How to Deal with Temptation and Toxic Thoughts
The Yeshiva.net | December 13, 2025
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How to Deal with Temptation and Toxic Thoughts

The Yeshiva.net | December 31, 2025

A Rare Musical Note in the Torah Captures the Struggle and how to Overcome It

Rabbi YY Jacobson
December 11, 2025

Dedicated by Harry and Dina Dornbusch, in deep gratitude to Hashem for His boundless blessings, and with heartfelt prayers for the immediate and complete refuah shleima of Chaya Mushka bas Chava Yael.

Biblical Music

The Torah is well known as a book of words. Less known is the fact that it is a book of tunes. Each word of the Torah contains a musical note with which it is read and sung in synagogues whenever the Torah is read publicly.

This is what makes the reading of the Torah a challenging task. Since these notes are not transcribed in the Torah itself—they were transmitted orally from generation to generation—the person reading the Torah must memorize the appropriate note for each word.

These musical notes, passed down from Moses through the generations, are extremely meticulous and significant. They often expose us to a word's or a sentence's depth that we would never have appreciated from the word or sentence itself.

One of the rarest and most unusual musical notes in the Torah is known in Hebrew as the "shalsheles." No other written musical note of the Torah is rendered in a repetitive style except the shalsheles, which stubbornly repeats itself three times. The graphic notation of this note, too, looks like a streak of lightning, a "zigzag movement," a mark that goes repeatedly backward and forward.

This unique musical note appears no more than four times in all of the Torah, three times in Genesis and once in Leviticus. One of them is in this week's portion, Vayeishev, at a moment of high moral and psychological drama.

The Refusal

Here is the story:

Joseph is an extremely handsome teenager and his father Jacob's favorite child. He is sold into slavery by his brothers, who loathe him. Displayed on the Egyptian market, he is bought by a prominent Egyptian citizen, Potiphar, who ultimately chooses the slave to become the head of his household. There, Joseph attracts the lustful imagination of his master's wife. She desperately tries to engage him in a relationship, yet he steadfastly refuses her.

Here is the Torah's description:

"Joseph was well-built and handsome in his appearance. After a while, his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, 'Come to bed with me.' But he refused.

He said: 'With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against G-d?'"

Over the verb "but he refused," tradition has placed a shalsheles, the thrice-repeated musical note.

What is the significance of this rare note on this particular verb, so rare in the Torah?

There is one more intriguing detail in this narrative, concerning Joseph's response to the woman's proposition. When his master's wife asks him to lie with her, we would expect Joseph to first explain to her why he cannot accept her offer, and then conclude by saying “no.” Yet the Torah tells us that the first thing Joseph did was refuse her. Only afterward does he justify his refusal. Why?

I will offer two fascinating interpretations. One comes from the 13th-century Spanish sage and commentator, Rabbi Yosef Ibn Caspi (1280-1345), in his commentary on this verse. The other comes from one of the great Polish Chassidic masters, Rabbi Yechezkel Shraga Halberstam (1815-1898), known as "the Shinever Rav," in his work Divrei Yechezkel.

The Struggle

According to Joseph Ibn Caspi, the musical note captures Joseph's inner doubt. The shalsheles is an unusual note. It goes up and down, up and down, as if unable to move forward to the next note, and it was meant to convey a psychological state of uncertainty and indecision. The graphic notation of the shalsheles itself looks like a streak of lightning, a "zigzag movement," a mark that goes repeatedly backwards and forwards. It conveys frozen motion, in which the agent is torn by inner conflict. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks defines it in an essay as "the music of ambivalence."

We can imagine, writes Rabbi Sacks, the conflict in Joseph's mind at that moment. On the one hand, his entire moral sense said No. It would be a betrayal of everything his family stood for: their ethic of moral propriety and their strong sense of identity as children of the covenant. It would also be, as Joseph himself says, a betrayal of the Creator, and of Potiphar himself: "With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"

And yet the temptation, tradition tells us, was intense. Joseph is a 17-year-old slave in a foreign country. He does not even own his body; his master exercises full control over his life, as was the fate of all ancient slaves. Joseph has not a single friend or relative in the world. One could only imagine his loneliness.

Joseph would not need to return home in the evening to face a dedicated spouse or a spiritual father, nor would he have to go back to a family or a community of moral standing. His family's reputation would not be besmirched. He would remain alone after the event, just as he was alone before it.

