In the 1980s, one of the most esteemed bochurim in the Mir yeshiva in Yerusholayim got engaged to the daughter of a very wealthy man. Some of the other bochurim in the yeshiva cast aspersions on the match, suggesting that the chosan had “sold himself” by pursuing a spouse based on financial considerations instead of seeking to marry the daughter of a respected talmid chocham, as they believed would have been more appropriate for somebody of his caliber.
The rumors eventually reached the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Nochum Partzovitz. At one of the Sheva Berachos, Rav Nochum got up to speak in honor of the simcha. He began by quoting the Mishnah (Avos 6:4) that says the way of Torah is to eat bread with salt, drink water in small measure, sleep on the ground, live a life of deprivation, and toil in Torah study. The Mishnah promises that one who does so will be praiseworthy in this world, and all will be good for him in the World to Come.
Rav Nochum commented that people incorrectly think that the approach outlined by the Mishnah is a necessary prerequisite to success in Torah study, and that a person who is unwilling to endure physical discomfort will be unable to grow in his Torah knowledge. However, this cannot be the case, as Rav Yehuda HaNasi, the redactor of the Mishnah, was incredibly wealthy and lived a life of tremendous luxury, as did many other great Rabbis throughout the generations. Despite the fact that they did not adhere to the prescription of the Mishnah, they still attained great heights in their Torah knowledge.
When Yaakov blessed each of his sons at the end of his life, the blessing he gave to Yissochar, whose descendants are known for their dedication to Torah study, was: ויט שכמו לסבול - he bent his shoulders to carry a burden, which Rashi explains as a reference to the yoke of Torah study. Rav Nochum pointed out that Yaakov did not say ויסבול - he carried a burden – but rather that he bent his shoulders to demonstrate his commitment that if life presented him with many challenges, he was prepared to persist with his Torah learning without being distracted. In the event that life circumstances do not present him with the difficulties experienced by others, this in no way detracts from his ability to succeed in his learning.
Rav Nochum concluded by proclaiming that the chosan had spent his entire time in yeshiva engrossed in Torah learning, fully prepared to carry whatever burdens he may be presented with and never once seeking out physical luxuries. Precisely because he was so devoted to Torah, Hashem arranged for him to marry the daughter of a wealthy man who respects talmiday chachomim and is prepared to provide him with his physical needs. Not only does this arrangement in no way detract from the chosan’s commitment to Torah, but just the opposite, the Gemara teaches (Megillah 28b) that properly understanding the Torah requires a clear head, and being freed from potentially distracting concerns about providing for his family is actually beneficial in this regard.
After hearing this insight from the Rosh Yeshiva, none of the other bochurim ever dared to again question the chosan’s motives or dedication to Torah learning.
