Best influence comes from friends - not parents; check Teffilin even if not in use; Show an example; Mezuzah and Tzedaka
By the Grace of G-d
13th of Teves, 5724
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Mrs. ...
Chicago
Blessing and Greeting:
I am in receipt of your letter in which you write about your son. If you will let me know his Hebrew name as well as your own Hebrew name, as is customary in such a case, I will remember him in prayer in accordance with the contents of your letter.
Generally speaking, experience shows that it is frequently easier to have the desired influence on one’s children if this influence comes from good friends rather than directly from the parents. For, nowadays children are apt to consider the advice or guidance of parents as an effort to “boss” them, in the belief that their parents do not consider them sufficiently grown-up or mature.
I suggest that you should have your son’s Tefillin checked to make sure they are Kosher, regardless of whether or not he puts them on every day. Of course, every effort should be made to persuade him to observe this Mitzva in particular, which only takes a few minutes (if one cannot find more time for it), but which has tremendous beneficial influence on the mind and the heart, as indicated by the fact that the Tefillin are put on the left arm, facing the heart, and on the head.
It should also be borne in mind that if parents want to have an influence on children, they must, first and foremost, themselves present a living example. Moreover, whatever the measure of a certain good thing that parents desire to see in their children, they themselves must have and demonstrate that quality in a much higher degree. Even if this means a special effort on the part of the parents, surely nothing is too hard for parents to do where the welfare of their children is concerned. Actually, the difficulties, if any, are more imaginary than real, and where there is a true determination to overcome them, the difficulties turn out to be much smaller than imagined.
I also suggest that you should have the Mezuzoth of your home checked, and before lighting the candles, you should put aside a small coin for Tzedoko.
Hoping to hear good news from you,
With blessing,
