Parshas Vayakhel opens with Moshe Rabbeinu gathering Bnei Yisrael together and introducing the donations that would be required for the building of the Mishkan. A few pesukim later, Moshe Rabbeinu again addresses the entire nation with the words: “This is what Hashem has commanded to say...” Rashi comments, “Li leimor lachem,” this is what Hashem commanded me, to say to you.
The Medrash explains that after the episode of the egel hazahav, the golden calf that Bnei Yisrael contributed to, the Yidden were despondent and desperate to find some way to atone. And yet, what could possibly atone for such a grave sin? But Hashem had foreseen that they would sin, and had created an opening for Moshe Rabbeinu to plead for them — and this is what is being referred to now.
Moshe Rabbeinu told Bnei Yisrael: Yes, you sinned, but you only made that mistake because the first of the Aseres Hadibros — the Ten Commandments — was given in the singular form: “I am Hashem your G-d, you [singular] shall not have other gods...” Although Hashem was referring to the entire nation, you understood it as referring only to me. Therefore, now Hashem is commanding me to tell you of a way to achieve atonement, by contributing to the Mishkan.
Throughout the Torah we find Moshe Rabbeinu trying to put the Yidden in the best possible light and interpret their actions in the best possible way — to the extent that he asked Hashem to “delete me from Your book” if Klal Yisrael could not be saved. Of course Moshe also rebuked Klal Yisrael many times, but it was always with understanding and great effort to rectify the situation.
We must learn to apply this in our own relationships — with our spouses, children, and others. Even when a rebuke has to be given, it should be accompanied with understanding, caring, and a genuine attempt to make things better.
Some people mistakenly believe that between a husband and wife, there is no place for rebuke of any kind (as the well-known phrase about a wife not being her husband’s mashgiach illustrates). Should a husband or wife really not care about the level of ruchniyus of their spouse? Are neither of them ever allowed to mention anything unpleasant? Clearly the real question is how to address problems that arise — which should not be ignored.
Hashem created people in such a way that we care about each other, and within marriage, each spouse has a responsibility to the other when it comes to both ruchniyus and gashmiyus. One of the things we can learn from Moshe Rabbeinu is how to fulfill that responsibility in the best possible way.
