What did the ghost say on Jan. 1? Happy Boo Year!
Hey Meir smarty pants, Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.
What did Adam say to Eve on Dec. 31? It’s New Year’s, Eve.
Why did Mark R stand on one leg at midnight on New Year’s? He wanted to start the year on the right foot.
Why did Mark P put his calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.
A guy walks into a resort in the Catskills for the first time–one of those famous Borscht Belt places. Some of the old time comics are sitting around telling jokes. One of them says, “seventeen” and everyone roars with laughter. Another one of them says, “thirty-two” and again, they all laugh and holler. Well, the new guy can’t figure out what’s going on, so he asks one of the locals next to him, “What’re these old-timers doing?” The local says, “Well, they’ve been hanging around together so long they all know all the same jokes, so to save time they’ve given all the jokes numbers.” The new fellow says “That’s clever! I think I’ll try that.” He stands up and says in a loud voice, “Nineteen!” Silence. Everybody just looks at him, but nobody laughs. Embarrassed, he sits down again, and asks the local fellow, “What happened? Why didn’t anyone laugh?” “It’s all in the delivery.”
