There is a very interesting pattern found in this week’s Parsha. When Yehuda sees Tamar on the street and doesn’t recognize her, he enters negotiations for a relationship.
We find three times that Yehuda said something and Tamar responded. The Vilna Gaon points out that the Taamei Hakra, the trop or cantillation marks on these words, are special.
When Yehuda first speaks, the musical note is called, ‘pashta.’ When Tamar responds, the note on that word is also, ‘pashta.’
When Yehuda speaks again, the word, “vayomer” has over it the note, ‘zakef gadol.’ The “vatomer” of Tamar’s response sits under a ‘zakef gadol.’
The third time Yehuda speaks, the note is ‘revi’i.’ When Tamar responds? That’s right, ‘revi’i’ again.
Tamar understood that to build trust in a relationship, the other party must feel you are on the same page. One way to achieve this is by mirroring. By reflecting back to the other person what they are doing, you build a connection. She therefore responded in kind to not just what he said, but how he said it.
A good barometer of how close Hashem feels to us, is how close we feel to Him. If we don’t feel so close, we can work on emulating Him, and building that connection.
Thought of the week:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but so is ugly. We choose what we wish to see.
