We mentioned last week about how a person can be doing a מצוה
מאת ר' ש. קאפלין שליט"א
We mentioned last week about how a person can be doing a מצוה – being עובד הקב"ה לשם שמים and at the same time he can be פוגם in another person’s כבוד or another person’s feelings. We made it clear that obviously there is no such licence for such behaviour. In this weeks סדרה we find a similar idea, something we can add to our daily fife.
The big hurry
The פרשה begins with the scene of אברהם אבינו sitting at the opening of his tent on a hot day, waiting for passers-by to afford him the opportunity to perform the מצוה of .אורחים three מלאכים appear in the distance, and אברהם אבינו runs to greet them to fulfil the מצוה. The ת ורה describes, וימהר אברהם האהלה " אל שרה ויאמר מהרי שלש סאים קמח סלת לושי ועשי עוגת. ואל הבקר רץ אברהם ויקח בן הבקר אברהם ,רך טוב ויתן אל הנער'י"ח ו( "... -ז') hastened to the tent to שרה and said, “Hurry! Three סאה of, sifted flour!
הכנסת Suddenly,
“We must have a balance!”
Knead and make cakes! Then אברהם ran to the cattle, took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to the youth to prepare it.
Interestingly, regarding the basic food, the bread and flour we are told that אברהם commanded his wife "מהרי" indicating to do it in a hurry – in a haste. Whereas regarding the main course – the בן בקר – the meat, the תורה tells that all אברהם did was "ויתן אל הנער", leaving out the "מהרי" – not mentioning the rush and the hurry.
The poor and rich man
There is a מצוה to give food to an ע ני – a poor fellow. There is also a מצוה of הכנסת אור חים – giving the needs to a guest, whether the guest is a poor or rich man. ר' ישראל סלנטר זצ"ל explains: When an עני comes immediately, he most probably hasn’t eaten for a few days, don’t let him wait around, feed him straight away (as we destitute to door, feed him find with the story of נחום איש גם זו in מסכת תענית, see , פ' חיי שרה תש"פ 9 גליון ). On the other hand, an עשיר who has certainly eaten in the past few hours, can wait until you cook all the food and prepare a lavish meal, and thereby not embarrassing him by making him feel like a poor man.
But now the big problem arrives: What does a person do if he does not know if his guest is an עני or an עשיר ? ר ' ישראל זצ"ל explains: Immediately give the fellow something small to eat with a small drink, and then once you are certain there is no danger from passing out from starvation, then you can go and prepare your lavish meal.
אברהם אבינו commanded to his wife שרה, "מהרי" , “Quickly! I don’t know if these guests are rich or poor… quick bring the bread and flour first… bring them something small to eat. And then, regarding the main course, there is no rush, take your time to prepare the "בן בקר" well as is fitting for a rich man; there’s no rush for that.”
Everything with consideration
Within the מצוה of הכנסת אורחים – a מצוה of בין אדם לחבירו , then again, he took everything into account. If אברהם אבינו would have given them a simple meal straight away, if they are גבירים they will be insulted – since they will be felt like עניים – being fed quickly a simple meal. Rather, he gave them something small first and only then did he bring in the main meal.
We see that not only מצוות בין אדם למקום must not affect other people’s feelings, similarly, when doing a מצוה בין אדם לחבירו, this must too, not cause any pain or affect someone’s feelings.
The חלה which is embarrassed
I once went to a שבע ברכות – Friday night, where the hall was beginning to fill up when the בעל השמחה came in. Suddenly the בעל השמחה began shouting at the caterer! What was the problem? Because the חלות weren’t covered! The caterer had forgotten to cover them!
I stood there thinking to myself, “One second… Why do we cover the חלות? Because when we make קי דוש on the wine we don’t want to embarrass the חלות. What’s פשט? If you wouldn’t cover the חלות will the חלות be embarrassed? Since when do חלות have feelings?!
In fact, the reason we cover the חלות – is for us to learn the lesson, to have feelings for others. If we feel for דומם – a static object, certainly, this will spill over and help us feel toward the feelings of a "חי" – a human being! Here, we have this fellow embarrassing the caterer! Why? Because the caterer forgot to cover the חלות ! He’s missed the point; he’s missed the purpose of why we actually cover the חלות!”
אברהם אבינו took everything into account when doing a מצוה of הכנסת א ורחים . It was done in a way which didn’t embarrass his guests.
