וַיִּ שְ נְ אוּ אֹ תוָֹׂוְ ל ֹא יָכְ לוּ דַ בְ רוֹ לְ שָ לֹם לז ד
וְל ֹאָׂ י כְ לוָּׂ ד בְ רוָֹׂ לְ שׁ לֹםָָׂׂלזָׂ ד The brothers of Yosef could not say a peaceful word to him. Their Sin'ah was obvious, and yet, Yosef tells them a very boisterous dream. And sure enough.... ו יוֹסִ פוָּׂ עוֹדָׂ שְ נ ֹאָׂ אֹ תוָָֹׂׂלזָׂ הָׂ they hated him even more. Yosef seems to be looking for trouble! And then, he tells an even more boisterous dream, in which even his father and mother are bowing down to him. Again and again, he “asks” for more and more trouble! Not only doesn’t he mind being hated by everybody; he asks for more!
This is true Malchus, since a Melech is a higher being who doesn’t need people’s approval. Except that by Yosef, he continuously looks to get more and more criticism, and from the entire Jewish world of his generation (his brothers)! RSRH Zatzal explains a Passuk in Tehilim in which Dovid feels like everybody hates him, and it doesn’t bother him.
He also mentions how when people help him, it also means nothing to him. Like it says in Chovos Halvavos: א יןָׂה תוֹע ל תָׂוְה נ ז קָׂמִ ןָׂה נִ בְ ר אָָׂׂ א ל אָׂמִ ןָׂה בוֹר א People cannot help you or harm you; only Hashem can. There is a striking similarity between Yosef and Dovid; both had loads of enemies! And Jewish ones! And Gedolei Yisroel! Hashem tests a person to see if he is fitting for Malchus, and a true Melech doesn’t need humans! He has Hashem!
Not like: ה מוֹןָׂע ם typical people, who as soon as they aren’t getting the approval, recognition, and the Kavod that they feel they deserve, they already can’t sleep at night. They cannot handle criticism and rejection, which Dovid and Yosef were loaded with.
Dovid and Yosef are not like Eisav, who can’t handle someone getting the better of him, and he melts when Yaakov gives him loads of: ת ָׂמ ָׂנוֹת gifts and: כ ָׂבוֹדָׂמְָׂכִָׂל ָׂים royal treatment. This is their life! Getting Kavod and no Bizayon from each other! Especially when it’s appropriate to get Kavod, like from relatives and friends, etc. Now they have the Torah on their side (Eisav), proving those who are M'vazeh them, wrong.
In our simple understanding, Yosef doesn’t need Kavod because he respects himself. Of course, we have no real understanding of these giants, but for our own Mussar Haskel (down-to-earth lesson), when a person is constantly building himself up and appreciating the Maalos that Hashem gave him, he doesn’t need Kavod, and he isn’t busy proving his own worth by living off the compliments of others.
Twice Yosef tells dreams, where he is better than his whole family. And to the wife of Potiphar, he says: א ינ נוָּׂג דוֹלָׂב ב יִתָׂה ז הָׂמִ מ נִ יָׂוישבָָׂׂ לטָׂ ט I am the greatest person around here. And when the Shevotim said: ע בְ דְ ךָָׂא בִ ינוּ “Our father (Yaakov), your slave” about his father, he didn’t protest (and he lost 10 years of life because of this). When Yaakov said that Yosef should stand behind his mother (when facing Eisav), he switched and he went ahead of her. There is no question that he had tremendous respect for himself, and he had zero interest in having other people agree with the high opinion he had of himself. THIS is true Malchus!
