From the fact that the wealthy man in our story is male, and also as a result of the interpretation of "I find more bitter than death the woman," a mistaken impression might be formed: as if the woman is only the "receiver" in the relationship, and she must check if the man is a good and generous "giver" for her. But in fact, as the Lubavitcher Rebbe said, every Jew is essentially a "giver." Therefore, both partners should approach married life with the attitude of being essentially givers: how can I act for the good of the relationship, my partner, and the world in general?
When Eliezer, Abraham's servant, wants to test the young women coming to the well, he chooses the test of generosity: will the girl before him "think big" and give him more than he asked for? When he meets Rebecca, who gave above and beyond what she was asked to do, he knows she is fit to be a member of the house of Abraham, the man of kindness.
Evidence of the importance Eliezer places on this can be seen in the order of his actions: after Rebecca draws water for the camels, he hurries to put the bracelets on her hands, and only then inquires about her family and lineage. From this we can learn that the qualities of the intended spouse are several times more important than family pedigree, which is often seen as a crucial detail among those of distinguished lineage. When there is a potential spouse with good qualities, the pedigree is an additional gift from Heaven (as Rashi interpreted the verse "'By this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master' - if she is from a family suitable for him, I will know that You have shown kindness").
Although it is written that "a woman is stingy with guests," Sarah our matriarch is not like this - and so her daughters are required to be. In a sense, one could even say that a woman's generosity is even more significant than that of a man. The Gemara explains that while a man gives from his money, a woman's giving is in food - which is literally the work of her hands, and also more readily available for the hungry poor. This generosity can be distinguished during courtship, if the young man or woman is endowed with a discerning eye. But even afterwards, it must be well preserved - as the most important quality in married life.
