Jewish Army

More accustomed to learning Torah than shooting arrows, the ad hoc, unofficial, untrained and amateur guerilla army forming out in the Judean hills is not believed to have a chance at beating the mighty Greek army, which boasts thousands of well-trained soldiers, war elephants, chariots and unlimited funds.

“We will crush, crumple, destroy, decimate, demolish, and totally wipe out those Jewish rebels,” exclaimed His Royal Highness King Antiochus, while glancing at his thesaurus. “We are strong; they are weak; we are many, they are few; we are vicious, and they are busy bookworms. They don’t stand a chance against us! Ha, ha, ha, ha, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, LOL, etc. etc. etc. and one more chuckle.”