The Source of Strength
Now, if ‘strength’ is so important for a servant of Hashem it pays to investigate the source of this strength; it pays to know more about what it means.
When we look in the language of Tanach we see that many times a man is called a ben chayil, ‘a man of strength’. Now as far as a male is concerned we think we understand because in general all the men were eligible for military service. Men fought in battle; they were the warriors. So we could say it’s apt to describe a man as a ben chayil, a man of strength. Chayil to us means an army, so a ben chayil is a man who is fit for military service.
But that’s an error. We can see immediately that this is not the real meaning because when Shlomo Hamelech wants to describe a virtuous woman he uses the expression לƒיַח ̇∆ׁ ̆≈‡, a woman of chayil. He describes her other good qualities as well but the title that Mishlei gives her is eishes chayil, a woman of strength.
Women of War
Now, we know that women didn’t go to war. We don’t find in the Tanach that women were mobilized. This abomination was left to the Israeli government to introduce to the world; giyus banos is one of the worst inventions in the history of the world. It’s for the purpose of creating an army of harlots and demoralizing the Jewish people in one of the most wicked ways that ever happened.
We don’t realize what's taking place and people are keeping quiet for too long. The truth is we should organize an army to go to war against Israel, just to put an end to that abomination. I mean it seriously. Such a destruction of the Jewish people never was done before. To mobilize women en masse into an army?! They say it themselves; they state openly that they want girls in the army because they want to create a cultural rebuilding of the Jewish people. Which means, they want to teach the girls immorality; and the army is one of the best means for doing it.
But before this, there never was such a concept – a woman in the army?! And yet here we see in Mishlei that Shlomo is praising a woman with the appellation of לƒיַח ̇∆ׁ ̆≈‡, a woman of strength. So we understand that he’s not talking about military service. And we can surmise that he’s not praising this woman for her muscles, that she can heft a big basket of laundry up the stairs. That’s not what he’s talking about at all.
Strength of Character
So you’ll say maybe it means ‘a woman of character,’ maybe that’s the pshat in chayil – character and virtue. But actually chayil does not mean character; chayil means strength. We can prove that easily from many places in Tanach and in the words of Chazal. Chayil means strength – power and brute force. And so we have to understand then: We’re praising this eishes chayil as a woman of virtue, of character, so why do we mention chayil which really means strength?
And that is the answer! It means strength of character. Because you can’t have virtue and character without strength. Anybody who wants to be anything in this world has to have a certain courage of heart, an energy to overcome obstacles. A person of weakness of mind and listlessness of soul won’t accomplish much in this world. And so the לƒיַח ̇∆ׁ ̆≈‡ is not a woman of war; she’s a person of energy and initiative and diligence. She’s the real gibor.
Weak Women
Here is a place, let’s say a waiting room, and everybody is dressed in denim. Because the high school bums wear blue overalls, so the adults also, they have no backbone and they yield to the environment. An elderly man is sitting in the waiting room wearing blue denim! The women are undressed in blue denim too. Ragged, artificial patches, artificial splotches on it as if somebody poured ink on it or something.
But the gentiles, we don’t expect much better; they’re weak. But even Orthodox women are lacking a backbone. Because when she sits down she has to tug at her skirt so that it should cover her knees. A dress that you’ll have to pull down otherwise it’ll uncover your knees?! And sometimes even, I don’t want to say who – rebbetzins sit like that. It’s a weakness of character, that’s all.
Bold Women
But here is one woman. It’s terribly hot but she has sleeves down to her knuckles. She has a long dress too and high socks. Even her hair is covered. That woman is the eishes chayil! That’s the strength that Hashem cares about. She’s a lion, standing tall and proud in the jungle of naked pygmies!
And outside on the sidewalk, you see a frum Jew with a beard and peyos and a black hat; he’s walking in the street and on all sides are chofshim, people without anything on their heads – nothing on top of their heads and nothing inside their heads either. He looks different than everyone else. Sometimes people will make comments; they’ll make fun of him.
