brilliance.
The Rabbi's Box
A Rabbi and his wife were cleaning up the house. The Rabbi came across a box he didn't recognize. His wife told him to leave it alone, it was personal. One day she was out and his curiosity got the best of him. He opened the box, and inside he found three eggs and $2000. When his wife came home, he admitted that he opened the box, and he asked her to explain the contents to him. She told him that every time he had a bad sermon, she would put an egg in the box...
He interrupted, "In 20 years, only three bad sermons? That's not bad."
His wife continued... "and every time I got a dozen eggs, I would sell them for $1."
Reasonable Doubt
Jack Feinstein was a top defense attorney known for coming up with creative defenses for his clients. But on this day, Feinstein had an uphill battle. His client was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. So In his closing statement, knowing that his client would probably get convicted, Feinstein came up with a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," Feinstein said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally Feinstein said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired Feinstein. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we looked, but your client didn't."
