Avraham’s purpose in life: to demonstrate the chessed Hashem in the world.
Desiring Kindness
Now you understand why when Avraham Avinu looked out of his doorway on a very hot day and he saw that it was impossible for any wayfarers to be out on the roads, so he became very dispirited. He felt his life was being wasted because his purpose in life was to do kindness and thereby teach mankind this principle: that just like Hashem is a chofetz chessed, the One Who desires chessed, He wants us to do the same—we make a monument for Hashem by making people happy.
And therefore Hakadosh Baruch Hu had pity on Avraham and He sent him the only travelers who could brave that terrible heat—three malachim. But they appeared like ordinary persons and when Avraham saw ordinary travelers he was overjoyed because it was another opportunity to practice emulating Hashem. “That's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu shows us most about Himself,” Avraham said, “and the biggest compliment I can give to Hashem is to imitate Him.” יוָכָר¿„ƒּב ָּ̇¿כַלָה¿ו – If you emulate His ways, that's the biggest form of serving Hashem. And therefore Avraham said, “That’s going to be my job in life; to walk in His ways by doing kindness to the world.”
Part III. Our Kindness
Back at the Chasunah...
And so we come back now to our story that we began with tonight. You remember how the Chachomim were sitting at the table at the chasunah, and the question was raised, “Is it proper to allow such a great man as Rabban Gamliel, the leader of the Am Yisroel, to be a waiter for us?”
So Rabbi Eliezer, who was a man of strict principles, he said, “Nothing doing. I won’t let Rabban Gamliel stand over me and pour wine into my cup.” And it could be that at the end he also refused; he stuck by his principles.
But Rabbi Yehoshua said, “If Rabban Gamliel is serving us, you have to know he’s doing it for an important reason. He wants to demonstrate the greatness of our father Avraham, and he’s doing that by walking in his ways. He’s creating a monument to Avraham Avinu, to his life of chessed, of standing over anyone who came by and pouring them to drink and giving them to eat.”
Isn’t that a beautiful thing? Here is a wedding, and the nasi steps forward. He’s the most wealthy and powerful man in the nation, besides being the reish mesivta too, and he is going from table to table pouring wine for everyone because he wants to demonstrate who our father Avraham Avinu was. “That’s what Avraham Avinu did,” said Rabbi Yehoshua. “He stood over lesser people than him, and he poured wine into their cups. He was the original, the pioneer, of doing chessed in this world, and we should walk in his ways.”
The Main Purpose
But now the old sage Rabbi Tzaddok opened his mouth and said, “Rabbi Yehoshua, you’re right. There’s no question about it that we have to memorialize the greatness of our Avos. But in the meantime, you’re neglecting the main idea! You’re neglecting the main purpose that Avraham Avinu understood, the reason why he did it. He was doing it to emulate Hashem! How long will you forsake the glory of Hakadosh Baruch Hu and busy yourself with the glory of men?”
Now, the truth is, it’s not wrong. The glory of people like Avraham Avinu is the glory of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But that’s only if you understand what you’re doing. If you’ll sit in the shul and hear the kriyas haTorah, and you’re thinking about what Avraham did and you realize that it's all a demonstration, a proclamation of kavod Shamayim, that’s something else, yes. But to just think it’s a story about Avraham Avinu—even if you think it’s a story about Avraham’s greatness in chessed—but if you’ll forget that he did everything because he was emulating the original chofetz chessed, so you’re forsaking the kavod haMakom.
Losing the Plot
Isn’t it a pity that human beings get lost, they get involved in secondary things? It’s important, of course, gemilas chassodim. It’s one of the pillars that supports the world, absolutely. And it should be the goal of every frum Jew, to always strive to become better and better at doing chessed for his fellow Jews! But never forget the first cause, the One Who introduced chessed in creation: Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself!
You know, concepts are also something you have to create. Not only the world was created by Hashem; the whole ideal of chessed, He created. Hashem is the One Who started the whole concept of kindliness. And therefore Rabbi Tzaddok said, “Let’s remember the real purpose of why Rabban Gamliel is doing chessed. When he stands over us and he pours wine, it’s really a memorial to Hakadosh Baruch Hu Who is standing over us all the time, „ָח∆‡ לָּכ י≈נ¿פƒל ןָח¿לּוׁ̆¿ך≈רֹעו¿ו„ָח∆‡¿ו – and setting a table before each one of us. Rabban Gamliel is only advertising the great principle that this world was made for the purpose of bestowing kindness on all the inhabitants of this world.”
