Mordechai, whose son is starting yeshivah next year, saw me learning with my son at Avos Ubanim. Afterwards, Mordechai said, “I see your son is learning so nicely. Yeshivah Yeled Tov must do a great job! Do you recommend it?” The problem is that I don’t recommend Yeled Tov. I’m in the final year there with my youngest child and I’ve seen it all. It’s poorly run and the rebbeim did not connect with my sons. The only reason my son learns so nicely is because I put a lot of effort into him. Can I tell Mordechai: “I don’t recommend this yeshivah?”
THE DILEMMA
THE HALACHAH
Yes, but you should not give a blanket negative report about the yeshivah. Speaking negatively about an institution is also loshon hora, but if it will prevent a loss to someone, it is permitted. But saying “I don’t recommend it” is too vague. Rather, Aryeh should ask Mordechai for specific questions, and when he answers, he should add some positive points about the yeshivah (“The yeshivah has some very good boys.”) Aryeh should not put down the yeshivah as a whole. Furthermore, if Aryeh’s son had a specific issue, Aryeh should mention that. It could be that the yeshivah was not suited to Aryeh’s son.
Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy, shlita. For discussion only; pls consult a rav. From Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation's Shabbos Menu [email protected].
