When discussing the story of mechiras Yosef, we must first realize that we don't understand anything of the ways of the שבטי ה"י, the holy shevatim, the twelve children of Yaakov Avinu. They were all holy and beloved, and their greatness is immeasurable. The only reason we discuss their machlokes with Yosef [which the sefarim say was essentially a machlokes in differing paths of avodas Hashem] is that it is written in the Torah, so we can learn the severity of machlokes, and the importance of increasing peace.
It states (37:18) אֲל ֵיהֶם יִקְרַב וּבְטֶרֶם מֵר ָחֹק אֹתוֹ וַיִּרְ אוּ לַהֲמ ִיתוֹ אֹתוֹ וַיִּת ְ נַכְּ לוּ, "They saw him from afar; and when he had not yet approached them, they conspired against him to kill him." The Toras Chaim of Kosov (ויראו ה"ד) says that this pasuk is hinting to us the way hatred develops. It begins מֵר ָחֹק אֹתוֹ וַיִּרְ אוּ, a slight feeling of hatred, a slight feeling of distance. But in the end לַהֲמ ִיתוֹ אֹתוֹ וַיִּת ְ נַכְּ לוּ, they consider killing him, r'l. Therefore, we must be cautious to stay away from machlokes, even from its tiny beginnings.
We quote the Toras Chaim: "The Torah is hinting that a person must distance himself, as far as possible, from sinas chinam. Because at first, it seems that he doesn't love him so much, as hinted in the words מֵר ָחֹק אֹתוֹ וַיִּרְ אוּ, they saw him from afar... This small hatred will lead, chas v'shalom, to לַהֲמ ִיתו אֹתוֹ וַיִּת ְ נַכְּ לוּ, 'they conspired against him to kill him.' For this is the way of the yetzer hara. Today he tells you to do this..." On the contrary, a person should seek to increase peace, as the Tiferes Shlomo (נא לך ה"ד) explains the pasuk (37:14) אַח ֶיךָ ש ְׁלוֹם אֶת רְאֵה נָא לֶ ךְ, "Go now and see the peace of your brothers..."
A person should always focus on the good qualities of his fellow man and their perfections rather than their faults, and thereby, there will be peace in Klal Yisrael.
Once, the Chofetz Chaim zt'l was in the home of Reb Nachumke Kaplan zt'l on Chanukah. It was time to light Chanukah lecht, but Reb Nachumke waited to light until his Rebbetzin got home. The Chofetz Chaim asked his Rebbe why he waited, since halachah clearly states one should light at the proper time, even if some people aren't home.
Reb Nachumke replied, “My wife will be upset if I light the Chanukah lecht without her, so it is a matter of shalom bayis. Chazal say עדיף בית שלום, shalom bayis is more important than Chanukah lecht. So, according to halachah, I should wait until my wife comes home."
It states in this week's parashah (38:7) ויהי 'ה וימיתהו 'ה בעיני רע יהודה בכור ער, "Er, Yehudah's firstborn, was evil in the eyes of Hashem, and Hashem caused him to die." However, the Torah doesn't tell us in which way Er was evil. However, in the following pasukim, we discover Er's aveirah. When discussing his brother Onan's aveirah, it states גם וימת אותו, Hashem caused him also to die. The Gemara understands from the words אותו גם that both brothers died for the same aveirah. The Torah tells us the aveiros of אונן, and we understand that Er had the same aveirah. But why does the Torah only tell us the aveirah when discussing אונן, and not when discussing ער? The Chida (Midbar Kedamos 'ח מערכת 'ו אות) writes in the name of Reb N. Shapiro, author of Matzas Shimurim, that ער's aveirah was only to heaven, but אונן's aveirah was worse, because it was also to people. As the Torah says, זרע נתן לבלתי ...הזרע יהיה לו לא כי אונן וידע לאחיו, "Onan knew that the child would not be his..." so he didn't perform yibum, "as not to provide offspring for his brother." His aveirah was worse because it was also ben adam l'chaveiroh. He wasn't interested in helping his deceased brother. Therefore, when discussing the aveirah ben adam l'makom, which was the same for both of them, the Torah only mentions it by Onan. The Torah chooses to write the aveiros when discussing Onan because he transgressed the severe aveirah of ben adam l'chaveiroh.
At the end of the parashah, it states (40:5-6) ח ֲלֹמוֹ כְּפִת ְרוֹן אִישׁ אֶחָד בְּל ַיְלָה ח ֲלֹמוֹ אִישׁ שְׁנֵיהֶם חֲלוֹם וַיַּח ַלְ מוּ, "The two of them dreamt a dream on the same night; each one according to the interpretation of his dream..." Chazal explain that in addition to their dreams, each one dreamt the explanation of their fellow man's dream. The Sar HaMashkim saw in his dream that the Sar Ha'Ofim would be killed in three days, and the Sar Ha'Ofim saw that the Sar HaMashkim would be reinstated.וַיָּבֹא זֹעֲפ ִים וְה ִנָּם אֹתָם וַיַּרְא בַּבֹּקֶר יוֹסֵף אֲל ֵיהֶם, "Yosef came to them in the morning and he saw that they were aggrieved." The Pnei Menachem asks why the Sar Ha'Ofim was sad? He saw the meaning of the Sar HaMashkim's dream, that he would live and work again for Pharaoh. Perhaps this was a sign that his dream was also positive. Why was he downcast? Why does it state, זֹעֲפ ִים וְה ִנָּם, 'they were aggrieved'?
The Pnei Menachem answers that the Sar Ha'Ofim was sad to see that his partner in prison would go free and attain a high-ranking position. He was upset that good was coming upon another. Due to his ayin ra, his evil eye, he wasn't saved.