In addition, we must recall the power possessed by this Egyptian noblewoman who was inciting Joseph. The Talmud describes the techniques she used to persuade Joseph. "Every day," the Talmud says, "the wife of Potiphar would attempt to seduce him with words. Cloth she wore for him in the morning, she would not wear for him in the evening. Cloth she wore for him in the evening, she would not wear for him in the morning. She said to him, 'Surrender yourself to me.' He answered her 'No.' She threatened him, 'I shall confine you in prison...I shall subdue your proud stature...I will blind your eyes,'" but Joseph refused her. She then gave him a huge sum of money, but he did not budge.

At the end, she followed through on her threat, having him incarcerated in prison in an Egyptian dungeon on the false charges that he attempted to violate her. (At the end, he was freed after 12 years.)

The Talmud gives a graphic description of his inner torment:

"The image of his father appeared to him in the window and said, 'Joseph, your brothers' names are destined to be inscribed on the stones of the [high priest's] apron, and you will be among them. Do you want your name to be erased? Do you want to be called an adulterer?'"

The shalsheles is an elegant commentary on Joseph's struggle. A slave, with no realistic hope of rescue, was he to become an Egyptian, with all the promiscuity that implied? Or would he remain faithful to his past, his conscience, his identity?

In the end, Joseph refuses, but not without deep inner struggle.

Rabbi Joseph Ibn Caspi, writing in the 13th century, adds a vulnerable comment about himself: It is quite possible, he writes, that someone else with the same name would have chosen another path... He is referring to himself, as his name was Yosef, suggesting that he might have failed under those circumstances.

A Thundering No

How did Joseph overcome the enormous challenge?

This too is captured (according to the Divrei Yechezkel) by the rare musical note of the Shlasheles. Joseph may have suffered internally from ambivalence. But once he made the decision, he was all in.

Aware of the danger in front of him, Joseph presented the woman with a thundering "no." As the thrice-repetitive "shalsheles" note suggests, Joseph, in unwavering determination, declared three times: "No! No! No!" Forget about it, I will not do this! No buts, ifs, or maybes.

Once Joseph decided on his course of action, there was no negotiation, no giving in. Only afterward did Joseph allow himself the indulgence of the rational argument against adultery.

When it comes to temptation, addiction, and toxic cravings and thoughts, you can't become a negotiator, because then you will remain in the obsessive loop of anxiety and addiction. You must be determined, ruthless, and single-minded. You must, with calm conviction, repeat the same "no" over and over again. Never allow room for nuance, negotiation, or ambivalence.

The moment you begin explaining and justifying your behavior, you are likely to lose the battle. Only after an absolute and non-negotiable "no" can you proceed with the intellectual argument behind your decision.

The Push

There is an insightful expression about the way a person should deal with immoral and destructive thoughts, impulses, and fantasies. "You must push them away with both of your hands," says the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schnuer Zalman of Liadi in his Tanya.

What does it mean to push away a thought "with two hands?"

At times, you can push away a negative thought with one hand only. By fighting and arguing with the thought and the impulse, you give it validation. In effect, while pushing it away with one hand, you are inviting it to return with your second hand.

If you engage in these types of internal arguments and debates, you always lose. It is exactly what these thoughts hope for: To keep you locked into an endless loop of self-criticism, guilt, shame, and anxiety.

Pushing an impulse away with two hands means that you simply and silently dismiss it from your brain. Without argument, fanfare, or drama, you let it go. You make it very clear that you will not be going down that rabbit hole, and you must move on to alternative thoughts and actions. You do not validate it in any way, not even by arguing against it. You simply do not attribute any power or significance to it. That is what we call pushing it away "with both hands."

You do it without guilt or shame, without blaming yourself for how bad and sick you are. You do it with regulation and calmness, knowing who you really are at your core, and how you want to show up to life right now. From a regulated space, you allow these thoughts to pass through you, like the black clouds in the sky, so the sun can begin shining.

At a later point, you will have the serenity and mental bandwidth to discover the origin of these thoughts, why and how they developed, and how to unburden them from their need to drive you mad. For those of us who deal with anxiety and an inner critic who never goes on vacation, we will have to take time to address the origin of these thoughts, so that we do not suffer endlessly. But right now, in the heat and anxiety of the moment, learn how to let go of these nasty thoughts with a quiet grace, and without an argument, coming from your inner self-respect and clarity.

