Getting Depressed Over Your Sin Can Be Worse Than the Sin Itself
This Shabbos (15 Cheshvan) is the Yahrtzeit of the Chazon Ish Zatzal. In his memory, I’d like to tell a story that happened with him; it will again show how important it is to always be positive. A young girl was knocking at his door, and although it was after hours, she was still very persistent. It sounded like a major emergency.
In the end, the Chazon Ish found out her plight. She had been a soldier in the Treife Israeli army, and she was Nichshal in an Aveira. She was so broken that she wanted to commit suicide. In response, the Chazon Ish quoted Chazal, who say: הִרְ הוּרֵי עֲבֵירָּה קָּשִין מֵעֲבֵירָּה יומא כט א thinking bad thoughts are worse than doing the actual sin.
The Chazon Ish said, that for her, the Pshat in Chazal is that worrying and getting depressed over your sin can be worse than the sin itself. The main sin is looking down on yourself and getting depressed. The Yetzer Hara loves to make you feel like a bum and a Rasha, and smart people know that: עִבְדוּ אֶּת ה' בְשִׂ מְחָה serving Hashem with Simcha must always dominate you, no matter what.
They say that the girl got the message. She got married, and her children became Gedolei Torah.
זְכוּתוֹ יָגֵן עָלֵינוּ אָמֵן
May his merit protect over us, Amen
