What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette
What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream? “I’d like a soft serve, please!”
Moshe and Leah go out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, Leah notices a tear in Moshe’s eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. “No,” Moshe replies. “I was thinking about the time before we got engaged. Your father threatened me and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you. Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!”
Marvin Blackstein – the big boss at his company – was complaining in the staff meeting that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
A man goes to seek counsel from his Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” “What’s wrong?” Asked the Rabbi “I think my wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” “I’m telling you Rabbi, I’m certain she’s poisoning me! What should I do?” The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.” A week later the Rabbi calls him and says, “Well, I have spoken to your wife – I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?” Anxiously he responds, “Yes.” “Take the poison,” says the Rabbi.
