Part I. Recognizing the Best
The Rosh Yeshiva and The Secretary
Many years ago when I was still raw – I’m still raw but I was even more raw then – I received a rebuke from an important personality. I was speaking to a certain Rosh Yeshiva in his office and together with him was sitting one of his secretaries, a male secretary, and at one point in the conversation I directed my remarks to the secretary; on the side, I said something to him. So the Rosh Yeshiva corrected me. “You don’t talk to the secretary when the Rosh Yeshiva is here. When the Rosh Yeshiva is here, you speak only to him.”
I learned an important lesson that day. In the presence of somebody important you don’t talk to someone else. Because by acknowledging someone else’s presence, you are already mitigating his dignity. You are belittling the honor of the more important person.
Derech Eretz and Democracy
Let’s say you walk into a physician’s office and the doctor is there, but also there’s a girl there who is cleaning up. So you don’t say, “Good morning. How are both of you this kind morning?” That’s bad manners. You don’t include the physician together with the maid. She’s nobody in comparison to him.
Now, to hear such things seems jarring to our American ears; it just doesn’t seem democratic enough if you don’t include the cleaning girl and the doctor in the same greeting. But that’s because America is not necessarily a land that’s so proficient in derech eretz. And therefore the first order of the night is to forget about democracy. Torah is more important than democracy and derech eretz is one of the foundations of Torah. And if you direct your remarks to the great man together with the one who accompanies him, that’s already equivalent to belittling him; it’s a lack of derech eretz.
Greeting Moshiach
You know who we learn that from? From Avrohom Avinu. You remember when the three malachim were passing his tent ... and he ran out to greet them? But we find that he spoke only to the one in the center ... because naturally that’s the one who was most important. Why was he in the center? Because he’s the more important one.
I explained this to you once, if you’re walking down Thirteenth Avenue and you see three people coming towards you. Let’s say on one side, you recognize it’s the Satmerer Rav, and on the other side is, let’s say, the Lubavitcher Rebbe. And walking right in between them, in the middle, there’s an unknown person. So you understand right away that if he’s in the middle of these two great people, then he must be more important than both of them. If he’s between those two, probably he’s Moshiach! And therefore he’s the one you greet. Otherwise you’re lacking in derech eretz.
Now, if you came here just to hear that, very good. You can be a baal derech eretz now. So if you meet your father in the street tomorrow morning and together with him someone else is walking, the person who deserves your attention is your father. “Good morning Papa.” That’s how to greet them the Torah way.
Ignoring People
Now, this is a subject that’s worth studying by itself but I’m going to change the topic a little bit. We’re going to see that it’s not only when it comes to greeting people. Even if you’re just relating a story, an incident that happened, the Torah way is to focus on the better one and the one who’s not as important is relegated to the background.
That’s why you’ll find in the Gemara stories where it is related that someone did something or said something and nothing is said about anyone being together with him. You’re reading a story about Rabbi Shimon, let’s say, and you have no idea that someone else was even there at all. And then finally, a few lines later, the Gemara incidentally makes a remark, ... – there was another man with him. There was somebody there the whole time. ... – and why wasn’t he mentioned? ... – because of the honor of Rabbi Shimon (Gittin 5b).
That’s a great principle that Chazal are teaching us. It’s true, there are other people too and everyone is important. But the better one is too big that somebody should be mentioned together with him. To make mention of those who are with him is equivalent to mitigating the importance of the better one.
City of Perfection
You remember when Avrohom Avinu came to Eretz Canaan? His great great grandfather Malkitzedek – that’s Shem ben Noach – was still alive, living in Eretz Canaan. Avrohom was a descendant of Shem and this great ancestor of his was living nearby.
Now who was Shem? Shem was a great tzaddik, one of the noblest men who ever lived. ... he was a kohen who worshipped the most high Hashem (Bereishis 14:18). A kohen means that he was dedicated; it was his career.