A Gibor Inside
What does strength of character mean? What does it mean to be a gibor k’ari? That he’s going to eat them up? No, that’s nothing. He’s a gibor inside! When he’s walking among them he knows that he’s walking in the country among trees. There is grass all around him. Not people; it’s grass. ירƒˆָח רָׂ ָּ̆בַה לָּכ – All the people are like grass all around me; not people (Yeshayah 40:6). It means ‘I’m not impressed by their numbers and their ideals and attitudes and fads. Not in the least. They’re nothing to me.’
Of course, if they bump into him he acts nice and says “I’m sorry.” You have to be a polite man. You smile and apologize. You get along with everyone. But inside you’re bold because you need gevurah, you need strength of a lion and a wolf and a snake. It doesn’t mean you bite anyone or tear anyone to pieces. But in your mind you have to be full of energy, full of strength; in your mind you are tearing apart all of the outside ideals.
An eishes chayil and an ish chayil don’t yield to the environment. To give in just because all around you are people who don’t think? Just because you’re surrounded by people – even frum Jews I’m sorry to say – who have strayed after taavos and foolish attitudes and pop-culture, that means you’ll do the same?
Never! A Jew has to be strong-minded to fight back against the yetzer of taking the path of least resistance, the path of yielding to the environment.
A Better Fight
Now the truth is that this energy and strength of character that we’re talking about – the courage of the lion and the eress of the snake and the strength of the wolf – it doesn’t have to be used only against the wicked. It’s not intended only for your attitude toward the outside world.
Because what’s the purpose of this vigor that Hashem wants from us? It’s to uphold the dvar Hashem. And therefore it doesn’t have to be used only against others, because often the wickedness is right here (the Rav pointed at himself). More than you have to worry about being a fighter against all the evil people in the world, more than you need to be a lion and a wolf when it comes to the Reformers and the Zionists and the gays, you have to be a lion and a wolf against yourself.
The Strength to Not Fight
You know, a young lady called me up on the phone a few weeks ago, and she was asking me if it’s better that we should fight against the liberals and our other enemies or maybe we should we just ignore them.
Now, whether you should fight against anybody or just ignore them, I couldn’t really tell her on regel achas; it depends on the circumstances. It’s too general of a question. But one thing I can tell you, young lady – and that means all of you young ladies – you’d better learn not to fight with your husband.
That’s what you need strength for! To know when not to fight! That’s how to be a lion! While you worry about fighting against other people, against evil men, there’s one evil man that you have to get along with! Because you’re going to be married one day. And if you’re going to be successful it means being a lion, a gibor, to overcome your natural inclinations.
A New Girls Seminary
And if you think that what I’m saying is superfluous – let me tell you, that’s the first thing you have to learn! If it was up to me, I would institute in all the girls’ schools – in all the seminaries – courses for success in marriage. Because right now there aren’t any good courses.
You know, I used to speak to the Bais Yaakov girls frequently and when I brought up this topic of studying for success in marriage they thought of it as a waste of time. They wanted to hear – they were good girls and they were interested in hearing about the mefarshim, what the Malbim says and what the Kli Yakar says.
Now that’s wonderful; mefarshim are wonderful. But the peirush that is most necessary is, ‘What does Hakadosh Baruch Hu say on the subject of living with another person in the same house?’ Because you aren’t trained for it.
A New Training
All your life, up to the age of eighteen or whatever it is, you were trained by your parents that whatever you said, they said “Yes, yes.” If you stamped your foot they became frightened. And if they didn’t do what you wanted, you ran to your room and slammed the door. And your mother brought supper to you on her hands and knees and you still said “No, no. Go away.” And then when your mother went to sleep you would sneak out of your room and eat up the whole plate of food.
And now you marry a young man who did the same thing in his house. Now, two such people, two people who never had the strength to say no to themselves, have to learn to live together!
Fight With Yourself
And that’s why I say when it comes to the question of against whom to be a lion and a wolf and a serpent, the first answer is against yourself. Be energetic and strong and courageous against yourself. Most of your energy should be focused on overcoming the bad middos, the wrong reactions in yourself.
So let’s say you have an urge to fight with your neighbor or your boss or your brother; so be a lion and fight against yourself. Yes you’re a lion because you’re summoning the courage to overcome your inclinations. If you answer back when he says