Let’s Get Practical
And that’s our purpose whenever we do something of kindness: ל≈ב≈̇ י≈ב¿ֹׁ̆יו לָּכוּעו¿„≈י¿וּירוƒּכַי – Let everybody recognize that Hashem is pouring drinks into our mouths. Let everyone recognize that Hashem is feeding us. Let everyone recognize that Hashem is doing chessed to us every minute of every day!
Absolutely, we have to become people of chessed. But when we do kindliness, we should always try to keep in mind that we’re doing it to emulate Hashem, zeicher l’chasdei haMakom. Whenever we bestow a favor on anybody, it’s important for us to keep in mind that we want to advertise that Hashem is a tov u’meitiv, that that’s His only purpose and that’s why He created the world.
And so let's say somebody comes from Eretz Yisroel; he’s collecting money. It’s not enough that you give him a nice donation. It’s not enough if you ask him to sit down—if your husband is home of course—and give him something to eat, something to drink. Now, he probably won't eat in your house. He wouldn't trust your kashrus but he'll take a glass of water. Maybe he'll even take an apple from you, a glatt kosher apple you can give him. You're machnis orach! A wonderful thing if you can do that.
But it’s not enough. You have to think in your mind, “I am doing this because I am emulating Hakadosh Baruch Hu Who shows us in all of His creation that He is a chofetz chesed.”
Kindness Plus
Even if you can’t give much. Let’s say you’re in shul and someone is collecting, but you only have a dollar or two to give him. But still, you can give him a nice handshake. You can honor him. You can smile at him. All day long he trudges from one synagogue to another. Not always is he received with such a friendly face. So you’ll go all out with your kind words of encouragement. Very good! All that is included in chessed.
But don’t stop there. It matters very much what’s in your mind! What are you doing more than anything else? You are praising Hashem! I’m doing it because that’s what Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires most. ı≈פָח יƒּכ‡ּהו „∆ס∆ח – Hashem desires kindliness and I’m just imitating Him in my own little way. I’m creating a monument for Hashem!
And so whatever you do to your fellow man—let's say a mother is extending a spoon full of food to her baby, but she was here tonight at the lecture and therefore she’s ready. From now on, when she extends the bottle to the baby or the spoon full of food so she is thinking, “Just like Hakadosh Baruch Hu is ̇∆‡ ַח≈ ֹ̇וּפָיך∆„ָי — He opens up His hand, ןֹוˆָר יַח לָכ¿ל ַיﬠƒּב¿ַׂ̆מּו – and He satiates the desire of every living thing, I also stretch out my hand to my child and satiate him.”
A father can also do it when he gets up in the middle of the night sometimes. It’s a good idea by the way. Sometimes the father should get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying—let the wife sleep a little bit—and as he’s standing there pushing the nipple of the bottle into the baby's mouth let him think, “My hand is the hand of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Because He is doing it to me too. I don't see the nipple when He is feeding me, but it’s no less. He is feeding me with His hand. I am eating out of His hand. And therefore that's why my baby is eating out of my hand because I am emulating Hakadosh Baruch Hu.”
Don’t be a Gentile
Now, if you don’t think that, I’m not saying it’s nothing. If people are kindhearted without thinking of Hashem, they're going to get a reward anyhow. But that kind of kindliness is not the fulfillment of Hashem's purpose. It’s something, but it’s not avodas Hashem.
If you're feeding your baby just like anybody else among the nations feeds their babies, it's a pity. After all, Mrs. Morreti, the Italian neighbor down the block, she also feeds her children. But you came into this world not to be an Italian mother.
So hurry up and add this one ingredient: “I’m doing it because Hakadosh Baruch Hu wishes to feed the world and therefore I’m his emissary.” Otherwise it’s a pity. You're wasting your chessed; you’re wasting your life! It's only when it's done because we believe in a Borei Who is a chofetz chessed; it’s only when we say םּחוַר הַָּ̇‡ ףַ‡ םּחוַר ‡ּהו הָמ, just as He is so are we, then it has meaning.