The thief or terrorist
If we look later in the פרשה, there too, we find somebody who did the מצוה of הכנסת אורחים with tremendous מסירת נפש, however, there, חז"ל don’t reckon or describe it as anything extraordinary, as the חז"ל do with regards to אברהם אבינו. There, it is לוט looking after the two מ לאכים who came to destroy סדום . On face value it all looks moridik!
משל למה הדבר דומה, you go into שול Friday night, a שול where about 50 people daven there every week. Suddenly, you notice a stranger, a איד you’ve never met before, he looks like one of the odd ones out, the type of person whose trousers doesn’t match his jacket.
Then it occurs to you, “One second… this fellow may have nowhere to eat tonight… הכנסת א ורחים ! I surely must invite him!”
Then, you think to yourself, “But one second… I don’t know this fellow… he’s a stranger… who said he’s even Jewish? Perhaps he’s a dangerous… perhaps he’s wild… he may be a thief… he may be a spy… I can’t invite him without knowing who he is…”
As these thoughts are traveling through your mind, you then again say to yourself, “But למעשה… he’s probably a normal fellow who has nowhere to eat… I have to invite him…”
“But on the other hand, my wife is not prepared at home for an extra guest… it might be embarrassing if there is not enough food…she may be upset with me with bringing guests without letting her know…” you think to yourself.
But then again, the voice of the יצר הטוב calls out, “No! you must invite him… how can you leave the poor fellow without a place to eat…”
The contemplating “Yes… should I invite him… no… yes… no…” entire davening, back you’re there forwards,
After davening you decide, “You know what I’ll wait around and see if he has somewhere to go…”
So you sit down in the corner, pull out a ספר, make as if your learning, and you wait until the שול empties.
About five people are left, and this stranger is still there standing all alone! “Oy vey!” you think to himself, “the fellow hasn’t got anywhere to stay! I must invite him… but perhaps he’s a thief… perhaps my wife and kids will be upset…”
למעשה – you finally decide, “ הכנסת אורחים! I’m going to invite him…” You go over to him, take a deep breath and ask him, “Can I invite you for the Friday night meal?”
The fellow replies, “No thanks, it’s fine… the איד standing down there is my uncle… I’m eating by him.”
As you walk away, the big stone rolls of your chest, “Phew! I got out of that one…” perhaps he’s a terrorist…
חסד was illegal
לוט lived in a town where they didn’t allow הכנסת אורחים . It was a capital offence to take a guest into your home. He sees these two strangers, runs over to them and offers them to be his guests, "הנה נא אדני סורו נא אל בית עבדכם ולינו ורחצו ) רגליכם..." (י"ט, ב' , Behold now my lords; turnabout, please to house; spend the night and wash your feet. A gevaldiga מצוה of הכנסת אורחים! His heart is thumping away – he knows what a risk he is taking, putting himself and his family into danger.
The מלאכים reply, "לא כי ברח וב נלין..." , No, (it’s fine) rather we will spend the night in the street.
Phew! לוט got out of that one… what a מזל! He could have been in terrible trouble… servants
He doesn’t stop
But then לוט pleads and begs them, "ויפצר בם מאד", He urged them very much to be his gests! פלאי פלאים! What a צדיק he must have been! They said it was fine! He still goes and urges them to come into his house.
Finally they agreed, "ויבאו א ל ביתו" , they came to his house, "ויעש להם משתה ומצות אפה ויאכלו", he made a feast for them, and he baked matzos, and they ate.
Wow! True מסירת נפש ! He even makes for them a meal! He could have gotten out of the whole thing!
give him any praise! He חז"ל Why don’t הכנסת of מצ וה a מקיים to be מוסר נפש was !?אורחים
The eleventh child
In בני ברק there was a איד with ten children. The wife of this man had a sister who had been married for many years who unfortunately had not had any children.
ויהי היום when this family gave birth to their eleventh child!
The wife said to her husband, “Let us do the ultimate חסד. My sister has no children… let us give this child to my sister… they will look after him and bring him up nicely.”
A beautiful חסד – to give away a child! The husband agreed with a willing heart, and indeed they gave this child to her sister.
As the child grew up, the parents never told the child truth, who its true parents were.
