The Alter, zl, m’Kelm, Horav Simchah Zissel Broide, was one of the primary disciples of Horav Yisrael Salanter, zl, founder of the Mussar Movement. He devoted his life to training his students to perfect themselves in the area of middos, character refinement/traits. Na’eh doreish v’na’eh me’kayeim. The Alter was himself the paradigm of ethical refinement. Any intelligent person could observe his countenance and demeanor and realize that before him stood an unusual person.
During one of his trips, he stopped overnight at a farm. The farmer and his wife had heard of the sage and were eager to provide him with accommodations. Taking money for the provisions and lodging was out of the question. They were honored to host the Rosh Yeshivah. The farmer’s wife was excited to be able to prepare a meal for Rav Simchah Zissel.
As she was preparing the meal, Rav Simchah Zissel struck up a conversation. He asked about their cow: Does it provide sufficient milk? Do the chickens lay enough eggs? Was the quality of the eggs good? How was their potato crop? The farmer’s wife was not bashful. She gave lengthy answers to each question. She went into detail, describing the health of the cow and chickens, and the work involved in planting a potato crop. During this whole time, Rav Simchah Zissel carried on a long, animated conversation with this simple woman.
Rav Simchah Zissel later explained his actions. This couple had kindly provided him with a room and meals for a day. The next day, he would be gone and would probably not see these people for at least a year or two. They had refused to accept any remuneration for the accommodations they had provided. How could he possibly repay them? The only other way was to show them that they were relevant, that he cared about their lives. By manifesting a friendly countenance, by taking an interest in the simple goals of their lives, by rejoicing over their achievements, and by praising their accomplishments, he was providing payment for their time and efforts. Rav Simchah Zissel placed great value on his time. Nonetheless, engaging in small talk with the farmer’s wife was his way of compensating for his accommodations.
Now, let us imagine how this would appear to the average spectator walking by and listening to the conversation that ensued between Rav Simchah Zissel and this woman. He would look at the sage in a shocked manner. This is the effect of appearances. It takes a very intelligent and discerning person with a penetrating mind to realize that what he saw and what was the true reality of what he saw, were two very different images.