But he wasn't only a kohen. He was a king of a beautiful city, a city that was built lisheim shomayim. After the mabul, Shem ben Noach came out of the teivah and said, “The old generations destroyed the world by means of their mistakes but I'm going to fix that. I’m going to start a new community and rebuild the world on the foundation of achieving shleimus.”
So he came to a certain place in Eretz Cana'an and he founded a town called Shalem on the site of what is now Yerushalayim. The word Yerushalayim is yeru–shalem. Yeru – the cornerstone city, shalem – of perfection. The city was founded for the purpose of shleimus, of perfection. It’s a remarkable thing. Avrohom Avinu’s great-grandfather, Malkitzedek, was king of an exceptional town where the slogan was tzedek, righteousness!
The King in the Background
So now you know what was doing when Avrohom came into Eretz Canaan; his zeide, an exceptionally righteous man, was living nearby in charge of an exceptional city. And yet we don’t hear anything about him! It’s surprising to us! Avrohom’s great ancestor doesn’t get the slightest mention. Once Avrohom appeared on the scene he became the sole interest of Hashem in this world. As far as the Creator was concerned, all of mankind – even someone as great as Malkitzedek – became scenery in the background behind Avrohom.
You know when you see Malkitzedek? When he steps into the spotlight for a moment to speak to the main character. If you ever were in the theater – I hope you were never in a theater – but they have a spotlight there. The stage is full of people, all kinds of actors, but there’s a spotlight that is shining on the one who is the most important one, the one who is doing the talking. All the rest are in a half shadow. You can barely see them unless they are speaking with the main character.
When do we hear from Malkitzedek? When he spoke to the main character. When Avrohom returned from the war against the king, ... – he came to greet Avrohom and then, for a short moment, the light was shining on him too. He earns a mention because he came out to greet Avrohom. But as soon as this episode is finished he stepped back out of the limelight and nothing more is said about him or his descendants.
The Principled Hitman
And we learn from this the principle about how Hakodosh Boruch Hu looks at us in this world. He looks primarily at the better ones! The one who is the best in his environment, the best in his town, the best in his yeshiva, the best in his synagogue, the best on his street, he towers far above all the rest of them and Hakodosh Boruch Hu is looking solely at him. Compared to him the rest are relegated to the background.
Of course, Hakodosh Boruch Hu is looking at every Jew. Not only every Jew; Hakodosh Boruch Hu is looking at every squirrel. He knows what every single rat, every mouse, every bacterium, is doing. Nobody, nothing at all, is not seen by Him and nothing is overlooked. It’s a great Torah principle that ... – Hakodosh Boruch Hu does not deprive anyone of his due reward (Bava Kamma 38b). Everyone is going to get the reward he deserves, absolutely.
Even a rasha, a gangster, who kills ten people a day, won’t lose out on the reward he deserves. Let’s say that his business; he gets a paycheck for each body that he delivers – ten people a day. But it’s against his principle to kill eleven! Even if he’s offered a big bonus, for an eleventh victim, he won’t do it. He has principles after all; he’s not stam a murderer. Hakodosh Boruch Hu will not deprive him of his reward for that self control.
How To View The World
And so there’s no question that everything you do counts tremendously. If you do good things, better things than not murdering people, kol shekein you’ll get even more reward. Nothing will be forgotten because Hakodosh Boruch Hu is interested in everything, in every little detail.
And yet, we’re learning now the fundamental principle – it’s a big chiddush – that there’s no comparison between the one who is better and the others. Hashem chooses the best! That’s the great principle. His interest in the best one is His true interest in this world. That’s what we’re saying here, that Hashem looks primarily at the better ones. And we’re supposed to learn from that – that’s how we’re supposed to look at the world too.
Part II. Appreciating the Best
A Crazy Story
Now, don’t think that once you heard this so now you can go home. You heard it, so now you know, “Only great people are important; they are who we concentrate on.” Oh no, you don’t know anything yet. Because it’s not so easy to appreciate greatness. Don’t think that you would have appreciated the greatness of Avrohom Avinu. Absolutely not!