When the child reached the age of twenty, there was a big debate whether they should tell the truth to the child. They went to ר' אלישב זצ"ל – to hear the דעת תורה perspective, whether they should tell the child or not. ר' אלישב זצ"ל took them in with his regular smile, however, as they were telling him over the story, his face began to get stonier and angrier. As they finish the story, ר' אלישב banged on the table and screamed, “Who gave you the right to do such a thing! Who פסקנד for you that you can prevent from this child a מצוה of כיבוד אב ואם for twenty years!? Who gave the היתר for such a thing?”
The parents were blown away. They thought they had a free first-class ticket to גן עדן , such מסירת נפש – such a tremendous חסד they thought they did to a childless couple!
But one second! The ת ורה tells us, "כבד !את אביך ואת אמך... "
Get your right balance
This לוט is doing a tremendous חסד – he’s doing "ויפצר בם מאד" ,הכנסת אורחים – he urged them – he convinced them!
What does he do when the town come and surround his house? ויצא אלהם לוט..." ויאמר... הנה נא לי שתי בנות אשר לא ידעו איש... ועשו להן בעינכם, רק לאנשים האל אל תעשו לוט ,דבר..." went out to them… and said… ‘See now I have two daughters who have never known a man. I shall bring them out to you, and you may do to them what stonier… getting angrier is good in your eyes; but to these men do not do nothing.”
He gives up his daughters to be מק יים the מצוה of הכנסת אורחים!
The רמב"ן writes, "שיפייס אנשי העיר בהפקר בנותיו! "? appeasing his town daughters to just go out like that?? "אין זה כי ר ע לב" – this is only coming from an evil heart!
The מדרש teaches that לוט was giving his daughters to do זנות!
I don’t know what לוט was supposed to do in such a situation, but one thing is clear – one thing is certain – הכנסת אורחים cannot be done on somebody else’s expense! Who gave him the right to do such a thing! – A crazy fellow! by letting his He’s
Don’t go crazy
We learn a very important לימוד and lesson from this: תרי"ג מצוות are not multiple choice – the entire תורה must be kept. If a person goes crazy in one area of תורה, inevitably, he’s going to spoil other parts of תורה. If a person becomes a קנאי in one מצוה automatically he will trample on other חלקים in תורה!
We have to learn to make a balance – to put things into perspective. Every מצוה must be balanced carefully.
Last week we mentioned about when doing a מצוה לשם שמים we must take peoples regards to אברהם אבינו we see that regarding a מצוה בין אדם למקום we must take peoples feelings into account, and now we learn from לוט: If you only focus on one חלק of תורה, you will trample and stumble in other areas of תורה הקדושה!
לוט made ה כנסת אורחים into his “God!” That was his only מצוה – he took it too extreme.
תורה must be kept with a perfect balance.
The paint
As a בחור I remember a group of Americans who travelled through מאה שערים – not dressed in the way one is meant to. A few קנאים – took a barrel of paint, went on top of one of the balconies and poured the paint on top of them!
The dead carcases
That week, I went to hear ר' מרדכי דרוק זצ"ל speak, and like usual, he would often speak about events which took place during the week. He quoted the following:
After doing terrible and some of the worst עבירות, the תורה at the end of the תוכחה describes, ונתתם ביד אויב" (בחוקתי כ"ו כ"ה) , I will send feeling account, with "ושלחתי דבר בתוככם pestilence among you and you will be delivered into the hand of the enemy.
רש"י explains that this פסוק implies that the dead will not receive burial. What’s פשט – why won’t the people be buried? There is a מנהג that the dead cannot be left overnight in ירושלים. The תורה warns that there will be a plague – and people will die in ירושלים. But there is a problem: the city is surrounded by the enemy and you can’t leave a מת in ירושלים overnight! So the big "מחמירים"' will come along and throw the dead people out of " ירושלים "ביד אויב – and obviously the enemy outside ירושלים will not bury them!
The תורה is speaking about people who are doing the most terrible עבירות! But when it comes to a מנהג of אין מלינים את" המת בירושלים" – they go wild – they go extreme – they throw them out to the enemy!
Continued ר' מרדכי דרוק זצ"ל : Suddenly the קנאים woke up! These קנאים threw paint being ע ובר on מזיק? What about חילול ?השם embarrassment? They were עובר on many עבירות – but when it comes to פריצות – they take it to the extreme – they go crazy over one !מצוה
To be very מקפיד in one area is very dangerous, transgress and spoil other חלקים in תורה.
We therefore must stabilise ourselves and create the perfect balance. over people! causing inevitably you will
