In this week’s Parsha the brothers sold Yosef Hatzaddik. Yaakov had an extra relationship with Yosef. All the Torah Yaakov learned he taught it to Yosef. In addition he favored Yosef and made him a special garment to wear. This caused great jealousy by his brothers.
To make things worse, Yosef would update Yaakov Avinu everything his brothers were doing wrong or more correctly what Yosef Hatzaddik thought they were doing wrong.
The Passuk tells us that one day Yaakov sent Yosef to check out on his brothers. Yosef went to check out on his brothers. From the distance the brothers noticed Yosef coming and decided to put an end to his behavior. When Yosef arrived they took him and placed him into a pit. Shortly after Yehuda spoke up and convinced his brothers not to kill Yosef but instead to sell Yosef as a slave. The rest of the story we all know. Yosef was sold, the brothers took his special garment dipped it into blood, took it to Yaakov and Yaakov was sure that Yosef had been killed.
Yaakov sat on the ground and mourned for Yosef. He couldn’t be comforted. Chazal tell us that when someone dies Hashem helps a person to slowly forget and be comforted. But Yosef was still alive so Yaakov couldn't be comforted and couldn't forget.
When the brothers saw the terrible ongoing pain of their father Yaakov they blamed Yehuda. He was their leader and if he would have convinced them enough they would never have sold Yosef. The brothers deposed Yehuda from being their leader.
The Chafetz Chaim's Story
The Chafetz Chaim told over the following story. There was a man who for many years produced whiskies in a basement. It was illegal but this way he avoided paying taxes. By evading taxes he became very wealthy.
One day the authorities caught him. He was arrested, his wealth was confiscated and he was convicted to a long prison sentence. Before he was taken to prison, he asked to be allowed to go and see his Rabbi. The authorities, knowing that he was going to serve a long sentence, had pity on him and he was taken to his Rabbi.
Everyone was sure that he was going to ask for a blessing and that the Rabbi should pray for him.
By Rabbi Dovid Caro
But, when he got there he started shouting at the Rabbi. "Rabbi, why didn’t you lecture, me that every thief gets caught and that I would lose all my wealth. Rabbi, you are to blame. You should have convinced me, explained me the severity of my actions. Instead I have lost everything and still have a long sentence in jail."
This is what the brothers said to Yehuda. If he would have calmed them down and convinced them enough, they would never have sold Yosef. Now they were stuck watching the agonizing suffering of Yaakov Avinu.
The Chafetz Chaim would add that every father and mother educates their children to behave correctly. Every Rebbi and teacher educates their students to behave correctly. Some listen more and some listen less.
Many times a parent or teacher will feel they have done their utmost and give up. But in Heaven our children and students will come to us and ask us why we never put in more effort to convince them what is the right path and what is eternally good for them.
It's not always about lecturing them or criticizing their actions. Instead we have to try our utmost to show our children and students and infuse them with the beauty of Avodas Hashem and how lucky we are that Hashem chose us, Klal Yisrael to learn His Torah and fulfill His Mitzvos. Furthermore if our children and students can look up to us as a role model and see our correct behavior, the joy we have in our Avodas Hashem, the sincerity we put into our prayers and the diligence when we learn Torah, surely that will shine across to them and have a profound impact, much more than our words.
Let us take this message into the special Yom Tov of Chanuka as we light the Menorah. Although we don’t have the Beis Hamikdash today but we still have the great merit to light the Menorah just like Aharon Hakohen. May Hashem bless us that the lights of the Menorah lighten up our eyes and warm up our hearts to recognize the ongoing miracles that Hashem does for us all day, every day. And may the burning fire that connects us to Hashem during these holy moments of lighting the Menorah and singing the beautiful Chanuka tunes, be so powerful that it shines across to our children as well, lighten up their Neshamos and warm up their hearts.
We have a great challenge ahead of us.
