There Is No Reason to Be Upset
Some people are so foolish that they are seriously pained by another person’s good fortune, so much so that they cannot enjoy the good that they have. This is what the wisest of men meant when he said, “...and jealousy rots a person’s bones.” There are others who are not so deeply pained or concerned, but they do feel some twinge of pain. Their mood will be dampened when they see someone else enjoying success, unless it is one of their most beloved friends; and it will bother them even more if they do not feel any particular affinity for him, and especially if he is a foreigner. They might speak as though they’re happy for him, but in their hearts they begrudge his good fortune. This is something that can happen to most people, because even though they are not truly jealous people, they have not cleansed themselves completely of jealousy. Moreover, they will be envious of the success of someone who works in the same profession as they do, for every skilled craftsman hates those who work in the same field as he does, and even more so if the other is more successful than he is.
These people don’t know and understand that no one can touch, even slightly, that which is decreed for someone else, and everything comes from Hashem, through His incredible, unfathomable wisdom, and so there is no reason to feel upset because of the good fortune of anyone else.
(Mesillas Yesharim, ch. 11)
No One Can Touch That Which Belongs to Someone Else
No one should worry that someone else will take away his parnassah. Ben Azai said: They will call your name to receive what is yours, and they will seat you in the place that is meant for you, and they will give you your portion.
Whatever others might give you was never meant to be theirs; it was always meant to be yours. It is what was decreed in Shamayim to become yours. No one can touch the parnassah that is decreed to belong to someone else. Whatever is decreed for a person from Shamayim, no one can take from him.
(Based on Maseches Yoma 38)
There Is No Greater Middah than This
Ben Azai said, based on this, that if a person wants to be loyal and to trust in Hashem, then these words should be always on his mind: A tzaddik lives through his emunah. My sons, this middah should be drilled into you and strongly internalized, for there is no greater middah than this.
(Oros Eilim, by the Baal Peleh Yo’etz)
They Don’t Even Touch
The fact that it says that another person “cannot touch,” rather than “cannot take,” can be explained through the following story: There was a box filled with precious gems, which was buried underground. Every summer, people would come to these grounds to enjoy the cool air and pitch their tents in close proximity to the box, with only a small space between their tents and the box. They did this year after year. Once, a person came to pitch his tent there, and he pitched it exactly where the box was hidden. He felt something hard and took it.
This is what it means when it says that another person “cannot touch” – all those who came before him did not even touch the place where the box was, because it was prepared for him.
(As explained by Ben Yehoyada)
To Refrain from Speaking Lashon Hara
A person should constantly strengthen himself in bitachon, because aside from the fact that this is a holy middah and vital for avodas Hashem, it is also very necessary for shemiras halashon.... Sometimes a person is very upset at his friend, and his yetzer instigates him to go and publicize that this friend is a bad person because of something that in his opinion affected his business or diminished his honor. It is very difficult to overcome the yetzer in this matter. But when a person intellectually processes what Chazal say – that no one can touch even a tiny bit of what was decreed to belong to someone else, and every person will get that which has been decreed for him from Shamayim, both regarding kavod and regarding parnassah... then his yetzer will leave him alone.
(Chafetz Chaim, Shemiras Halashon ch. 9)
