וישאו אתו בניו ארצה כנען ויקברו אתו במערת שדה המכפלה אשר קנה אברהם את השדה לאחזת קבר מאת עפרון החתי על פני ממרא
“And his sons carried him to the Land of Canaan, and they buried him in the cave of the Machpeilah field, the field that Avraham bought as a holding for a grave.” (Bereishis 50:13)
We all know that that the passage of time can change the way we feel about things. The first day on the job can be tremulous and stressful; we may think that we cannot cope with the new situation. The wise words, “Just wait it out; you will get used to it,” can help us realize that we just need time to acclimate. Often, if we stick it out and let ourselves adjust, what was at first stressful and frustrating can become challenging and exciting.
But there is a negative side to this. Just as I can become accustomed to something that is in my best interests, I can get used to things that are wrong or unacceptable. Being exposed to something negative can foster an acceptance, even if the exposure was for a short time. Consequently, in place of revulsion there is acclimation The burial of Yaakov introduces us to such a situation.
The Gemara in Sotah (13a) records that Eisav attempted to prevent the burial of Yaakov in Me’aras HaMachpeilah. Me’aras HaMachpeilah is known as the Cave of Doubles because of the four couples who are buried there: Adam and Chavah, Avraham and Sarah, Yitzchak and Rivkah, and Yaakov and Leah. However, Eisav felt that the last two plots should have been for him and Yaakov. Eisav claimed that since Yaakov had already used his slot for Leah, the last slot should go to him. The shevotim said to him, “You sold your plot when you sold the bechorah.” Eisav replied that he had sold the birthright, but not his right as an heir. The shevotim responded that Yaakov had told them that Eisav had sold his right to burial in Me’aras HaMachpeilah along with the bechorah. When Eisav demanded that they show him the contract as proof of the sale, Naphtoli, who was swift as a hind (Bereishis 49:21), ran back to Egypt to retrieve the deed.
Among those present was Chushim, the son of Dan, who was hard of hearing. He asked the family, “What is happening?” And he was told that Eisav was preventing the burial, and they could not proceed until Naphtoli returned from Egypt. Chushim responded, “Is my grandfather to lie there in contempt until Naphtoli returns from the land of Egypt?” He took a club and struck Eisav on the head so that his eyes fell out and rolled to the feet of Yaakov.
Why was Chushim ben Dan the only one who was bothered by the situation? Were the other children and grandchildren not sensitive to the fact that Yaakov was lying in disgrace?
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz (Sichos Mussar, Nitzavim 5731) explains that this is an instance of the gradual acceptance that the passage of time can breed.
The other family members, who were aware of the conversation with Eisav, were either engaged in the negotiations or were interested bystanders to the give-and-take of the discussion. Hearing and responding to every argument of Eisav had a numbing effect on them and allowed for the temporary acceptance of the situation, turning it into the status quo. They became acclimated to Yaakov lying in disgrace, to the point that they weren’t bothered that they had to wait for Naphtoli’s return.
Chushim was different. Not being exposed to the give-and-take of the negotiations, he was only aware of one simple fact: My grandfather is lying unburied, and it is the fault of this man, Eisav. He was unaware of the cause for the delay and the acclimation that the passage of time brings; to him, the original aversion the other family members had to the situation remained in play. Thus, he reacted and killed Eisav without delay.
To illustrate just how far acclimation can go, we bring a comment from Rav Asher Bergman’s sefer, MiShulchano shel Rabbeinu (p. 169), which is brought in Margalios HaShas (Shabbos 33a). Rav Bergman’s grandfather, Rav Elazar Menachem Man Shach, often spoke of the danger of hergel, becoming used to something. He said that hergel is like a sharp knife that cuts through a person’s rise to greatness and his ability to examine himself accurately.
Rav Shach would bring a vort from his uncle Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer to illustrate this point. It says in Shabbos (33a) that for some sinners: “Maamikin lahem Gehinnom — Gehinnom is deepened for them.”
If it was decreed upon a person to be punished in Gehinnom, that should be enough. Why is there a need to deepen Gehinnom? Rav Isser Zalman explains that such is the power of getting used to things. Yes, a person can be deep within the bowels of Gehinnom and get used to even that. Acclimation can foster toleration of the worst punishment, to the point that a deeper one must be carved out. Allowing time to pass with no response can lead us to accept a disgraceful — and even unbearable — situation.
We must be ever vigilant about the state of our affairs. At times, we must put up with an uncomfortable situation, and wait for the passage of time to bring us ease. Still, we must be careful not to accept, even briefly, a situation that should not be tolerated. (R’ Avraham Bukspan)
