By Yehuda Shurpin
Art by Yitzchok Schmukler
Need a babysitter? Before hiring one, there are a few halachic considerations to keep in mind. From making sure we pay fairly and on time, to keeping our kosher kitchens intact, to following the laws of yichud (gender-based seclusion), these halachic guidelines create a clear framework that protects both families and babysitters while upholding Jewish law.
What Happens If I Cancel?
Halachically, you can’t back out of any commitment that someone else is relying on, even if it’s just a verbal commitment (with no contract signed)—unless the other person clearly didn’t expect the commitment to be fulfilled. This includes hiring someone to do a job for you. So, once you hire a babysitter, you shouldn’t back out unless unforeseen circumstances force you to do so.
If you cancel at the last minute (not due to unforeseen circumstances), you need to pay the babysitter the minimum wage for that time if they can prove that they declined other job offers to be available for you.
If you canceled and they then managed to fill the slot with another job, they can’t compel you to pay, but you were wrong since you inconvenienced them by forcing them to look for another job.
If they had no other offers and wouldn’t have earned anything during that time, you don’t owe them anything since there was no financial loss.
All of the above applies only if there are no local customs regarding compensation for canceled babysitters (or other services). If there are local norms, then you should follow them.
How to Avoid Yichud
Perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of having a babysitter, especially when the children are slightly older, is yichud, the prohibition of having people of the opposite gender secluded together. So, a female babysitter watching a boy over age nine or a male babysitter watching a girl over age three would be problematic. This generally applies to relatives (except siblings and parents and grandparents) as well, so an aunt watching a nephew or an uncle watching a niece would need to follow the age guidelines above.
To avoid violating the laws of yichud when employing a babysitter to look after children of the opposite gender, several solutions are available:
- Age Considerations: The laws of yichud apply only if the boy is nine or older or if the girl is three or older. So, there is no problem with a male sitter watching a two-year-old or a female sitter with an eight-year-old.
- Presence of a “Shomer” (Guard): If other children between the ages of 6 and 9 are present, they can serve as "guards." During the day, one guard is sufficient, but at night, two are required. For example, a babysitter caring for a 10-year-old boy along with two children aged 6 to 9 does not pose a yichud issue, even at night.
- Visibility: If the babysitter is visible to passersby through windows facing a busy street, this also removes the yichud concern, as there is constant potential for observation.
- Neighbors or Husband: Having neighbors with keys check in periodically can mitigate concerns of yichud. Additionally, if the babysitter is married and her husband is in town, she can babysit without violating yichud.
If you need to drive the babysitter home very late at night, avoid any potential yichud situations by having someone of the same gender (e.g., the wife) drive the babysitter home.
Another potentially problematic scenario is having a babysitter while a parent of the opposite gender works from home since the parent and the babysitter may not be secluded together.
For more on the laws of yichud, see What You Need to Know About the Laws of “Yichud”.