That is why the Hebrew word, "and he refused, Vayemaen," is the same letters as the Hebrew word "and he believed, Vayaaman," because the power to refuse these thoughts with such calm and conviction comes from your deep faith in G-d and in your own Divinity. You have an inner knowing that this action and these thoughts are a betrayal of G-d and of your own deepest truth. That faith allows you to avoid the confusion of not knowing who you are and how you want to proceed. You can just say: "This is not what I want for my life."

In this story of Joseph, then, we are given a timeless lesson of how to deal with disturbing, immoral, and debilitating thoughts and inclinations. Do not try to strike deals with them, or to convince them otherwise. They are fighting for their life, and will do anything to keep you stuck. Just say: No! No! No! We are not going down this path.

They will accuse you of being ignorant, dishonest, and stupid. So what? You will come out with a happier marriage and a meaningful life.

(Please make even a small and secure contribution to help us continue our work. Click here.)

References:

  • Genesis 19:16; 24:12; 39:8; Leviticus 8:23.
  • Genesis 39:6-9.
  • https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation/vayera/the-music-of-ambivalence/
  • In the continuation of the narrative, the Torah states (Genesis 39:11-12): "There was an opportune day when he entered the house to do his work, and none of the household staff was inside. She grabbed him by his cloak and pleaded, 'Lie with me.' He ran away from her, leaving his cloak in her hand, and he fled outside." What is the meaning of the phrase that Joseph "entered the house do to his work, and none of the household staff was inside?" What type of work did Joseph come to do? The Midrash suggests that the "work" Joseph came to do was to yield to the advances of his master's wife. After all of her unceasing pleas, Joseph finally succumbed. Only at the last moment did he abstain (Bereishis Rabah 87:7. Tanchumah 8-9. Zohar Vayechi 222a. See also Soteh 36b, quoted in Rashi to Genesis ibid).
  • Yuma 36a.
  • Soteh 36b.
  • Tanya chapter 12.
  • This essay on based on Divrei Yechezkel by the great Chassidic master Rabbi Yechezkel Shraga Halberstam, known as "the Shinever Rav," as well as Tanya chapters 27-28.

A Rare Musical Note in the Torah Captures the Struggle and how to Overcome It

Rabbi YY Jacobson
December 11, 2025

Dedicated by Harry and Dina Dornbusch, in deep gratitude to Hashem for His boundless blessings, and with heartfelt prayers for the immediate and complete refuah shleima of Chaya Mushka bas Chava Yael.

Biblical Music

The Torah is well known as a book of words. Less known is the fact that it is a book of tunes. Each word of the Torah contains a musical note with which it is read and sung in synagogues whenever the Torah is read publicly.

This is what makes the reading of the Torah a challenging task. Since these notes are not transcribed in the Torah itself—they were transmitted orally from generation to generation—the person reading the Torah must memorize the appropriate note for each word.

These musical notes, passed down from Moses through the generations, are extremely meticulous and significant. They often expose us to a word's or a sentence's depth that we would never have appreciated from the word or sentence itself.

One of the rarest and most unusual musical notes in the Torah is known in Hebrew as the "shalsheles." No other written musical note of the Torah is rendered in a repetitive style except the shalsheles, which stubbornly repeats itself three times. The graphic notation of this note, too, looks like a streak of lightning, a "zigzag movement," a mark that goes repeatedly backward and forward.

This unique musical note appears no more than four times in all of the Torah, three times in Genesis and once in Leviticus. One of them is in this week's portion, Vayeishev, at a moment of high moral and psychological drama.

The Refusal

Here is the story:

Joseph is an extremely handsome teenager and his father Jacob's favorite child. He is sold into slavery by his brothers, who loathe him. Displayed on the Egyptian market, he is bought by a prominent Egyptian citizen, Potiphar, who ultimately chooses the slave to become the head of his household. There, Joseph attracts the lustful imagination of his master's wife. She desperately tries to engage him in a relationship, yet he steadfastly refuses her.

Here is the Torah's description:

"Joseph was well-built and handsome in his appearance. After a while, his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, 'Come to bed with me.' But he refused.

He said: 'With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against G-d?'"

Over the verb "but he refused," tradition has placed a shalsheles, the thrice-repeated musical note.

