Disclosure: Some details of the question below have been altered to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
QUESTION:
I am a Rebbe of some very cute little boys. Recently, two of the little boys made what I deemed to be a frivolous request to go to the school nurse which I denied. Later, it was discovered that these two cutie-pies forged a note from the assistant Rebbe allowing the visit to the school nurse. The forged note, complete with all the misspellings that one would expect from little boys just learning how to write, was adorable. In truth, it would be difficult to keep a straight face if I were to confront them about the forged letter. Should I confront them about it, or chalk it up to a cute, youthful indiscretion and ignore it?
ANSWER:
The Gemorah in Yevamos 63a is instructive here. It tells us that Rav’s wife would always serve him something that was the opposite of what he had actually requested. When Rav asked for lentils, she would serve him chickpeas. When he asked for chickpeas, she would serve him lentils. Later on, when Rav’s son Chiyah, was old enough to comprehend what was happening, he decided to help his father: When his father asked for lentils, he told his mother that his father wanted chickpeas. Rav then proceeded to tell his son that his mother was improving. Chiyah then admitted to his father that he had been altering Rav’s request so that his father would get what he actually wanted. Rav told Chiyah that he should not do so in the future, as the Possuk says, “They taught their tongues to speak falsehood” (Yirmiyahu 9:4). Why did Rav stop Chiya from doing so? Was he not fulfilling the commandment of Kibud Av v’Aim (honoring his father and mother) and also lying to promote Shalom (peace) which is generally permitted? The Yam Shel Shlomo (Yevamos 6:46) explains that here, Chiya could learn to make a habit out of lying since he was lying to his mother regarding his father’s requests frequently. This would Chalilah (Heaven forbid) inculcate in him the trait of Sheker (falsehood) and that is why Rav told Chiyah to discontinue this practice.
Now, back to your question. A Rebbe’s job is to take the place of the parent during his hours of instruction. He must ensure that his students are not inculcated with improper traits. It may be true that such a forgery at their young ages may be a cute, youthful indiscretion. However, if not confronted and “nipped in the bud” it can become habitual and when these young children grow up and forge a letter, it is most assuredly, will not be cute.
There are stories of seemingly sincere individuals asking notaries to sign off on the authenticity of the signatures of their wives for a second mortgage when their wives are not present. Rav Elyashiv ZT”L ruled that this is entirely forbidden for a notary to do. These situations often occur in adults when we do not utilize the educational moments that present themselves when they were young.
The two cutie-pies should be confronted and instructed lovingly that what they did was wrong and against Halacha (Jewish law).