You remember when Avrohom was waiting for wayfarers to pass by? ... – Avrohom was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day (Vayeira 18:1). It was an extraordinarily hot day and this ninety-nine year old man, recovering from a bris milah, is sitting near the door of his tent waiting; he’s bandaging his wound and he’s looking out for wayfarers.
And when he sees three plain Arabs – that’s how they appeared to him – he ran out into the heat and he fell down on the ground and begged them: ... – My masters, please don’t go away from your servant (ibid. 18:2). They’re demurring but Avrohom is begging them.
Now, in the eyes of other people this was crazy. If somebody is in need, alright – you’ll offer him something. But if he’s reluctant to accept your hospitality, do you have to throw yourself on the ground? You have to prostrate yourself and beg him to come?
The Nutcase on Thirteenth Avenue
We’re accustomed to reading that in the Torah, but had we seen it we would think it’s a little bit off. Avrohom would be queer to us. Suppose you saw that today in Boro Park. Imagine you saw a meshulach from Eretz Yisrael walking down 13th Avenue, and a fine balabus, a tzadik, rushes out in the street and says to him, “Please don't go away from me. ... Please come to my house.”
And when the meshulach says, “No, thank you; it’s fine. I don’t feel like going inside to eat right now,” so this balabus falls down on the street; he falls down on his face to plead, “Please my master, don’t pass by. Please don’t go away from your servant.” He’s lying on the street begging this stranger to come into his house to eat something.
Suppose the people in Boro Park would see that. They would think that he’s nuts. It’s the truth – that’s what we would think; absolutely. We might appreciate it; could be we’d praise it too; but we’d think it’s too extreme.
Great people are sometimes so great that others can’t appreciate them. ... – The man of spirit, the man who is dedicated fully to Hashem, is a madman (Hoshea 9:7). It means that he appears to be a madman, a meshuganeh, in the eyes of others. The navi said that – ..., a person who has spirit is crazy in the eyes of other people. It means it’s an old story already that the avodas Hashem of great men is considered extreme by men of lesser stature.
Bearded Lunatics
I remember about thirty years ago (the Rav said these words in 1970), a man who wore a beard was considered a meshugener. If you walked through the streets of a Jewish district with a beard, they called you meshugener. I remember! It happened to me more than once. I was walking up the subways stairs and a woman, a Jewish woman, looked at me and spit directly into my face. “Meshuganeh!” she said.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to wear a beard in order to be a tzadik – today even genuine meshuganehs wear beards – but I’m just giving you an example. Anybody who demonstrates some idealism is considered a lunatic by people who lack that attitude. Very often people can’t appreciate those who are better than them. I say “very often” – it’s always the case!
The Landless Landowner
Chazal in the medrash (Vayikra Rabbah 30) tell us a story about how Rabbi Yochanan was walking on the road, past a field, with his talmid, Rabbi Chiya ben Abba. And Rabbi Chiya said to his rebbe, “Look at this beautiful field with such an abundant crop of grain growing on it.”
So Rabbi Yochanan said, “That was once my field.”
“Your field? What happened?”
“I sold it to learn Torah, so that I could sit and learn.”
Rabbi Chiya was dumbfounded. “Such great wealth you gave away?!” He didn’t say anything. He had respect; he kept his mouth closed.
Then they passed by a beautiful orchard; date trees, and figs and olives. So Rabbi Chiya said, “What a wonderful pardes this is – a beautiful orchard!”
And Rabbi Yochanan said, “It was once mine.”
“Once yours?! What happened?”
“I sold it to learn Torah.”
Weeping for Wealth
Then they passed by another place. They saw beautiful things, expensive things and again the same story. And this time when Rabbi Yochanan said, “I sold it to learn Torah,” Rabbi Chiya ben Abba couldn’t control himself anymore. He broke down and he wept when he heard that. He said, “What did you leave for yourself?” His rebbe had sold all of his property in order to learn Torah! He had come from a wealthy family and now nothing was left!
