Question: What can the Rav say towards my son who is feeling very down about not getting in to the Yeshivos he was hoping for, even though he is a good Bachur.
Answer: There is a mentality in people’s minds to live without Nisyonos, and you should know that it’s not healthy. People like that everything should go their way, even in Ruchaniyus. People don’t appreciate Nisyonos, and that’s why they suffer. People were created for challenges. It’s supposed to be that way. It’s not a “problem” to “deal with”, it’s supposed to be bumpy; that’s how we Shteig. If someone doesn’t have Nisyonos, he isn’t normal.
Yaakov Avinu was learning in Yeshivas Shem V’Ever, but Hashem didn’t want him to stay there without any challenges. He had to go live with a Lavan, a nasty crook, and that’s how he became great; the whole Klal Yisrael came from that. It was all thanks to Lavan. Nisyonos are worth more than anything. People look at Mussar as if: “We wish we didn’t have problems, and then we wouldn’t need Mussar; but now that we have problems, now we need Mussar”. But it’s not true. Mussar is so valuable by itself. We have to cherish our challenges. The Sefer HaYashar says that this world is “N’vei HaTela’os” a place of difficulties, so don’t be Nis'pael from “problems”. Yaakov wanted Rachel, but it didn’t go as he wanted, and instead Lavan gave him Leah. By the way, it was Hashem’s doing. Out of Leah came Kehuna and Le'viya, Moshe Rabeinu, and David HaMelech! Klal Yisrael is built on an “unwanted” spouse!
We aren’t in charge; we are just puppets. We have to focus on the positive, and thank Hashem that we aren’t cockroaches! No one thinks like that, and that’s why it’s so difficult when something doesn’t go our way. Sedom had everything their way, their life was a paradise: 'הן ג כ and that’s why they were so wicked until they became animals. MAKE LIGHT OF YOUR CHALLENGE, AND SAY: “IT WILL WORK, EVEN IF IT’S NOT MY WAY”.
