A Rosh Yeshiva told R' Chaim Kanievsky Zatzal that when he comes to a Chasuna they play for him ˂ יָמִים עַל יְמֵי מֶלֶ תֹוסִיף (a song played in honor of an important person who enters a ballroom) and it’s getting to his head. R' Chaim told him: “What, are you a little child?” This is exactly a true Novardok reaction (and R' Chaim was born in Novardok - Pinsk) to make a joke out of Kavod. And this is the best way to overcome Redifas HaKavod. I try to do this with people who have Kin'ah and Kavod issues.
How stupid and immature! Oh, they gave a more Chashuva Aliya to your friend, or he has “better” or more kids or Talmidim than you have! Oy Vey! What a tragedy! Rachana Litzlan! How can you live with a relative or friend or neighbor who has more than you! Especially if it’s Ruchaniyus (now the Yetzer Hara is really laughing at your stupidity!)
A good old loud and sarcastic “NEBECH!” You poor thing! How about jumping off a roof! This is major Tzaros! You’ll need a therapist for the next ten years. In Novardok, they were Mamash rolling about the stupidity of Kin'ah, Ta'ava, and Kavod; and they were truly happy people.
When a new Bachur came to Novardok, they made sure to have him get up: בַ רִ ב יםָ in front of everyone and say that he was wrong about what he had said in his learning. To be: מֹודֶה עַל הָאֶמֶת (admit the truth) is a Midda that has to be cultivated in your younger years; or else you’ll be a typical: עְ קָ שןַ (stubborn person) who has to be right, and can’t understand another way of looking at things.
We don’t chap (realize) that as long as you are a Shogeg (unintentional) and you admit that you’re wrong, you’re Mamash in a different world and you are Zoche B'din. כִי אָדָם אֵין צַּדִיק בָאָרֶץ אֲׁשֶר יַעֲׂשֶה טֹוב וְלֹא יֶחֱטָא קהלת ז כ No one is perfect. It’s impossible to be the: מּוְ שָ ל ם (“paragon of perfection”). But as long as you try and you aim in the right direction, you are already Zoche B'din even if you did the worst sin.
There are many, many people (even Tzaddikim) who simply can’t admit that they could be wrong. They must be right! They simply can’t give in! And they’re tough and self-righteous. This is the answer to Hamas and similar wickedness. I’m right! You’re wrong. Such people can’t be trusted. They are like insecure children who must be right. They never grew up.