On that story the possuk is quoted, ... – If a man will give away all the wealth of his house for the sake of love on an ideal, ... – they scorn him (Shir Hashirim 8:7). People scorn a man who’s a big idealist! They don’t understand him! Rabbi Yochanan was scorned – he wasn’t actually scorned but Rabbi Chiya bar Aba, his disciple, couldn’t understand his own rebbe! Now, Rabbi Chiya bar Aba was a big idealist in his own right, but when the big idealist meets somebody who is above him, he can’t understand him.
It’s difficult to understand the greatness of somebody that’s superior to you because actually he towers with his head in the clouds far above you. He rises above this earth, above the whole universe. Now to us, it’s an impossible idea. We’re willing to go along with the idea that a tzadik is a fine man, a good man, a very good man, even superlatively good; but actually we don’t begin to understand the difference between the righteous one and the one who is less righteous. And we’ll see now that we understand even less than we imagined in our wildest dreams.
The Rasha With a Necktie
The navi foretells that there will come a time when, ... – you will come back and you will see the difference between a tzadik and a rasha (Malachi 18:3). It means that someday there’ll be a great day of judgment. There’ll be a final Day of Judgment for all those who ever lived. At that time all accounts will be settled and everyone who lived through this world will be recognized for who they were; on that day everyone “will come back and you will see the difference between a tzadik and a rasha.”
You know, in this world you think you see it but the truth is you don’t appreciate the vast difference between them. There’s an endless, an infinite difference between a tzadik and a rasha! We see tzadikim and we see reshaim and it seems to us that we understand the difference. But the navi says “You’re deceiving yourself. You don’t understand anything.”
You look at the tzadik; he wears a jacket, he wears trousers, he has a necktie. You look at the rasha, he’s also wearing trousers. Reshaim wear neckties too. You look at a tzadik, he has hair on his head, he has two eyes, a nose. You look at the rasha, the same thing. Of course you see there’s a difference, but this difference is buried under a mountain of similarities.
But one day we’ll all be sitting again at this table, and our eyes will be opened and we’ll realize that we never saw anything at all. A time will come when the wickedness and the darkness of this world will be dispelled and we’ll see the truth. ... – We will all return, ... – and we’ll see the true difference between a tzadik and a rasha.
The Other Tzadik
However, we’re going to see much more than the difference between the tzadik and the rasha. Because the possuk in Malachi adds the following: ... – On that day you’ll also see the difference between the one who served Elokim and the one who didn’t serve Elokim.
So the Gemara (Chagiga 9b) asks a question, “The navi is repeating himself. The tzadik is the one who served Elokim! And the rasha, he’s the one who didn’t serve Him. So why do you say you’ll see a difference between a tzadik and a rasha and also between the one who served Hashem and the one who didn’t serve Him? It’s repetitious.
So the Gemara answers, actually we’re talking now only about the righteous ones; we’re finished with the rasha and now we’re talking about two tzadikim gemurim, two perfectly righteous people. But there are two kinds of righteous people! Only that one is called ‘a man who served Elokim’ and the other one didn’t serve Him. Of course, both serve Elokim, but there’s a difference – a big enough difference that one can be called a servant and one not.
Hero Of A Hundred
What difference are we talking about? That’s the question the Gemara asks. What makes one an oved Elokim and one not? It must be something tremendous after all, something that lifts one tzadik way up above the other tzadik.
You’re ready for a surprising answer? Listen to this chiddush. Our sages answer, ... – There’s no comparison if one studied his chapter one hundred times and the other one studied a hundred and one times.
Here’s one person who learned his Torah lesson one hundred times. In ancient times, they reviewed many times because they didn’t have any printed seforim. They didn’t write and everything was memorized and so one who was apprehensive, he might forget, he sat and he reviewed it one hundred times until he had it kman dmanech bekufso, as if it was in his pocket.