Expanding the Program
Now we have to apply this to all the things we do, anything of kindness should be done l’sheim Shamayim; you're emulating Hakadosh Baruch Hu. After all, Avraham practiced kindliness to everybody in all types of ways. Chessed means many things—it means being polite and kindly and caring and compassionate and forgiving. Chessed means also, no ona’as devarim. Don't say wrong words, hurt people's feelings. No lashon hara either—that's a lack of chessed.
Make it a habit to encourage people. 'ה יםƒוָנֲﬠ „≈„ֹעו¿מ – Hakadosh Baruch Hu encourages people (Tehillim 147:6) in all types of ways, so we should too. Avraham Avinu learned how to encourage people, to make them feel good, to make them happy. Wherever Avraham was, it was ֹמוֹו ̃¿מƒּב הָו¿„∆ח¿ו זֹע – courage and simchah like in the place of Hashem.
Avraham smiled at people too! But he did it because He understood that Hashem was smiling at him! The sunlight, Avraham knew, was a smile of kindness from Hashem. A light breeze was another smile. And so just like ָיך∆ל≈‡ יוָנָּפ ה׳ ר≈‡ָי, we imitate Him and smile at others. Avraham learned that. He learned all the details, all the subdivisions of chessed. It's a very great subject, a whole Shas of chessed, and Avraham learned it from the briyah.
Kindness of Carefulness
Chessed, for instance, will include; you have to be careful with other people and their money too. If you're going to open a window in somebody's house, you’ll be careful not to break the windowpane. That's chessed. You have to be careful if you're sitting here, don't stick your foot out into the aisle. Someone might fall over your foot. That's chessed. Chessed means you are being careful not to cause injury to people.
Or if somebody lost something. Let's say your fellow man's garbage can fell into the street. Soon, a car will come and flatten it out. So you keep on walking; you “don't care”. What do you mean you don't care? Walk out in the street and put it back. It's hashavas aveidah. That's chessed.
Avraham learned these dinim. He was a practitioner of chessed because he learned from Hakadosh Baruch Hu; he learned chessed and all the toldos of chessed, all the subdivisions of chessed. He learned them from the briyah, and he became a gadol baTorah in all the dinim of chessed.
Avraham’s Greatest Teaching
And that’s what we have to do. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, ם∆יכƒבֲ‡ םָהָר¿בַ‡ ל∆‡ּיטוƒּבַה – look at your forefather Avraham (Yeshayha 51:1). Look at him! That’s why the story of Avraham sitting by his tent looking out for wayfarers is told. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is telling us, “Habitu! Look at your forefather. Always study that! Always think about how he lived!”
“And if you adopt this as a career in life, if you walk in the ways of Avraham,” says Hakadosh Baruch Hu, “and you do it for the same reason he did, because he was walking in My ways, that’s the person I’m waiting for! That’s true greatness. You’re the person who’s becoming great in this world. Because it’s not the spectacular deeds that I’m waiting for; it's the ordinary deeds of kindness that are accompanied with the devotion of the mind that truly makes a man great.”
Have a Wonderful Shabbos
Let’s Get Practical
Learning From Avraham Avinu
This week we learned that Avraham Avinu became the master of chessed by studying the world and discovering that Hashem fills it with endless kindness. Every act of goodness Avraham did was a declaration that Hashem is a chofetz chessed — that the Creator loves to do good.
This week I will bli neder do at least one act of chessed each day — whether it’s helping someone, giving encouragement, or even offering a smile — with the thought that I am doing it to emulate Hashem’s kindness. Just as Hashem opens His hand to feed and care for all His creations, I will train myself to open my hand and heart to others, remembering that every small kindness becomes a living monument proclaiming Hashem’s goodness in the world.
This week’s booklet is based on tapes: 96 – Avraham’s Teachings | 371 – A Happy World E-156 - Avraham Utilized His Lifetime E-164 - In The Days of Avraham Listen to Rabbi Miller on the phone! Call the Kol Avigdor hotline 718-289-0899
