Everyone likes to be accepted by others. It gives them pleasure when others listen to what they have to say, when friends and neighbors are eager to spend time with them. Many people invest considerable time and effort in discovering how to gain acceptance by their peers. They work hard at making an impression on others, and the impression they leave is just what they are out to accomplish – namely, to make an impression.
The Chovos Halevavos explains (ch. 5) that when a person’s bitachon is firmly established he enjoys better relationships with others. His family and neighbors, his business associates, his chavrusas and the members of his shul – they’re all happy to spend time with him. He doesn’t try to fool anyone; he lives with the simple truth that Hashem runs the world, and He is the One Who brings us together. It is He Who provides everything we need.
A person with bitachon knows that Hashem alone is the Master of all that takes place – and of all that doesn’t take place, even if he had hoped that it would. And because it all comes from a loving Father, he is convinced that it is all for the good. With this attitude, how can he blame others? How can he hold a grudge, or envy others? How can he act condescendingly toward anyone?
The true ba’al bitachon accepts every fault and shortcoming of others with a special understanding: Hashem has a reason for it to be as it is. Where does one find the strength to relate to all types of people in this way? Only from a deep awareness that it is not his fellow man Who is causing him pain or disappointment; it is only Hashem. No human being has the power to override Hashem’s will. Therefore, no one needs to be afraid that others will cause him harm; nor can others give him pleasure, unless Hashem has decided that it be so.
What distinguishes the ba’al bitachon? He has worked to cultivate a keen awareness of Hashem’s hashgachah; not so one who fails to delve into this matter. Both can conduct their lives as kosher Jews. But without bitachon, the latter will be nervous about what will happen to him, what people will say about him. In addition, he expects people – not Hashem – to do him favors, and he is disappointed when they don’t come to his aid.
The ba’al bitachon is free of anxiety. He is honest and straightforward, without fear that others will harm him. He knows that only Hashem determines his fate. If his neighbor Yitzchak opens a store selling the same type of goods that he sells, he doesn’t worry. He knows that his parnassah lies in the Hands of the Creator. With all his heart he wishes Yitzchak much success. In fact, he might think to himself, “Maybe now I’ll have more free time, because some of my customers will buy from Yitzchak instead of from me.”
How can he be so relaxed about having another competitor, and a neighbor, at that? It’s because he’s fully confident that, with or without Yitzchak’s new store, at the end of the year he will have received every cent that Hashem decreed for him this past Rosh Hashanah.
Engraved upon his heart are the words of Chazal (Yoma 38b), “No one can take anything from that which has been decreed for a person,” and as Rashi explains: A person should not worry and say, “So-and-so will take away from my parnassah.”
Consider the example of someone who hasn’t achieved much bitachon. We’re shopping at Danny’s hardware store. How do we feel when Danny starts telling us that his chief competitor’s goods are stolen or inferior? There’s a good chance that we won’t patronize Danny’s store again. In the end, Danny loses out.
In contrast, the ba’al bitachon welcomes a customer by saying, “Here’s what I have to offer you. As for the competition, it’s fine with me if you check them out too.” The ba’al bitachon isn’t worried; he knows that no one can deprive him of whatever Hashem has decreed will be his.
Here’s another example: Yankel is sitting in the beis medrash. Avigdor passes by and, by hashgachah pratis, spills his steaming-hot coffee on Yankel. Since Yankel is a ba’al bitachon, he accepts Avigdor’s apology with a smile. Hashem wanted this to happen, he tells himself. It’s not Avigdor; it’s min haShamayim. Yankel doesn’t have to fight back his anger; he’s simply not angry. His instinctive response is that there’s nothing to complain about. It came from Hashem, and therefore it’s for the good.
A Jew who cultivates his middah of bitachon on a regular basis is popular with others. They don’t fear that he might harm them or cause them a loss. A ba’al bitachon won’t touch anything that isn’t his. He believes that Hashem provides for every creation in His world. Surely He will send him whatever he needs in this world, through his honest dealings, without any need for deception or theft, chas v’shalom.
Such a Jew is trusworthy. Loyalty is acquired not through external pressure and persuasion but through honest and true leadership, which stems from one’s inner character. To be trustworthy is an enormous virtue, as Shlomo Hamelech teaches (Mishlei 28:20), “Ish emunos rav brachos.”
The Midrash interprets this passuk to mean that Hakadosh Baruch Hu brings blessings through a person who is trustworthy.
May we learn and be strengthened more and more in faith and confidence, and may we enjoy the brachos of abundant blessings and success; amen.
From Lesson 239 of Sha’ar Habitachon. To listen to this shiur, press 4 after selecting a language, or dial directly, 02-301-1904
