In a billion years, we’ll never understand how such giants like the Shevotim could have a real Shaychus with Sin'as Chinam. However, we can suggest that the reason why there was some Chet in this area, was because they had all bowed down to Eisav HaRasha, and Eisav was the symbol of brother hating, as it says: his hatred lasts forever. Just meeting such a person, and having Hachna'a to him, can affect a person negatively.
How important it is to stick around a pure Ben-Torah and Yiras Shamayim-type of people who have good Middos. Being exposed to the evils of the world can be very unhealthy for your Neshama. So run to the Bais Medrash as much as possible! On the flip side, we find a striking Ma'ala of Eisav, when he told Yaakov “Keep what you have, since: I have plenty”.
A person who hates his brother and has antisemitism, is an unhappy, dissatisfied person. And this is why he lets out his anger on other people; he blames them for all his shortcomings, and gets involved in all kinds of perverted N'kama (revenge) pleasures, like Jihad, etc. We can suggest that Eisav’s meeting Yaakov had an effect on him. Yaakov was a total Sameach B'chelko person, since he was a true Baal Bitachon in Hashem; which is why he said: I have EVERYTHING.
So when Eisav met the holy Yaakov, Yaakov’s Kedusha affected him, and Eisav said: I have plenty (i.e. mostly everything, almost like Yaakov’s: I have EVERYTHING). Also, kissing Yaakov affected him, since from Yaakov came unbelievable love and warmth for every human, and this affected Eisav. Yaakov was a piece of goodness and love; he called total strangers a brother. (And with his own children he was like a brother and a pal. (Rashi)). According to the Alter of Slabodka Zatzal, when he said “Seeing your face is like seeing the face of Hashem” he really meant it, since Eisav was a Tzelem Elokim, despite his wickedness, and Yaakov only saw good in people. Quite possibly he also wanted to be M'karev Eisav, and he tried to build him up more and more, so that when he realizes that he’s a Tzelem Elokim, he would try to improve himself.
When a person truly realizes his own greatness, he doesn’t have Kin'ah or Sin'as Chinam. (R’ Shlomo Wolbe Zatzal). Here, Yaakov was trying to give Eisav some healthy Slabodka Mussar. Although Eisav wasn’t lacking in Ga'ava, the true Ga'ava (lifting your heart in the service of Hashem) he didn’t have. Notice how Yaakov kept telling Eisav that: “My children are delicate, and it’s too hard for them to keep up with you”.
Surely Yaakov was actually afraid that they shouldn’t be under Eisav’s influence, and Rashi says that the reason why Yaakov waited to give Reuven Mussar was because he might get upset and go after Eisav. How important it is to keep away from the nations of the world, and in our long bitter Galus we have certainly picked up plenty Goyish’keit, Rachmana Litzlan.
R’ Chaim Halpern Zatzal told me that saying: “You take that from him?” is straight from the Eisav mentality and the opposite of giving in and working on Middos. A true Yid has to always be in a breaking Middos mode, and doing the opposite of his base Retzonos. You can be loaded with all forms of Yiddishkeit. Dress like a Malach, with a beard, Payos etc. and be super Tz'niyus; Lig in Shas and Tzidkus, Frumkeit, and Dikduk HaMitzvos, and yet be very close to Eisav mentality. If Middos doesn’t take a #1 priority, you’ll have plenty politics and Sin'as Chinam, Chas V'shalom.
Rashi says that the reason why Yaakov waited to give Reuven Mussar was because he might get upset and go after Eisav. How important it is to keep away from the nations of the world, and in our long bitter Galus we have certainly picked up plenty Goyish’keit, Rachmana Litzlan.
