Teacher: We will only have a half-day of school this morning...
Liba : Yay!!!!
Teacher: Then we will have the other half this afternoon.
Teacher: Why are you late for school?
Zelig N: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does the sign have to do with you being late?
Zelig N: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Cheli asked her trainer at the gym if she could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
While making the rounds at Hadassah Hospital, Dr. Herbst points out an X-Ray to a group of medical students.
"As you can see," he says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Chaim Yankel, what would you do in a case like this?"
Chaim Yankel ponders for a second and answers, "I guess I'd limp, too."
Shaya and Shmuli had put on a few too many pounds during COVID and they realized it was time to do something about it.
“That’s it, I’m going on a diet!” Shaya exclaimed.
"Great," Shmuli said. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."
"Wonderful," Shaya replied. "I'll go with you."
Two brawny men came to a Ethel Cohen’s house in Brooklyn to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, Ethel asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. Ethel really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked Ethel to move her car, which was blocking their van. She told them her fee: $45.