What is the significance of this rare note on this particular verb, so rare in the Torah?

There is one more intriguing detail in this narrative, concerning Joseph's response to the woman's proposition. When his master's wife asks him to lie with her, we would expect Joseph to first explain to her why he cannot accept her offer, and then conclude by saying “no.” Yet the Torah tells us that the first thing Joseph did was refuse her. Only afterward does he justify his refusal. Why?

I will offer two fascinating interpretations. One comes from the 13th-century Spanish sage and commentator, Rabbi Yosef Ibn Caspi (1280-1345), in his commentary on this verse. The other comes from one of the great Polish Chassidic masters, Rabbi Yechezkel Shraga Halberstam (1815-1898), known as "the Shinever Rav," in his work Divrei Yechezkel.

The Struggle

According to Joseph Ibn Caspi, the musical note captures Joseph's inner doubt. The shalsheles is an unusual note. It goes up and down, up and down, as if unable to move forward to the next note, and it was meant to convey a psychological state of uncertainty and indecision. The graphic notation of the shalsheles itself looks like a streak of lightning, a "zigzag movement," a mark that goes repeatedly backwards and forwards. It conveys frozen motion, in which the agent is torn by inner conflict. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks defines it in an essay as "the music of ambivalence."

We can imagine, writes Rabbi Sacks, the conflict in Joseph's mind at that moment. On the one hand, his entire moral sense said No. It would be a betrayal of everything his family stood for: their ethic of moral propriety and their strong sense of identity as children of the covenant. It would also be, as Joseph himself says, a betrayal of the Creator, and of Potiphar himself: "With me in charge, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?"

And yet the temptation, tradition tells us, was intense. Joseph is a 17-year-old slave in a foreign country. He does not even own his body; his master exercises full control over his life, as was the fate of all ancient slaves. Joseph has not a single friend or relative in the world. One could only imagine his loneliness.

Joseph would not need to return home in the evening to face a dedicated spouse or a spiritual father, nor would he have to go back to a family or a community of moral standing. His family's reputation would not be besmirched. He would remain alone after the event, just as he was alone before it.

In addition, we must recall the power possessed by this Egyptian noblewoman who was inciting Joseph. The Talmud describes the techniques she used to persuade Joseph. "Every day," the Talmud says, "the wife of Potiphar would attempt to seduce him with words. Cloth she wore for him in the morning, she would not wear for him in the evening. Cloth she wore for him in the evening, she would not wear for him in the morning. She said to him, 'Surrender yourself to me.' He answered her 'No.' She threatened him, 'I shall confine you in prison...I shall subdue your proud stature...I will blind your eyes,'" but Joseph refused her. She then gave him a huge sum of money, but he did not budge.

At the end, she followed through on her threat, having him incarcerated in prison in an Egyptian dungeon on the false charges that he attempted to violate her. (At the end, he was freed after 12 years.)

The Talmud gives a graphic description of his inner torment:

"The image of his father appeared to him in the window and said, 'Joseph, your brothers' names are destined to be inscribed on the stones of the [high priest's] apron, and you will be among them. Do you want your name to be erased? Do you want to be called an adulterer?'"

The shalsheles is an elegant commentary on Joseph's struggle. A slave, with no realistic hope of rescue, was he to become an Egyptian, with all the promiscuity that implied? Or would he remain faithful to his past, his conscience, his identity?

In the end, Joseph refuses, but not without deep inner struggle.

Rabbi Joseph Ibn Caspi, writing in the 13th century, adds a vulnerable comment about himself: It is quite possible, he writes, that someone else with the same name would have chosen another path... He is referring to himself, as his name was Yosef, suggesting that he might have failed under those circumstances.

A Thundering No

How did Joseph overcome the enormous challenge?

This too is captured (according to the Divrei Yechezkel) by the rare musical note of the Shlasheles. Joseph may have suffered internally from ambivalence. But once he made the decision, he was all in.

Aware of the danger in front of him, Joseph presented the woman with a thundering "no." As the thrice-repetitive "shalsheles" note suggests, Joseph, in unwavering determination, declared three times: "No! No! No!" Forget about it, I will not do this! No buts, ifs, or maybes.

Once Joseph decided on his course of action, there was no negotiation, no giving in. Only afterward did Joseph allow himself the indulgence of the rational argument against adultery.

