Ever since our earliest years, the phrase “chessed l’Avraham” has served to focus us on the selflessness of Avraham Avinu and encourage us to emulate in some manner the magnificent welcome that he extended to the three angels. We can draw further inspiration and guidance from the careful study of this parshah and its midrashim, even as we have surely grown through helping others and from observing the “masters of chessed” with which our communities have been blessed.
While Avraham is lauded for every gracious move and gesture, there is one phrase in this week’s parshah in which Avraham offers water to his guests, which draws both praise as well as criticism. Throughout the parshah, Avraham personally provides lodging and a hearty meal to his visitors and speaks to them clearly and without hesitation. However, when he offers his guests some water, his language becomes formal and convoluted: “Please let there be taken a little water.” Chazal noted the change, a formal usage of “please,” the uncharacteristic “a little,” and the distancing manner inherent in the passive “let there be taken.”
There is a Midrash, quoted by Rashi, that resolves the inconsistent grammar of this phrase in a way that is critical of Avraham. “Let there be water taken” is meant to instruct Yishmael to bring some water, instead of Avraham running himself as he did with all the other needs of the malachim. Because Avraham held back ever so slightly, the Jews received their water through a messenger, Moshe, whereas the manna and heavenly clouds came directly from Hashem. At first glance, this is very surprising. Is it not the best type of chinuch to involve one’s children in acts of chessed? Do we not all assume that including our children in our projects and lifestyles gives us the best shot at establishing them as an enduring legacy? Perhaps Avraham wanted to be soft and feared being pushy; nevertheless, Chazal understood that in this case, his thoughtfulness communicated timidity, and the manner in which he called upon Yishmael belittled the very task he was assigning to his son. Chazal want us to understand that we should no doubt engage others, and certainly our children, but all the while stressing the great contribution they are making, rather than understating their efforts.
How precious is the advice of Hagaon HaRav Yaakov Kamenetzky zt”l who counseled parents training their children to say brachos as follows: “Describe to them in great detail the tumult in Heaven as thousands of angels each proclaim the praises of Hashem and how when a child makes a brachah, everything becomes suddenly quiet so that the brachah can pass directly to the Throne of Glory, where it brings immeasurable pleasure to Hashem Himself.”
