Someone can give to another person is to point out to him his strengths and weaknesses. The person should know what he should do with his life, what abilities he has and where he needs to improve himself. That, in effect, was what Yaakov was doing here.
Even to Reuven, Shimon, and Levi, who had their foibles pointed out to them, that in itself is a berachah. He was telling them that they have these character traits, and this is something that they need to work on in the future. Chazal say that Shimon and Levi were zealots, and that Yaakov Avinu pointed it out to them. Levi, at least, was able to perfect his attribute of zealotry. That is why Levi, at the time of the aveira [sin] of the Egel Hazhav [Golden Calf] stood up for that which was right. That is why Moshe Rabbeinu was able to praise Levi and say about that shevet [tribe] “Who said to his father and mother ‘I did not see him’ and his brother he did not recognize and his children he did not know for they observed Your Word and kept Your Covenant” (Devorim 33:9).
There is a common denominator to all of these berachos (even though some of them sound like berachos and some almost sound like klalos), which is pointing out the natural strengths and abilities of each individual shevet and suggesting what they should do with their lives. That is the biggest berachah that a person can give someone else.
In Yehudah, Yaakov sees royalty (malchus). In Yissachor, he sees Torah Study. In Dan, he sees the ability to judge. All this is well and good until we get to Shevet Yosef. By Shevet Yosef, it does not seem—at first blush—like Yaakov is mentioning any of Yosef’s strengths. “Yosef is a charming child.... The daughters of Egypt used to climb up on the walls of Egypt to gaze at his beauty (Rashi).” (Bereishis 49:22) It seems that Yaakov is saying, l’havdil, that Yosef is gorgeous. He has the looks of a celebrity, and he was treated like a celebrity!
This is how we talk about a Jewish child? Have you ever heard someone praise a choson like that? One might say he is smart, he is personable, he is clever, but would we praise a choson by saying “He is really handsome, and looks beautiful!”? Nobody talks like that. This is not Jewish speech. Where is the description of Yosef’s personality traits? Where are the qualities of his soul mentioned?
Yaakov’s ‘berachah’ to Yosef continues: “They embittered him and became antagonists; the masters of arrows hated him.” (Bereishis 49:23). Rashi explains: He was hated by his brothers who were sharp tongued like an arrow. Put it together: What is the praise of Yosef? He is gorgeous. He is handsome. All the girls swoon for him. And you know what? His brothers hated him.
Where are his strengths mentioned? Where do we see his techunos ha’nefesh [innermost qualities]?
Rav Shmuel Birnbaum said a very interesting thing, which is very relevant and very current. People gravitate to people who love them, admire them, and consider them important. People tend to part company from people who don’t treat them nicely, are not kind to them, and don’t appreciate them. In what context did Rav Shmuel Birenbaum say this? We are painfully aware of a plague that has affected many communities in recent decades—the phenomenon of the drop-out youth, the ‘off-the-derech‘ children, children who are raised in what seem to be wonderful homes, but for some reason, throw it all away. They leave a Torah lifestyle and hang out on the streets with the worst of people.
This is a very complex situation which can have numerous causes. But Rav Shmuel Birnbaum said that sometimes the reason for this situation is that—for some reason—the child does not feel loved by his family, by his own peers, and by frum society. On the other hand, he feels that the kids on the street love him. They treat him nicely. They treat him with respect. So where is he going to go? In my school, they sometimes treat me like dirt. My parents are always down my throat. Nobody loves me. ‘They’ (on the ‘street’) love me. So where does he go?
Human nature is for people to gravitate to and associate with other people who they feel love them and appreciate them.
Now we understand the berachah of Yosef, and we understand his kochos [strengths]: His brothers hated him.
The brothers represented frum society. They slandered him. He came to Egyptian society and the girls are swooning over him. ‘Everybody loves me here.’ What might we expect of a lesser individual? “I am going to chuck this Yiddishkeit thing! Who needs it? My brothers treat me like mud, and these Egyptian girls can’t get enough of me.”
What did Yosef do? He remained a faithful Jew. He remained steadfast to his religion, in spite of the fact that the girls swooned, and the brothers hated him. That is kochos ha’nefesh [strength of character] and commitment. This is the same strength of character that allowed him to withstand the temptations of the wife of Potiphar. That is what Yaakov Avinu was telling us in his berachah. He was describing the strength of his son Yosef. In spite of the fact that the girls climbed up on the wall to see him, in spite of the fact that he was loved by them, and in spite of the fact that he was hated by his brothers, nevertheless he remained an honest and faithful Jew. (R’ Frand)
