Novardok
Making A Joke Out of Kavod
A Rosh Yeshiva told R' Chaim Kanievsky Zatzal that when he comes to a Chasuna they play for him יָּמִים עַל יְמֵי מֶּלֶּךְ תוֹסִיף (a song played in honor of an important person who enters a ballroom) and it’s getting to his head. R' Chaim told him: “What, are you a little child?” This is exactly a true Novardok reaction (and R' Chaim was born in Novardok - Pinsk) to make a joke out of Kavod. And this is the best way to overcome Redifas HaKavod. I try to do this with people who have Kin'ah and Kavod issues.
How stupid and immature! Oh, they gave a more Chashuva Aliya to your friend, or he has “better” or more kids or Talmidim than you have! Oy Vey! What a tragedy! Rachana Litzlan! How can you live with a relative or friend or neighbor who has more than you! Especially if it’s Ruchaniyus (now the Yetzer Hara is really laughing at your stupidity!)
A good old loud and sarcastic “NEBECH!” You poor thing! How about jumping off a roof! This is major Tzaros! You’ll need a therapist for the next ten years. In Novardok, they were Mamash rolling about the stupidity of Kin'ah, Ta'ava, and Kavod; and they were truly happy people.
When a new Bachur came to Novardok, they made sure to have him get up: בָּ רַ בִ ים in front of everyone and say that he was wrong about what he had said in his learning. To be: מוֹדֶּה עַל הָּאֶּמֶּת (admit the truth) is a Midda that has to be cultivated in your younger years; or else you’ll be a typical: עַ קְ שָּ ן (stubborn person) who has to be right, and can’t understand another way of looking at things.
