QUESTION:
There is a new trend happening at the Shabbos meals of an Aufruf (at the meals eaten together with friends and family on the Shabbos before the groom is to be married). A friend of the groom will speak, and in an extremely laudatory “over-the-top” manner, tell a story of the groom’s extreme kindness, generosity, etc. and then issue a retraction statement at the end where he admits that the story was made up, “...but they don’t say such stories about you and me.” Even though the stories are manufactured, it still manages to add additional appreciation for the groom’s character and introduces a touch of harmless levity into the atmosphere as well.
Recently, after such a story was told, things took an unexpected turn. A story such as the following was relayed: “Shloimy (the groom) has such a good heart, that once, he was driving during the pouring rain, and he saw an older woman with a shopping cart. He stopped his car and had her sit in his warm car, while he carefully put her bags in his trunk and folded up her shopping cart. He then drove her home and brought up the packages himself so that she would not slip. Further, the elevator was broken so he carried the packages up two flights of stairs.” While the story was being told, the parents of the groom were so emotional about the story that they cried tears of gratitude and joy for the good fortune of having such a son. Noticing the emotional response of the parents, the speaker could not bring himself to end the story with the traditional retraction that the story was fabricated.
ANSWER:
This would be a situation of “Muttar Leshanos Mipnei HaShalom” – one is permitted to lie to keep the peace or to avoid hurting another’s feelings. Therefore, the speaker would not need to mention the retraction. However, the speaker should not have told the untrue story to begin with. The reaction of the parents is not unforeseeable, and their reaction should have been anticipated. Now that the speaker has learned his lesson, he should not tell such false stories again. This trend at Aufrufs is the needless cause of Sheker (falsehood) and should be discontinued. Further, even though as discussed, issuing a retraction is not necessary, if he later has the opportunity to issue the retraction and the parents are the type of people that would not be upset by the realization that the story was fabricated, then he should do so.