When it comes to temptation, addiction, and toxic cravings and thoughts, you can't become a negotiator, because then you will remain in the obsessive loop of anxiety and addiction. You must be determined, ruthless, and single-minded. You must, with calm conviction, repeat the same "no" over and over again. Never allow room for nuance, negotiation, or ambivalence.

The moment you begin explaining and justifying your behavior, you are likely to lose the battle. Only after an absolute and non-negotiable "no" can you proceed with the intellectual argument behind your decision.

The Push

There is an insightful expression about the way a person should deal with immoral and destructive thoughts, impulses, and fantasies. "You must push them away with both of your hands," says the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schnuer Zalman of Liadi in his Tanya.

What does it mean to push away a thought "with two hands?"

At times, you can push away a negative thought with one hand only. By fighting and arguing with the thought and the impulse, you give it validation. In effect, while pushing it away with one hand, you are inviting it to return with your second hand.

If you engage in these types of internal arguments and debates, you always lose. It is exactly what these thoughts hope for: To keep you locked into an endless loop of self-criticism, guilt, shame, and anxiety.

Pushing an impulse away with two hands means that you simply and silently dismiss it from your brain. Without argument, fanfare, or drama, you let it go. You make it very clear that you will not be going down that rabbit hole, and you must move on to alternative thoughts and actions. You do not validate it in any way, not even by arguing against it. You simply do not attribute any power or significance to it. That is what we call pushing it away "with both hands."

You do it without guilt or shame, without blaming yourself for how bad and sick you are. You do it with regulation and calmness, knowing who you really are at your core, and how you want to show up to life right now. From a regulated space, you allow these thoughts to pass through you, like the black clouds in the sky, so the sun can begin shining.

At a later point, you will have the serenity and mental bandwidth to discover the origin of these thoughts, why and how they developed, and how to unburden them from their need to drive you mad. For those of us who deal with anxiety and an inner critic who never goes on vacation, we will have to take time to address the origin of these thoughts, so that we do not suffer endlessly. But right now, in the heat and anxiety of the moment, learn how to let go of these nasty thoughts with a quiet grace, and without an argument, coming from your inner self-respect and clarity.

That is why the Hebrew word, "and he refused, Vayemaen," is the same letters as the Hebrew word "and he believed, Vayaaman," because the power to refuse these thoughts with such calm and conviction comes from your deep faith in G-d and in your own Divinity. You have an inner knowing that this action and these thoughts are a betrayal of G-d and of your own deepest truth. That faith allows you to avoid the confusion of not knowing who you are and how you want to proceed. You can just say: "This is not what I want for my life."

In this story of Joseph, then, we are given a timeless lesson of how to deal with disturbing, immoral, and debilitating thoughts and inclinations. Do not try to strike deals with them, or to convince them otherwise. They are fighting for their life, and will do anything to keep you stuck. Just say: No! No! No! We are not going down this path.

They will accuse you of being ignorant, dishonest, and stupid. So what? You will come out with a happier marriage and a meaningful life.

(Please make even a small and secure contribution to help us continue our work. Click here.)

References:

  • Genesis 19:16; 24:12; 39:8; Leviticus 8:23.
  • Genesis 39:6-9.
  • https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation/vayera/the-music-of-ambivalence/
  • In the continuation of the narrative, the Torah states (Genesis 39:11-12): "There was an opportune day when he entered the house to do his work, and none of the household staff was inside. She grabbed him by his cloak and pleaded, 'Lie with me.' He ran away from her, leaving his cloak in her hand, and he fled outside." What is the meaning of the phrase that Joseph "entered the house do to his work, and none of the household staff was inside?" What type of work did Joseph come to do? The Midrash suggests that the "work" Joseph came to do was to yield to the advances of his master's wife. After all of her unceasing pleas, Joseph finally succumbed. Only at the last moment did he abstain (Bereishis Rabah 87:7. Tanchumah 8-9. Zohar Vayechi 222a. See also Soteh 36b, quoted in Rashi to Genesis ibid).
  • Yuma 36a.
  • Soteh 36b.
  • Tanya chapter 12.
  • This essay on based on Divrei Yechezkel by the great Chassidic master Rabbi Yechezkel Shraga Halberstam, known as "the Shinever Rav," as well as Tanya chapters 27-28.
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The Yeshiva.net | December 13, 2025