When Our Tefillos Seem to Be in Vain
“And Avraham Returned to His Place”
There is a story about the Divrei Yechezkel of Shinova, who davened with all his might for a fellow Yid who was incarcerated... and made herculean efforts on his behalf, but alas, the Yid was imprisoned to serve out his term. Having concluded his efforts and his tefillos, the tzaddik returned to his avodas Hashem as if nothing at all had occurred. When asked how he could go on like this after exerting himself so much for this Yid, he answered as follows (Divrei Yechezkel, Parashas Vayeira):
“The Torah tells us regarding Avraham Avinu that he petitioned Hashem on behalf of the people of Sedom. He pleaded with Hashem that if there will be fifty tzaddikim among them, they should be spared... and then he implored Hashem to spare them if there were only forty, and so forth... exerting all his efforts and supplications so that the Ribbono shel Olam would spare them—to no avail: Sedom was destroyed.
But Avraham Avinu was nevertheless not discouraged by this. He had done his part to daven for a desired outcome, and when his tefillos were not answered, it was not his affair—for he knew that all the ways of Hashem are just. And he immediately returned to his place: that is, to his initial madreigah of serving Hashem with the same passion, fervor, and joy.”
Concluded the Shinover Rav: “The holy Torah is eternal, and so this behavior is proper for every Yid throughout the millennia.”
Unheeded by the Ribbono shel Olam?
Indeed, it requires much inner fortitude for a person to move forward after his tefillos didn’t have the desired effect. After all, he invested so much tefillah, so many tears, so much desire, and so much avodah and teshuvah—as Avraham Avinu surely did, far more than we can imagine. A person will naturally feel dejected—especially if we are talking about something important that he really wanted to happen, yet it didn’t pan out.
It’s very painful.
In addition to the pain of the disappointment in things that didn’t go the way he wanted them to, a person may feel a sense of rejection. “I davened so much, and what came of it?” And although we know that no tefillah is ever wasted, and surely his tefillos were effective in some way, it’s difficult to accept this.
And so, if a person’s initial tefillah was with the attitude of “I want this, and this is the only outcome I will accept...”—that is, he didn’t say, “Hashem; do what You feel is best...”—this person will have a much harder time—for he will truly feel rejected.
But we are talking about someone who does have the proper attitude to tefillah—yet because he invested so much in his davening, and he believes in the power of tefillah, when he sees that his tefillah didn’t help, he feels an inner pain, feeling that his investment has failed. It is only natural... like the dejection when anything we invested in fails. It hurts to think that the Ribbono shel Olam didn’t look at all the energy that he invested in his tefillah—so it seems— and did “what needed to be done.”
Remaining Engaged with the Ribbono shel Olam
The great danger is that after a person has davened, and he didn’t see the yeshu’ah that he hoped for, he can be pulled into a thought that goes like this: “I believe wholeheartedly that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a tov u’meitiv, He is good and He does good, and He knows far better than I do what is good for me, and He will therefore do what is best for me... so I will go ahead and do something else with my time...I will take myself entirely out of the picture—because I believe!”
But the truth is that this isn’t the right approach. The Ribbono shel Olam wants us to remain engaged with Him—as we see clearly from this parashah. HaKadosh Baruch Hu notified Avraham that he will be overturning Sedom, and although He knew that the tefillos of Avraham would not be successful, He nevertheless wanted Avraham to daven to Him, and it was only after Avraham concluded his dialogue and his tefillos that he returned home.
When Hashem Forestalls Tefillah
HaKadosh Baruch Hu guides a person regarding what to do. When a yeshu’ah needs to come, the Ribbono shel Olam lets a person know, so that he will daven for the yeshu’ah—but sometimes He doesn’t, as the following incident related by Rav Shimshon Pinkus illustrates:
When his mother was very ill, Rav Pinkus received a call from the doctors to come at once to the hospital, as his mother was nearing her end. He immediately got into his car and hurried to the hospital. But it took an exceptionally long time to find parking, and by the time he made it to her room, she had already returned her neshamah to its Maker. Rav Pinkus was deeply upset by this—because he wished he could have davened for her to live longer. But then he concluded: Sometimes Hashem arranges events in a way precisely so that a person will be prevented from davening... because this is what Hashem in His wisdom has ordained.
Would I Conceal from Yankel What I Am About to Do?!
Indeed, sometimes Hashem opens the window to tefillah, and sometimes He closes it. In our parashah, we find incredible words. Hashem said: עושה אני אשר מאברהם אני המכסה, would I conceal from Avraham what I am about to do [in turning over Sedom]?! I will reveal it to him so that he will have the opportunity to daven.
Similarly, Hashem says when he gives a person a tzarah, R”l: “Would I conceal from Yankel what I am about to do?! Would I conceal from Berel what I am about to do?!” HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants us to know and to daven—and the proof that He wants us to know and to daven is that He has revealed it to us. (Often, things happen in a sudden manner without a person knowing about it beforehand, and he doesn’t have the opportunity to daven regarding it, R”l), If a person is aware of the tzarah, that means that HaKadosh Baruch Hu certainly announced: “I will not conceal from this person what I am about to do; I want him to daven to Me.”
But how can it be? Doesn’t Hashem know in advance that the tefillos won’t be effective?! Indeed, this parashah is teaching is that this is no contradiction—they go hand-in-hand! If a person is aware of a tzarah, it is a sign that he must daven about it and invest all his energies in his tefillah—for through this he purifies himself and brings shefah to the world! —and these tefillos are necessary right now.
The result, however, is not part of the story whatsoever.
On the one hand, he knows that he must now daven, and there is no doubt in his mind about this. He meditates on davening’s aspect of pleading. He ponders davening’s aspect of teshuvah. He thinks about davening’s aspect of bitachon. And in the end, if he sees that the result was different from what he wanted, he goes “back to his place.”
Instead of being depressed, he comes to shul with a joyful face. When asked about this, he responds: HaKadosh Baruch Hu conducted Himself with me as he did with Avraham Avinu! He revealed the tzarah to me. He gave me the opportunity to daven to Him—and to fulfill all aspects of tefillah. And in the end, He gave me the opportunity to acquire a new chelek and level in Torah, which is called למקומו שב ואברהם, Avraham returned to his place.
The Avodah of Tefillah and the Avodah of Temimus
A few years ago, a young mother in the Boyaner chassidus fell critically ill, and the entire community davened fervently for her recovery. The Boyaner Rebbe, shlit”a, too, davened along with his community as they davened and davened. In the end, the bitter news came of her passing, leaving behind a number of young orphans. When the Rebbe was notified, he commented: until now it was תפילה שומע מלך, a King Who hears prayer. Now, it is דרכו תמים מלך, a King Whose ways are whole and complete.
This is an incredible way of understanding the avodah of למקומו שב ואברהם. A person says, “Until now, I conducted the avodah of שומע מלך תפילה. I davened... bowed my heart, and I hung all my hopes on Hashem. Now that the Ribbono shel Olam has decided otherwise, I begin the avodah of דרכו, תמים מלך accepting the completeness of Hashem’s ways, and I will return to serving Hashem with joy!”
It must be emphasized that this avodah doesn’t apply only when a person has seen with definitiveness that the tefillah didn’t work—but even in the middle of his tzarah, when he sees that things aren’t improving... things remained as they were... there was no improvement in the situation... he must periodically fulfill the למקומו, שב ואברהם so he doesn’t fall into depression and despair—but continue to daven amid hope and bitachon.
