By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
<blockquote>Just because you asked nicely your child will choose to listen...</blockquote>
What if your child doesn’t respond to your firm request? Authority can still be established. Let the child know that there will be a consequence for failing to comply. Ignoring the child’s defiance allows the child to practice - and improve in - his tendency to ignore your requests. You can’t MAKE a child do anything but you can help him understand that there are consequences for his choices just like there are for our own. For instance, we can steal or park illegally while understanding that there is a price we may have to pay. Deterrents deter us - and our kids - from making certain choices in the future. You can use deterrents on occasion in order to help your child choose compliance over conflict, respect over disrespect, ease over struggle, and acceptance of benign, healthy and loving authority.
<blockquote>doesn’t</blockquote>
<blockquote>mean</blockquote>
<blockquote>Your children acquire their inflection, tone of voice, choice of words and demeanor from YOU....</blockquote>
Speak to your child with quiet confidence. It’s an excellent model for your child. 

Sarah Chana Radcliffe explains how parents can establish loving authority and use deterrents to guide their children toward respect and compliance.

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