Awareness of Neshama and of Hashem’s constant presence will deter misbehavior; habit of stealing should be dealt with through education or if necessary, by a specialist; never give the child a feeling that they are bad
By the Grace of G-d
In the Days of Chanukah,
Brooklyn, N. Y.
Greeting and Blessing:
I received your letter, in which you ask my advice with regard to certain educational problems, especially how to influence the children to get rid of undesirable habits, etc.
Needless to say, these problems cannot be adequately discussed in a letter. However, experienced teachers and educators are usually their own best guides, for, as the saying goes, "None is wiser than the man of experience." Besides, it is difficult to give advice from the distance, especially as the psychology of children may vary in certain aspects from one country to another.
Nevertheless I would like to make one general point which can be universally applied in educational problems, a point which is emphasized in the teachings of Chassidus. I refer to the effort to make the children aware that they possess a soul which is a part of G-d, and that they are always in the presence of G-d (as explained in Chapters 2 and 41 of the Tanya). When this is done persistently, and on a level which is suitable to the age group and background of the children, the children come to realize that they possess a great and holy quality which is directly linked with G-d, the Creator and Master of the world, and that it would therefore be quite unbecoming and unworthy of them to do anything which is not good. At the same time they come to realize that they have the potential to overcome temptation or difficulty, and if they would only make a little effort on their part they would receive considerable assistance from On high to live up to the Torah and Mitzvoth, which constitute the will and wisdom of G-d.
As for the problem of some children having a habit to take things not belonging to them, this may fall into one of two categories: a. The attitude mentioned in the Mishnah in Pirke Aboth "Mine is thine and thine is mine." In this case the effort should be made to educate the child that just as it is necessary to be careful not to offend or shame another person, so it is necessary to be careful not to touch anything belonging to somebody else, b. An unhealthy condition which should be treated medically by specialists who know how to handle such an aberration.
I would like to add one more point, which is also emphasized in the teachings of Chassidus, namely, to be careful that in admonishing children the teacher or parent should not evoke a sense of helplessness and despondency on the part of the child; in other words, the child should not get the impression that he is good-for-nothing and that all is lost, etc., and therefore he can continue to do as he wishes. On the contrary, the child should always be encouraged in the feeling that he is capable of overcoming his difficulties and that it is only a matter of will and determination.
