When Avraham and Sarah went to Egypt due to the famine in Canaan, he said Sarah was his sister. She was so beautiful, Avraham was afraid they would kill him to take her. Indeed, she was taken to Pharaoh’s palace. When Pharaoh realized she was married, he sent them away immediately.
When a similar situation occurred with Avimelech, the Philistine king of Grar, he didn’t just send them out. Instead, he began to plead his case and play the innocent card.
When Hashem told Avimelech to release Sarah, he replied, “Will you kill the innocent nation [as if they were wicked]?” He claimed he was justified in taking Sarah because both Avraham and Sarah had told him she was Avraham’s sister.
This language is strikingly similar to Avraham’s argument on behalf of Sodom. From where did Avimelech get this approach?
The answer is that Avraham brought into the world this understanding of Hashem, and once he did so, it became accessible to everyone.
Each of us, as children of Avraham, have the ability to bring awareness of Hashem into the world, and as we do, it will bring us closer to the time of Moshaich, when we say and hope that “U’malah ha’aretz, deah es Hashem – the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem” because of us.
Thought of the week:
Constructive criticism is so-called because the focus should be to build people up, not tear them down.
(GK:XY TYwARB) „.EwR OE QYDC HPST FAH RMAYW OHRBA wGYW‰ “Avraham came forward and said, “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?” (Beraishis 18:23)
Knowing that Avraham was going to be the father of a great multitude, as well as an influencer of the entire world, Hashem chose to let Avraham know about His plan to destroy Sodom and the other cities. As Hashem expected, Avraham stepped up to negotiate on their behalf and plead their case.
Though everyone knows the story of Avraham’s numerical queries, asking to save the cities for the sake of 50, 45, 40, 30, 20, or even just 10 righteous people, what most of us don’t realize is that Avraham didn’t actually say the words, “Please spare them in the merit of these righteous people.”
Instead, Avraham focuses on the midos of Hashem, His attributes as seen through His running of the world. Avraham asked Hashem, “Will you punish the righteous along with the wicked?” He was asking, “Are You the type of Master who will not discern between those who deserve punishment and those who don’t?” I wouldn’t believe such a thing, that YOU, Judge of the entire world, would do that. It would be a desecration of Your holy name to disregard the good people and destroy everyone.
He continued by asking with examples. “What if there were fifty righteous people in the city, how would You handle that? Would You destroy the whole city? Would you just save some of them? What if there were fewer, how would it change? I want to understand You better.” So it continued through each of the numbers Avraham asked about, each time with him gaining a new perspective in Hashem’s manner of judgment and guidance of the world.
The way Avraham pleaded with Hashem for the people of Sodom was not about them at all, but rather, about Hashem. Avraham made the Creator the focus, and through this, obtained a promise that if ten righteous people existed (sadly, they did not) He would save the city.
We find similarly that when Aharon HaKohain found people who were sinners, he would befriend them. He would speak to their hearts and praise their good qualities. The people would feel reflective, saying that if Aharon knew what they were really like he would not befriend them. This would cause them to do Teshuva and change their ways, so as not to let him down.
The Mishnayos in Pirkei Avos speak of being students of Avraham Avinu and of Aharon HaKohain, and indeed, we can learn from these two great tzaddikim how to bring out the best in people. It is not by focusing on their flaws and repeatedly pointing them out. Rather, it is by expressing an interest in others, and causing them to want to be better, kinder, and more. In this way, we can have the desired effect of improving others, without hurt feelings or pain.
The Chofetz Chaim heard that a bochur was caught smoking on Shabbos and asked to speak to him. The boy was prepared for a lengthy rebuke with a lot of angry yelling. Nobody heard what the Chofetz Chaim said to him, but that boy was never mechallel Shabbos again.
Years later, he revealed what took place. “I was prepared to be yelled at, but that didn’t happen. Instead, the Chofetz Chaim sat me next to him at his table. He grasped my hands in his and held them firmly and said one word, “Shabbos.” He repeated that word again and again as tears began streaming down his face. ‘Shabbos!’ he sighed, ‘Shabbos.’”
“Had I tried to remove my hands I would not have been able to, for I felt paralyzed. One of his holy tears fell onto my hand and I could feel the searing heat of the tzaddik’s concern for me and the Holy Shabbos.”
Absent-mindedly rubbing his hand, the man continued, “I can still feel the burning of that tear on my hand. It was at that moment I vowed never again to hurt this tzaddik by desecrating the Shabbos. It is too holy, and, apparently, the sage of Radin felt that I was too holy as well.”
©2024 – J. Gewirtz
