In this week’s parshah, Avraham Avinu hosts the three malachim and begs them to accept his offer of hospitality: “And I will take a morsel of bread, and sustain your hearts; afterwards, you shall pass on, because you have passed by your servant.” The sefer Noam Megadim notes that the words “achar ta’avoru” (afterwards, you shall pass on) hint at the greatness of forgiveness, of being “ma’avir al midosav” and overlooking the hurt others have caused us.
Any wrongdoing requires a tikkun of some sort; it could be fasting or some other kind of suffering. When a person is hurt by someone, and refrains from responding, that is in itself a form of tikkun. This is what the passuk is hinting at: If a person has sinned, and should fast as atonement — and then someone harms him and he withholds his response and forgives the other person and judges him favorably — he is no longer required to fast for his own sins, which are forgiven. Now he can eat, being that he was ma’avir al midosav.
Essentially, the person who hurt us has done us a huge favor, giving us the opportunity to refrain from responding. But that’s only something to think about when someone hurts you. When it comes to the feelings of others, it’s crucial to be as sensitive as possible. Let’s not make the grave mistake of hurting others and giving them the “opportunity” to forgive us!
Sadly, many people habitually hurt others “unintentionally” and excuse themselves by saying, “I’m just not the kind of guy who thinks before saying something. I didn’t mean anything.” They may even be telling the truth, but the fact that they are hurting others obligates them to figure out a way to become more sensitive rather than justifying their insensitive behavior.
