הַ כְ צַ עֲ קָ תָ הּ הַ בָ אָ ה אֵ לַ י יח כא
Your Highest Points Throughout Your Life Reflect the Real True You
Rashi says that Hashem heard the cries of the young girl who was tortured to death by the Sodomites because she risked her life to do Chesed, and this sealed the fate of Anshei Sedom. Why was their fate sealed specifically because of this episode? We can also ask that perhaps a Sedomi simply doesn’t have those good Middos of compassion for other humans; so why are they held guilty? We can suggest that these two questions answer each other....
When we have a Sedomi girl who is Moser Nefesh for Chesed, especially according to Chazal who say that it was Lot’s daughter; NOW Sedom is finished! This girl’s mother went against her husband, Lot, when he did Chesed, and as a result she turned into a pillar of salt. And Chazal say that girls naturally copy their mothers; yet, she was full of goodness!
The same with Amalek. If Germany can produce a Stigler, who is Moser Nefesh to help an enemy, then the Germans cannot say “it’s not their fault” for being such a heartless nation.
The Alter of Novardok Zatzal says that if you once did a great thing, then forever it becomes a: יעְָבְִת ְה demand: “Why don’t you continue being your true-self?” Of course, in our Dor it isn’t always K'dai (worthwhile) to go around living up to what you once did.
Despite your failures in certain areas, be basically proud of your positive side, & view the negative like temporary insanity. Give yourself a high Shtempel, & try to live up to your good name. Keep “reminding” yourself of your “greatness”!
Yet, keeping a diary is of utmost importance; to record your great deeds; your Nissim of Hashgacha Pratis, and your answered Tefilos. RSRH Zatzal says that in Lashon HaKodesh the word: זָכָר (male) is similar to: כְָזְִרוֹן (memory) since a: זָכָר (male) learns Torah and he needs to remember. In general, keeping a diary like this will change your life, and you won’t be so Nis'pael from your new Nisyonos when the Yeshuos of the old ones are constantly reviewed.
And remembering your stormy past or unfortunate youth can help you immeasurably, not to demand from yourself what a person in your shoes simply isn’t capable of doing. Instead of always measuring yourself with other people and Gedolei Yisroel, measure yourself with yourself. You’ll know yourself better & you’ll Shteig much more, with Hashem’s help.
P.S. Notice how right after Hagar and Yishmael are sent away from Avraham Avinu’s house, Hagar heard the report that: כִ יְל גוֹיְגָדוֹלְאֲ שִ ימֶ נוּ her son will become a great nation, and right after: ש נוּאָ הְל אָ ה Leah’s rejection, comes: וַיִ פ תַ חְ אֶ תְְרַ ח מָ הּ she had a child. So right after you have feelings of rejection, expect big Yeshuos, with Hashem’s help!
TRUE STORY
A Yungerman heard about my many stories about changing people’s lives by seeing good in them, and he was skeptical. “Maybe this happens by other people, but by me, I can’t imagine such total magic”. Recently, his teenage son acted up, and started terrorizing the whole family with plenty of anger and Chutzpa against his parents.
All he did was hurt others all day long. I told his father to work on seeing only good in his son, etc. He and his wife spent 3 minutes a day discussing “how good” and how “nice” their son was. They were constantly Dan him L'kaf Zechus, since all his life he had learning disabilities and ADHD, etc. After one week, this boy became a new person, Mamash.
It was unbelievable how this same boy suddenly became a big Baal Derech Eretz, loaded with Eidelkeit and refined Middos! The parents are Mamash on a high, and cannot believe the Nisei Nissim that their tiny Avoda in Ayin Tova has caused.
